Merry Xmas!

Yay Xmas!

Yay! Finals are over. I should know by Thursday *fingers crossed* what grade I'll be receiving in my class. This winter break, I HAVE to start working on my thesis. I at the very least need to get a solid idea put together.

I don't really know how to describe my coursework. It is not advertisement, or marketing based, it is deeper, and yet more generic than that. It is truely trying to understand language. To be able to understand why one person says "murder" while another says "abortion" while another says "free-choice". The ability to understand how language brings us together, and at the same time tears us apart. It can be applied to advertising, marketing, PR, community relations, etc. --but this degree isn't really targeted at any of those things. Sometimes I wish it was, so when people asked what I'm going to school for --or what I want to be when I grow up-- I could give a simple one word answer. I'll try to answer more questions if you have them, feel free to ask.

Now that finals are done and I have more or less a month off of school, I'm going to try to be really "good" with my food intake. All ready this morning I talked myself out of biscuits and gravy and into some oatmeal and fruit juice. Not quite as satisfying overall, but the much better food choice. So, easy to meet goals for the week:
1. Keep track of food intake.
2. Take fiber pills.
3. Do at least 2 workouts. (cardio, arms, legs, something! Just get moving!!!)

Time to go to the food market. I'll be back later *hopefully* to record food and reflect on the day.

-----------------------------------
I stayed really on track until dinner time. *Sigh* Isn't that the way of the world? I even saw the train wreck coming, but did little to stop it. I had mac and cheese for dinner --which is a no-no for me-- but at least paired it with some really yummy low-fat Healthy Choice sausage. The real killer was the cup of hot chocolate I had later that night. Boo! *slaps self on the wrist* I didn't even want it because I was cold, or because it sounded super yummy. I wanted it because I wanted something "soothing" to do while on the phone with the b/f.

Finals Week

Sorry everyone, this week is the week leading up to finals. All projects and papers are due this week and next week we're being tested over everything we supposedly learned this semester. So...that means I'm eating everythng within my grasp (and not stressing over it --I've got a whole month with no school and the ability to work out when this is over) and desperately trying to catch up with where I should have been months ago. teehee

*hugs* Keep up the good work everyone. I can't wait to catch up on my blogs and start updating blogger once again.

Monday update

Happy Thanksgiving everyone =D This last week wasn't an absolute eating disaster, but I had my share of holiday fun =) My lil' sis celebrated her 20th birthday with some german chocolate cake and pizza hut pizza. Did I indulge? oh my yes! Then the next day was thanksgiving, which brought with it chocolate pie and pumpkin pie. hehe. I stepped on the scale today, Monday, about an hour ago to see my weight was...*dramatic pause*.....184.4. Not too bad everything considered.

Ironman aka Spider asked me what I'm studying this semester. This semester, the focus is on modern communication. So, I'm looking at a bunch of stuff like "does advertisement count as a form of rhetorical communication?" or, in other words, "are we, as a society, what we see on tv?" lol. I like this stuff. The class has a very post-modern feeling to it. Nothing can be categorized. Everyone's reality is their own, and though I may view it, their thoughts can never 100% accurately line up with my own. When I see a pizza hut commerical, I may think --Why can't I eat pizza and look like the skinny blond girl there. Whereas the girl sitting next to me might think something along the lines of --maybe I'll order pizza tonight and see if I can get any friends over. We saw the same commerical, but somehow a totally different message was transferred over the airways. I like that. I like trying to figure out what the message the advertiser was trying to send was, and then seeing how that message was received by the masses. A great example is the show Family Guy. Personally, I love the show. However, my very conservative friend thinks it is the coming of the anti-christ (gotta love living in the Bible belt). Same show, I see it as a fun social commentary and she sees it as pure evil =)

On a similar note, I really, really, REALLY find myself intrigued by online communities. I'm an avid gamer. I love World of Warcraft. I never thought I'd be a fan of the Mass Marketed Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs) but I've made friends online that I'd visit in a heartbeat. I've never met them in person, but someone we've shared enough through a make-believe landscape that I'd like to get to know them in real life. =0) The same concept goes for a lot of online blogging. I mean, be honest! Hasn't there been somebody's blog that you've read for the past couple of months/years and thought they sound like an interesting person to meet. I'm interested in studying how that intial communication takes place, how the bonds/relationships form, and how they develop over time. I know, I know...I'm a geek! But the truth of the matter is, I find it absolute facinating that I'm talking to people around the world about the same things. Weight loss, rowdy/lazy kids, house work, finding a job, etc. There are a lot of shared bonds between us, even if we're millions of miles away. Number one bond being that need for communication. To know someone out there is listening. To have the ability to communicate our feelings, even if it is just with ourselves in a personal blog.

*steps down off of soapbox* sorry, I get passionate sometimes, just throw something and I'll generally shut up =0)

Let's see. Today was an awful day for food intake. I was really, really, REALLY craving McDonalds this morning. I caved and bought a double cheeseburger. the whole time I was eating it, I just kept thinking to myself " you better enjoy this 26 grams of fat you're eating" which of course, somewhat lessened the enjoyment. It was yummy though. Dinner was half of a small tostinos pizza. Once again, I knew it was evil as I put it in my mouth, but yummy. Follow that up with a snack of buttery popcorn and a few dark chocolate pieces thrown in for a little bit of sweetness and you've got a recipe for a naughty day for food intake. hehe. Little sis got a hot chocolate maker for her b-day, she brought down some for me. *smacks lips* Yeah, I'd hate to actually try to count calorie intake and or fat intake for the day. I am resolved to be much better tomorrow. However, knowing that I've got a BIG presentation to plan for on Wednesday and an 18 page paper to start writing isn't helping that resolve much. You know what I think *may* help that resolve??? A big fat shiny engagement ring. My boyfriend and I have started ring shopping! I am happy and excited and nervous all in the same second. The wedding wouldn't be for *at least* another year, but still something to consider when I'm thinking about what is going into my mouth.

I'm going to do another shout out here. I am a lazy, lazy, LAZY little girl. If you have any recipe ideas that are healthy, I'd love to have them posted here OR give me a link. I'll make sure to link back to your blog and give credit to you for finding the recipe. HELP!! Please!! Growing up, my mom never forced any veggie down my throat other than corn. I ate my first salad when I was 15 years old! That was seriously my first encounter with even considering eating lettuce. Any help at all would be much appreciated.

*hugs* take care bloggers!

A fun thing from Linda's blog

Lets101 Quizzes - fun'>http://www.lets101.com/blog/quizzes">fun online quiz

Craziness

Omg!! This week is going to be fun, but absolute craziness. My boyfriend has taken the week off of work (he is required to use up a certain amount of vacation days, or lose them), so I'll be driving an hour back and forth to school this whole week. hehe. Like I said, craziness! We've both said we are going to try to encourage eachother to "eat well", but the fact that there are 3 different kinds of ice cream in the freezer leads me to believe that we may be fooling ourselves. But, I think we're both set on at least making informed choices and thinking about it before it goes into our mouths.

I found a recipe on yahoo for alfredo that is "low fat" that I'm thinking I'm going to try next week. It isn't going to taste as yummy as the "real deal" but it sounds good. Since that is one of my all time favorite foods, it is worth a try. I'll report back how it turns out. I think I'll put some chicken in mine to up the protein and make it a more filling meal. I may try cutting the recipe in half since it is just the two of us (my sis and I) eating here.

Have a great week everyone! I'll catch up with you later.

P.S. Hey Chris, you are right about my little sis. When I was home over the weekend, talking to my mom, she asked, "So how's raising a teenager going for you?" Grr! hehe

A new week

Welcome to a new week. *sigh* I really hate typing the following phrase, but it seems necessary. Nothing new going on here. I don't type that to be self-depricating, I only type it because it is true.

I've been working on setting some goals for myself, but I find all ready that I'm struggling with just daily goals. Geez! When did I become so lazy? An old friend from high school sent me an email the other day to ask what was going on in my life, and I answered truthfully. "not much" LoL. We haven't talked in a year, and that was pretty much what I came up with. I mentioned the masters degree and the fact I'm with the same b/f --but that was about all I could come up with to talk about. He thought I was blowing him off. =0/ Somewhere along the line, not only did I lose most of my ambition/drive, but I also lost a lot of my social abilities. I wonder if my weight has something to do with that. I am certainly a lot more self consious now. I don't just think I can flirt my way out of most situations (oh to be 17 again!). But, I also have found myself wondering a lot about different things....

I've often talked about my little sister. She lives here with me, and honestly, love her to death, but she drives me batty. I mean, sometimes I have to leave the room because she annoys me so much. What an awful thing to say, but in some ways, I wonder if she doesn't annoy me because she is too much of a reflection of myself. Now, let go ahead and warn you now that if you continue reading you may find yourself ankle deep in self-analyzation, a.k.a. BS. =)

So, here is what I'm thinking. Little sis annoys me because she refuses to be a self starter. She ignores things hoping they will go away. She claims to not notice "problems", but I refuse to believe she doesn't process that the sink is completely full of dirty dishes, that she leaves every light on in the house, or the million other little annoying things she does. So, why do I want to strangle her when she does this stuff, but I make excuses and allowances for myself when I refuse to go to the gym, don't work on my masters thesis, or accomplish any housework?!?! Why? Because it is different *rolls eyes* I'm a hypocrite. You know those realizations that cause bile to start slowly creeping up your throat, that is kind of one for me.

My boyfriend has been begging for over a year now for me to tell him what motivates me. Boy, oh boy, oh boy! Wouldn't the person that figured out how to bottle motivation be a billionaire in no time! So let me think for a moment....what motivates me?

1. Food. I know, I know, slap me on the nose and say I'm bad, but food has always been a motivator for me. I blame my parents (joking!). I remember as a kid, after music recitals, science fairs, etc. I'd get to go to McDonalds. Or, maybe I should blame the public school system! They used to hand out all you can eat buffet coupons to the kids on the "A" honor roll. I know it is wrong, but I still find myself offering "bribes" to finish school work, or even to do some sort of physical activity. So, food is a motivator for me, but anymore, it is a guilty motivator which doesn't do me a lot a whole lot of good. Nothing kills motivation quicker than guilt.

2. Praise. I'm a Leo. I can't help myself!! I love being showered in attention. Well, let me rephrase that, I love being showered in positive attention. A few years ago, I signed up to go to the gym with my b/f. Even though he is over-weight, he really is "into" the workout scene. He likes moving heavy stuff around. He took me through a work out, showed me how to use machines, and spotted me on the heavy weights. For the first week, it was a great experience. I loved the one-on-one time we had together. I loved hearing him say he was proud of me for taking that first step. I loved hearing about how great =D I mean, honestly, who doesn't love that pat on the back from the person they love! But, after about three weeks, those praises dried up. I wasn't advancing as quickly as he thought I should. I didn't always use the machines correctly. I was laughing and talking to people at the gym instead of being 100% focused and serious. No praise, no workout. Even worse, I cringe at the thought of stepping foot into a gym with him again. He doesn't understand, no matter how often I've tried to explain, the way he approaches workouts in not acceptable to me. I don't care what happens to young males in football camp, if I wanted to be yelled at, I'll go kick a police officer.

3. Grace of God. Heh, I didn't quite know what to call this one. You know those days when you wake up and feel like you've been blessed. You have a clear picture in your head of what you will acomplish that day, and nothing will stop you? I consider those days granted by the grace of God. I know, they most likely are a product of my own making, but sometimes they just seem so ordained.

My weight is up a little bit so far this week, but I blame that on TOM. No, I haven't been eating out of control or anything like that, but I am up 2 pounds. I have a feeling those will be gone in no time though. Oh, for dinner tonight I had Healthy Choice Sausage. It was actually pretty good!! It tasted almost exactly like a normal kielbasa (sp??) sausage. Only 2.5g of fat though, in comparison with 7+ grams of fat in normal sausages. It was a good change of pace for tonight's dinner =) I couldn't find it on the healthy choice website but their site does have a couple of tastey recipes I'll be checking out later.

Take care everyone in blog land!! =D

Smell my feet!

Happy Halloween!

Not much to report today. I ate out a ton over the weekend. I was a little alarmed, but went ahead and weighed in this morning and my weight was....*drum roll* 181. WTH!?! I'm not upset to have not gained weight, but I just find it so odd that the body decides sometimes --BAM!-- no more. This is the weight I'm going to stay at.

Nothing new or exciting to report. I'm actually making a list of things I want to accomplish. I'm thinking I'll make daily, weekly, and monthly goals. Maybe 1 or 2 really long term goals, like being able to dress as something exceptionally slutty for next halloween =0p

My NSV for today: My sister and I went grocery shopping together. She decided she *had* to have some sort of cake, and sense she wanted it last week too, I figured she might as well indulge. Afterall, you have a craving for 2 weeks, it probably isn't just going to go away. She bought a 6 pack of cupcakes at the store. I ate one, she ate 5. hehe. yay me! and don't think I threw her under the bus either....she is a tiny little thing. She eats *all* the time and it has yet to catch up to her.

Hope everyone has a safe, fun Halloween night. I'm going to drive the hour to go visit my b/f. I'm not exactly sure why since it isn't a "big" holiday, but I feel sad being apart on special occasions.

TRICK OR TREAT!!!!

More of nothing

*sigh* I have no structure or purpose in life. Now, I'm not saying that to be a jackass or one of those people that mope and groan about how awful life is.....my life is awesome....it just has little to no purpse. LoL.

You know those days where you look around and think to yourself, "what have I accomplished today?" That is the type of day I am having. What have I done. Well, I woke up (always a good start), ate a granola bar and drank a diet coke. Emptied the dishwasher. Listened to my little sister lament about being hungry. Cooked some lunch. Ate lunch. Talked to another sister on the phone. Emailed dad. Played video games --which in turn had me talking with my brother-- then ended up here wondering how it was all ready 3:00 in the afternoon.

I've always been a planner. I like oraganizing things, it is just the implementation of those plans that I struggle with....I have so many plans....but I do nothing with them. Instead I let the day pass without anything of significance being accomplished. I've got to start setting and meeting goals. Geez I need to get myself on track.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen

Wednesday Report =0p

Okay, okay! I know I said I'd be back Tuesday. Nobody is going to believe me if I keep coming back late =0p But here I am!!

So, after a weekend of over-eating and a week of not being very good (mmm....chinese for dinner last night!) I am still 183 pounds. Hmm....that seems so wrong! I should be back up to 190, but don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I have been keeping busy around the house trying to get stuff organized, as well as busy in school work (less time for snacking!) so maybe that evened things out a little. Either way, I wish I had been good and dropped some weight this week because --insert drum roll here-- the boyfriend has off Thursday and Friday this week. I emailed him earlier today that I wasn't sure what time I'd be up at his house and he sent back a response of "...if you make it up here early, we can eat at your favorite restaurant" *giggle* I need to find a less fattening favorite restaurant =)

This weekend we have a wedding to go to. The b/f is actually a groomsman in the wedding, so we have go show up friday night for a rehersal too. Well, technically, I don't have to show up, but since I was invited, I don't know....seems a little rude to not show up. Wedding is Saturday, so this weekend will pretty much be a lost cause. Speaking of lost causes, I had to call and make ANOTHER appt for the b/f's truck. Stupid truck won't start when it rains. The last place we took it to wanted to charge $600 for repairs. He declined service and we've lived with the fear of rain for months now. the problem didn't get any better as the rainy months approached and onset on us, so Thursday, we're shipping the truck to another repair clinic. *crosses fingers* hope this repair bill comes in at less cost --AND--fixes the problem. My vote on what's broke.... spark plugs! I think they have too much carbon build up on them. hehe. That's what was wrong with my riding lawn mower *snickers* I like to cross apply that learning =0p

well, I better leave off here. I prob. won't be back until next monday or tuesday (do you still believe me? =0p ) but for now....I have to get ready to take a test! Wish me luck!!

Early Weekend

Yay! The boyfriend has tomorrow off work, so I'm taking an early weekend from blogging =D I'll be back Monday....Tuesday at the latest =0p

Take care!

Another day

Not much to talk about today. I woke up fairly early for me today. I was up by 9:30am to make sure I was around for moral support for the b/f. He decided to "brush up" on his interviewing skills and apply out for a new job. I don't think he is very serious about this new job, he has a great job all ready (that just gave him a raise! yay!!) but I still wanted to be around if he wanted to blow off a little nervous energy with a phone call or email.

While I waited for that call/email (that never came --I wish I had half the confidence he has in situations like that!) I cleaned the kitchen, hand washed my pots and pans, and got all the dishes into the dishwasher. I also swept the floor (my house is hardwood), but I got lazy and decided to eat lunch before doing the mopping. Or, in other words, the mopping didn't get done. Oh well, I still felt pretty happy about getting a majority of the stuff I wanted cleaned, clean before noon. Lunch was taco soup, which is fairly healthy stuff. Of course, about an hour and a half after I finished eating, my little sis asked if I wanted a biscuit. Mmmm...hot out of the oven biscuits! One of my all time favorite foods. I said "yes" but I only ate one, so I didn't feel *too* bad. Dinner was chicken and brown rice, so once again, I felt pretty good about my food choice. *grins* When the little sis proposed an ice cream run to McDonalds though, I once again caved. Mmmm....caramel ice cream sundaes! With peanuts on top! *drools* It was amazing. I loved every bite of it, but I feel a little bad about it now. especially since the boyfriend called me up saying he was "really" in the mood for sweet. hehe. I didn't share the info with him that I had just gobbled up some ice cream. Oh well, I did drink my liter of water today, so I feel pretty happy about that. I also got a lot of fiber in with today's meals, which was also a goal for me. So, even though I wasn't completely "on" with a diet today, I did make progress in the right direction. I even made sure to nibble something for breakfast --even though breakfast is by far my least favorite meal of the day.

i'm sleepy. Time for me to head to bed. Night night fellow bloggers!

Update

Thanks everyone for welcoming me back. I read my last couple of blog posts before the disappearance and I thought I'd update you all on a few things I've talked about in the past.

My sister did get induced on my birthday. To be somewhat fair about it, she felt really bad about having me watch her kids on my birthday. I think she even felt a little bit bad about me having to share my birthday. I don't know....I'm not bitter about it anymore. It is just kind of one of those "family things" where you like to bitch about it a lot before it happens and afterwards it doesn't seem like such a big deal. My new nephew is happy and healthy and growing like a weed. He is a pretty adorable little guy. Also pretty funny because if he gets anywhere near you, he starts nuzzling and trying to suck. Greedy little guy. I often have to remind him that my boobies are mine. Boys! They sure do learn early =0p

Another thing I like to bitch about often in my blog is my little sister and housemate. *sigh* I still have to say, she is driving me batty. Honestly, I have never in my life met a person with less self-initiative. She called me a couple of weeks ago and asked how to change the battery in the smoke alarm. It is not a complicated smoke alarm.....the battery case is right on the front and easy to open. But she couldn't do it on her own without asking for directions. This weekend, I called her 8 times and she never once rang me back. When I saw her today, she said "yeah, I got your message this morning." Umm....in one of the voicemails I left, I said something along the lines of "I don't care when you get this message. Call me back immediately" *sigh* She frustrates me *SOOOO* much. She is about to turn 20 and she can't/won't do anything without asking permission first. She never picks up on her own. She refuses to take responsability for anything. UGH! When I decided to get my master's degree (in Communication for those of you that have asked) my parents kind of made an "unspoken/unofficial" deal with me. That deal was, they'd buy a house for us girls to live in (instead of the dorms) if I agreed to watch over little sis and make sure she was okay. I'm about to the point where I'd rather live in the dorms than play mother to a teenager. *rolls eyes* We're just *such* different personality types. Even though I tend to be cautious, I cannot just be an absent observer in life. *growls* Even thinking about her is starting to annoy me. What an awful thing to say about ones family!!! Love the girl to death, but yeah, wish I could change her and know that I can't.

As for my weight....after another weekend of being bad, bad, BAD! I am up to 184 again. *sigh* I'm not particularly upset by that number because I know by Friday I'll be back down to 180 or 179. The thing that saddens me is I'll eat like a pig and be back to 184 (or heaven forbid higher!) by next Monday again. Really a pretty predictable cycle for me. Yeah, I know how to break that cycle. Eat healthier and move my butt on occasion --preferrably further than the couch to the microwave =0p --but with the boyfriend taking off a lot of time from work (he has to burn off vacation days before the end of the year) I know we'll be doing a lot more eating out. Maybe at least we'll get into the habit of going out and walking again. We had been doing that a lot and the weather is nice and cool now =0)

=0)

Wow! I have to say....if I miss one day typing in this thing, then I miss a couple of months. hehe. Sorry about those that actually wondered where I was. Basically, I was doing school work. =)

The semester has started and though I don't have a heavy course load, I'm really struggling with staying focused on working on my Masters thesis. *sigh* Nothing like trying to pick a direction on a 60-100 page paper. It has to be something I love, or I know I'll never finish it. I have my parents, boyfriend, friends, professors, and other random people in my life asking how it is going and all I can say is....."ummm" Cause truth is, it hasn't gone hardly anywhere. So sad. what is worse is the fact that I'm on the border of lying to people just to have them back off. I haven't gone there yet...I'm trying my hardest to stay away from there....I know what kind of cess pool that could lead to *sigh*

My boyfriend has decided we need to buy a house. He wants one badly, and to be honest, I can't fault him. If I was still living with my parents I would be clawing at the door to get out. Not that my parents aren't awesome, but it is hard to live a "grown up" life with your parents still asking you to bring your laundry down or clean your room =0p anyway, he has been saving cash like mad...which is awesome!...I've always been on his ass to save money...but it is sad too. It is kind of frightening too though. I feel like I'm about to have all safety platforms ripped out from under me. Once I take that jump, in my mind, it is done. We will be as good as married. We've been together for a very long time, and I love him tons, but there are a couple of personality flaws between us that I'm not sure will ever iron out. I guess that is how it is with a lot of couples --and without some strife, there wouldn't be as much love (or love wouldn't be as noticable--) but it still worries me.

On the weight loss front, things have really stalled out. Once I lost that major goal of a Vegas vacation, most of my motivation instantly went out the door. After Vegas, I was back up to my orginal starting weight in no time. Back to the 190s. Boo! So, I started trying to get my butt back to at least eating right. I'm down to fluxing between 180 and 183 right now. I really want to see those 170s come back. I need to start busting my ass. I just can't find that motivation. I kind of wish I had the cash for a personal trainer. Someone to yell at me when I don't show up and bust my ass and someone to hug me when I make it down a couple of pounds. I really, really, REALLY think blogging helped keep me on track. Even though you ladies and gentleman were so far away, I felt some accountability. Funny how that works, isn't it? I've never met you and I'll most likely never meet you....but yet I still value your thoughts.

Forgive me for my absence. I will try very hard to start blogging on a regular basis during the week. Weekends are still mine to hide behind the couch with a bag of chips *sneaks off*

Re-post?

So....yeah, I tried to post this yesterday. It says it has beeen posted, but I don't see it when I look at my blog, so if this is a re-post I apoligize.

I'm back!!!
Hi everyone! I'm back!! Vegas was amazing. I really and truely love it there so much. I've been 100% off track since returning though, as you can probably see with my lack of posts. There has literally been no order in my life since returning. I sleep weird hours, eat at strange times, loaf around the house when chores should be done, etc. It hasn't been pretty. I wish I could say next week will be better, but I know it won't be (and I'll provide an explanation later on in this post)

First and foremost, I want to say congrats to all the Race to the Shower winners! I think everyone that participated was a winner! I didn't do a final weigh-in since I was either going crazy making plans for Vegas or in Vegas when the final weight loss was supposed to be tallied, but I loved the idea of a challenge and everyone was great! I think I'll try to get involved in another challenge in the future. Now that I don't have a solid deadline for wanting to loose weight, I find myself highly unmotivated. I knew, before Vegas, that I had X amount of time to lose weight. There wasn't any "ifs, ands, or buts" about it. The plane left on a certain day and I wanted to be on it a lighter woman. Now I need to find another motivating factor. I picked back up about 10 pounds while in vegas (yay for liquid bread...a.k.a. beer!) so that needs to come off.

I'm not 100% sure what happened in Vegas, but I think I grew up just a little bit while I was down there. LoL. That shouldn't happen when you are in Vegas of all places, but it really got me thinking that I wanted to be married (I've been with my b/f 7 years now) and have a house and think about having kids one day. It is kind of odd. I've always been the person in this relationship that is pushing off setting "grown up" goals, but now, something inside is telling me to go for it. Which is truely ironic since the b/f has been in a lousy mood since getting back. I guess that shows ya how much you care for a person, when you are ready to start shopping for houses with them even though you just want to slap them across the face and tell them to stop being depressed =0p *sends mental hugs his way* Love him to death. Wish I knew what was bothering him. But until he is ready to share/work-on the problem, wish he'd just cheer up.

Speaking of cheering up, I'm being a bit of a self centered prick myself. hehe. At least I know I'm a little sore though =0) My sister is having a baby. Yay! this will be her 4th child. (poor girl! she will have 4 boys under the age of 4 next week) and it is scheduled to be born....*dramatic pause*.....on my birthday! *wails with grief* I feel bad, but damn it! I don't want to share my birthday. How awful is it for me to be mad at a little baby that isn't even born yet. LoL. So, even more sad is the fact she is being purposely induced on my birthday (when the doctor was able to schedule the labor room) and on my birthday, I'll be getting up at 5:30am so I can drive over to her house and watch her 3 kids.....a 4-year-old and twin 1-year-olds. Happy birthday to me!

She feels bad about it because she knows birthday are a HUGE deal for me. Growing up, it just so happened that scout camp always fell on the week of my birthday, so my dad and the majority of my siblings would never be home on my "special day". So now that I control my birthday actions, I always make a huge celebration out of it. My sis kept telling me she was going to get me a huge present to say thanks, but I don't think she understood that I didn't want a present. I'll do this for her because I love her and she needs my help, not because I want something, but I can't/won't lie about not *really* wanting to do it. Waking up early, changing dirty diapers, watching Thomas the Train movies and trying to figure out what a screaming child wants just wasn't in the birthday plans. *sigh* yeah, writing about it isn't making me feel any better. I really am pouting over it --like I said--I'm a little sore over it.

So, I probably won't get to write next week. I'll be "on call" just in case my sis goes into labor early. that means I'll be shacking up with either my b/f or my parents just waiting around. Which, in my humble opinion, just waiting around is about the worst form of torture available...with the exception of that screaming, dirty diapered child. =0)
Posted by VegasGirl at 9:38 PM

I'm back!!!

Hi everyone! I'm back!! Vegas was amazing. I really and truely love it there so much. I've been 100% off track since returning though, as you can probably see with my lack of posts. There has literally been no order in my life since returning. I sleep weird hours, eat at strange times, loaf around the house when chores should be done, etc. It hasn't been pretty. I wish I could say next week will be better, but I know it won't be (and I'll provide an explanation later on in this post)

First and foremost, I want to say congrats to all the Race to the Shower winners! I think everyone that participated was a winner! I didn't do a final weigh-in since I was either going crazy making plans for Vegas or in Vegas when the final weight loss was supposed to be tallied, but I loved the idea of a challenge and everyone was great! I think I'll try to get involved in another challenge in the future. Now that I don't have a solid deadline for wanting to loose weight, I find myself highly unmotivated. I knew, before Vegas, that I had X amount of time to lose weight. There wasn't any "ifs, ands, or buts" about it. The plane left on a certain day and I wanted to be on it a lighter woman. Now I need to find another motivating factor. I picked back up about 10 pounds while in vegas (yay for liquid bread...a.k.a. beer!) so that needs to come off.

I'm not 100% sure what happened in Vegas, but I think I grew up just a little bit while I was down there. LoL. That shouldn't happen when you are in Vegas of all places, but it really got me thinking that I wanted to be married (I've been with my b/f 7 years now) and have a house and think about having kids one day. It is kind of odd. I've always been the person in this relationship that is pushing off setting "grown up" goals, but now, something inside is telling me to go for it. Which is truely ironic since the b/f has been in a lousy mood since getting back. I guess that shows ya how much you care for a person, when you are ready to start shopping for houses with them even though you just want to slap them across the face and tell them to stop being depressed =0p *sends mental hugs his way* Love him to death. Wish I knew what was bothering him. But until he is ready to share/work-on the problem, wish he'd just cheer up.

Speaking of cheering up, I'm being a bit of a self centered prick myself. hehe. At least I know I'm a little sore though =0) My sister is having a baby. Yay! this will be her 4th child. (poor girl! she will have 4 boys under the age of 4 next week) and it is scheduled to be born....*dramatic pause*.....on my birthday! *wails with grief* I feel bad, but damn it! I don't want to share my birthday. How awful is it for me to be mad at a little baby that isn't even born yet. LoL. So, even more sad is the fact she is being purposely induced on my birthday (when the doctor was able to schedule the labor room) and on my birthday, I'll be getting up at 5:30am so I can drive over to her house and watch her 3 kids.....a 4-year-old and twin 1-year-olds. Happy birthday to me!

She feels bad about it because she knows birthday are a HUGE deal for me. Growing up, it just so happened that scout camp always fell on the week of my birthday, so my dad and the majority of my siblings would never be home on my "special day". So now that I control my birthday actions, I always make a huge celebration out of it. My sis kept telling me she was going to get me a huge present to say thanks, but I don't think she understood that I didn't want a present. I'll do this for her because I love her and she needs my help, not because I want something, but I can't/won't lie about not *really* wanting to do it. Waking up early, changing dirty diapers, watching Thomas the Train movies and trying to figure out what a screaming child wants just wasn't in the birthday plans. *sigh* yeah, writing about it isn't making me feel any better. I really am pouting over it --like I said--I'm a little sore over it.

So, I probably won't get to write next week. I'll be "on call" just in case my sis goes into labor early. that means I'll be shacking up with either my b/f or my parents just waiting around. Which, in my humble opinion, just waiting around is about the worst form of torture available...with the exception of that screaming, dirty diapered child. =0)

Sorry!

Sorry I haven't been able to post much lately. I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row before I head off to Vegas! Lots of packing, cleaning, arranging for mail to be picked up and grass to be cut. Not to mention, last night I looked at my boyfriend and said, "Who is supposed to drive us to the airport and pick us up?" --uh oh. That's a tiny little detail we'd overlooked. Hopefully we can figure out someone to get us there by Friday morning =0p

So, of course this weekend was nothing but drama since it was leading up to the weekend we're going out of town. lol. Friday night the b/f got home from a business trip and slept the rest of the night. Boy, I hope I don't have to tell you how old I felt sitting at home on a Friday night all by myself. Just me, world of warcraft, and some gas station nachos for company (Your fault Spidey!! You reminded me of a love gone by! *giggles*) Saturday morning was okay. The b/f made me homemade biscuits and gravy, my absolute favorite food. (diet? what diet?!?!). More WoW was played until *pouts* the b/f had to go into work. He only has to work on saturday once every 3 months, but I still hate it interupting our time together. However, I'd planned to use the time he was gone to catch up with my parents and siblings. A couple minutes after I closed the door behind him, the phone was ringing. His truck was broken. *sigh*

A quick car switch for him (he had to be at work and was all ready late) and some help from his mom and dad had his car pushed back up the street and parked on the side of the road. Oh yeah, did I mention it was pouring while we were all outside pushing? hehe. I know this will sound sick, I was really sore the next day from all that pushing, but I thought it was kind of fun to get to move the truck. it was a big sense of accomplishment. LoL. Plus it gave me an excuse to play outside in the rain. with him at work, that left me to call the insurance, ask about free towing, and start calling around to dealerships to see how fast they could get his truck in for a look-see. Of course, since this happened on Saturday, no mechanics were available. *sigh* So, instead of heading back down to school on Monday, I went ahead and stayed at his house. I got ahold of a mechanic (Who was super sweet to me. God bless people with patients and manners. I think he asked something like "what seems to be the problem with the truck?" and my answer was something along the lines of "It won't go" hehe. He walked me through it though and was great!) and had the truck towed. In between all this stuff, I also got the MIL's house vaccuumed and the floors swept. hehe....which is only funny because after I'd done all this, she called my b/f to ask what I was doing if I was staying in town to help him out and she wondered if I'd be interested in helping her out with a little cleaning =0p

Still no word on what is wrong with the truck. When I called to check in yesterday they said it started right up for them with no problems. *sigh* Isn't that always how life works out? We asked that they still poke around a little bit. this wasn't a problem of it just not starting Saturday. Sunday it was having problems too (it started but blew black smoke out the tail pipe and off the motor--yikes!) and Monday morning it once again refused to start. Today I need to get the majority of my things packed for the Vegas trip (Friday morning first thing we're on our way to the airport!), the grass mowed, bills paid, and the house cleaned up so I won't be coming home to a disaster area (nor will I worry about what I left mildewing in the sink). All this needs to be done fairly quickly because my parents are having their "4th of July" celebrations tonight, on the 3rd.

So much to do!!!! What am I doing sitting around on Blogger!?!?

Take care everyone! I may or may not blog for the next 2 weeks. Don't forget about me though. I'll be back =D

The next day....

*yawns* Yeah, he got it all done. I'm not sure how "good" some of it was nor am I sure that the teacher had in mind double spacing his answers *crosses fingers and prays that is what she was expecting* but at least he got it done. This last assignment was worth 25% of his grade. He had an "A" going into the last test, so hopefully he did well enough to keep that mark.

The alarm that I was supposed to set didn't go off in the morning. Thankfully, he had asked me to set the alarm on my phone as well. Never good when you are in charge of setting the alarm and you punch in the time and forget to turn the stupid thing on! Oh well, with the alarm on the phone going off he got out of the house one time more or less. Of course, with only about an hour and a half worth of sleep I'm not sure how he stayed awake through all his meetings. After helping him out the door, I went back in to sleep some more. About an hour later, his mom came in and started shaking me and telling me that I needed to get up. She had been asleep when I arrived with the limeaids last night, so she thought I was her son. LoL. I'd have liked to have known what she was thinking when the blob in bed she thought was her son started talking back in a female voice. hehe. She knew it was me as soon as I said something, but it still struck me as really funny.

I continued to sleep until around 9am when I got up with a headache. The next day, the headache is still here and ugly. =0/ I thought for the Vegas trip I'd try to detox from the diet coke so I wouldn't get caffiene headaches while away from home. the diet coke thinks differently. I've decided I'll continue on with the diet coke addiction and just make sure I pack some excedrine to answer my caffiene needs while I'm away from my "supply" =0p

Yesterday was a pretty bad food day. I don't know why I feel the need to confess that here, but I do. When I woke up, I realized it was before 11am which means a 44 ounce cherry limeaid was only $0.99 a great reason to get out of bed. I was feeling kind of grouchy due to lack of sleep and the headache AND because the boyfriend was going out of town. I'm always kind of lost when he isn't around even though I don't physically see him most of the week. So, while I was treating myself to the cherry limeaid I went ahead and got a chili cheese frito wrap as well. Not my best move, but I decided it was probably less fat than the sausage, egg and gravy toaster sandwich. The wrap was yummy, but I dont know if it was the guilt of the grease, but soon my tummy was telling me I should have made a better decision. I did my errands while I was in town, making sure I picked up and dropped off all the stuff my mom and dad asked me to and then I drove the hour back to school.

I did some reading, played some WoW (World of Warcraft) and then decided I was very bored. Since it was raining, I decided to stay in and watch a movie. I popped some popcorn, grabbed some chocolate chips from the freezer and watched Chicago. It was worth the watch, but I don't think I'll stop to watch it again and if given the opportunity to pay money to watch it in the theater, I think I'd probably pass. The story was cute, but the music wasn't as great as I was expecting. Perhaps that's because i'm not a huge fan of jazz or maybe it is because I don't really like callous women. lol. Either way, next time I'll watch the producers (callous men are so much better =0p ), phantom, or good ole' Moulin Rouge.

Thanks for the comments. =0) I hope for a special show of appreciation from the b/f too, but I doubt anything comes of it. Or at least, anything that I notice. We've been together for so long that I think sometimes it really takes stepping back and looking at the situation to realize that the other person is a real sweetheart. *grins* I think the Vegas trip will help those little romantic moments stick out better.

Ooh! That reminds me. Two questions:
1) Anyone Know what happened to the blog "My body is my Temple" She went away to Vegas and her blog disappeared.
2) Anyone have any good restaurant advice about Vegas? Good show advice? Good random advice??

So damn tired

Oh my goodness! I am sooooo tired!!! My poor b/f was told yesterday that he'd be going out of town Wednesday morning. His plane leaves early, so his alarm is set for 4am. Yuck! On top of that little bit of adventure for him, he has a final due Thursday! Well, seeing as he isn't getting back until Friday, he has been working on it frantically all night. I feel really, really bad for him! Being the great g/f that I am *snickers* I drove up from school to bring him some food and help out in any way that I can. I even tried to pack his suitcase for him! However, the absolute lack of sleep (he is getting up in less than 2 hours and he is still typing away on his final!), the excessive warmth in the room, and the stress level of needing to get so much done is starting to make him very cranky and suddenly I find myself wondering exactly why I chose to come up in the first place. LoL

Poor guy. I really do feel bad for him, but I'm so tired my head is about to crash into the keyboard.

My food intake was so-so today. Honestly, I've been feeling a little under the weather with a belly ache for the past couple of days so when I actually do decide to eat, it is either not enough or too much. Speaking of food intake, the South Beach Diet pizzas......Yum! if you don't mind thin (cracker like) crust....so yum in fact that I am having a hard time finding them. I think the next time my grocery store stocks them, I'll have to grab 3 or 4. They make a nice dinner that is very filling.

So.....tired........I hope, hope, HOPE he does okay on this final. It is worth so many points and it really is a bit unfair for him to have to do it without much preperation because he is being sent out of town. =0/

Bleh!

You know those days where everyone you see and everyone you talk to seems to be either sad or in a bad mood? Yeah, that has been my day. I'm emotionally drained and I've eaten way too much. Okay, not way too much, but I'm sure I made it to 1,500 calories today =0)

This weekend was a lot the same as most. I ate out too much, but enjoyed it. hehe. My boyfriend and I have gotten pretty "okay" with splitting a meal when we eat out. I know that might sound kind of odd, but restraunts often send out HUGE portions, so we've found that splitting an entre can often fill us both up. We still get to eat out and have fun, but we don't go home so stuffed that we can barely walk. But we still ate out this weekend. We had a steak, Italian, and pizza. Even though I ate badly, I do believe portion control was excersised.

So, funny story....I bought a bag of spinach and I wanted to try a recipe with it. My b/f offered to make me spinach lasagna. I really resisted this idea because lasagna has two of the food groups that I'm really trying to avoid. My weaknesses.....pasta and cheese. =0) So, long story short, he talked me into it saying that it wouldn't be "that" bad for me. *snickers* yeah, right! I bet there was maybe 1/4 of a bag of spinach in the whole lasagna. There was a whole bag of shredded cheese, 1/2 a tub of ricotta, and about 1/2 a tub of cottage cheese. I'm not thinking it was "good" for me. I have to say though, the b/f is a great cook and it turned out yummy (how could that much cheese and noodles not be yummy?!?!) plus it was really sweet of him to do for me.

Off to bed. I think I'm going to really try to scrub down the house tomorrow. Hopefully everyone around here will be in a better mood. =D

Curious about butter

Thanks for the comments. Now I have a couple other questions for you that I'd love a response on!

1) What is the deal with the spray butter?

I mean, if you believe the nutrition info, it is pretty much nothing...and yet...it still tastes like butter. I like the stuff a lot, but I read a long, long time ago that this stuff was a little too good to be true. Anyone have any information on hidden calories or fats?

2) What is a good thing to do with spinach? No, feeding it to a bunny rabbit is not an option. I bought some at the store and now I'm kind of just pondering what to do with it. I ate some rolled up in turkey lunch meat for lunch today and that was pretty good, but there has to be some fun interesting way to slip it into my meals. One rule, I'd like fairly healthy recipes AND I hate vinegar. I know, I know...for some of you out there reading that I've probably just sinned against everything you and your nation stands for ...hehe...but it is the truth. It is definitely a developed taste that I have yet to develop.

Thanks for all the help!

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I know this might sound odd, but what am I doing wrong?!?! I feel like I'm eating a lot of food. The amount of food I'm eating definitely fills me up, but I'm really struggling to get to 1200 calories. I think tomorrow I'll eat another egg at breakfast --but that is only an additional 30 calories-- and maybe I'll try to drink a glass of milk with my snack instead of water, but I still feel like I need more calories. I literally forced myself into eating the first two snacks. Of course, I didn't have to force myself into eating the McDonald's cone. *giggles*

I may be "off" on the calorie count for the fruit and veggies. I took the stats from sparkpeople, but it is for a 1/2 cup serving. I think I should be fairly accurate, plus or minus 50 calories. Which, I guess doesn't make me too far off of the 1200 goal. I'm just really frustrated at the moment.

Breakfast
Egg Beaters 1/2 cup (2 eggs)
Calories: 60 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 12
V-8 Fruit fusion strawberry banana 8oz
Calories: 120 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 1

Snack
Quaker Oats Strawberry snack bites
Calories: 130 Fat: 2.5 Fiber: 2 Protein: 1

Lunch:
Spinach Artichoke bites (3)
Calories: 190 Fat: 10 Fiber: 2 Protein: 9
Boca Burger
Calories: 90 Fat: 3 Fiber: 3 Protein: 14
Fat Free American Cheese Slice
Calories: 30 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 5
Diet coke

Snack:
Small Granny Smith Apple
Calories: 40 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0

Dinner:
Shish-ka-bobs! (1 sausage link, 1/2 onion, 1/4 green pepper, 1 pear)
Sausage
Calories: 110 Fat: 4.5 Fiber: 0 Protein: 15
Pear
Calories: 50 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0
Green Pepper
Calories: 20 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0
Onion
Calories: 30 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0

Snack:
McDonalds Ice Cream Cone
Calories: 150 Fat: 3.5 Fiber: 0 Protein: 4

Totals:
980 Calories
23.5g Fat
10 Fiber (with fiber pills added in)
51g protein

Spinach Artichoke Veggie Bites

So I went to the store and looked over the Morning Star foods available to me. Honestly, the grocery I shop at down here is pretty small in comparison to those I shop at in Kansas City. The selection wasn't that large, but I decided that the Spinach Artichoke bites didn't sound too frightening. After all, I like spinach artichoke dip, so this would be about the same thing, right?

hehe. WRONG! But I wasn't wrong in a bad way. When I took them out of th box, they looked a lot like chicken nuggets to me. I chose to cook them in the oven because I've always enjoyed anything with breading to get that extra crunch. I wasn't too thrilled with the fact that these small little nuggets had to cook for 16 to 18 minutes, but I patiently waited for them to be done.

When I bit down on the first one, for some reason I was sure I was going to encounter spinach artichoke dip inside. Needless to say, I was a tad disappointed. Seeing as spinach artichoke dip contains yummy cheese in mass quantities, it probably isn't as good for me as these bites. After busting through that mental image, I went on to take another bite. The nuggets are stuffed with spinach, (I'm talking, you bite down and are greeted with green shredded spinach trying to escape its crunchy breaded outsides) but I didn't see that much artichoke. The taste isn't bad at all. It doesn't have a strong spinach flavor, in fact, I couldn't tell you what type of flavor these things have! I'll be the first person to admit that I am a very, VERY picky eater. In the past, if it was green, it wasn't coming near me. But I will buy these again.

I could see trying to feed these to an amaeture veggie eater --like a kid or a picky adult-- If you can get them past the idea that what they are biting into is green, I think the taste will have the picky person eating up the rest of the nugget. One caution, as these started to cool, I didn't think they were nearly so good. Definitely the last part of the meal that needs to be cooked. One other down side, I thought they were awfully high in fat. I think artichoke is naturally high in fat, and there is some cheese inside, so those two things combined with the breading probably are the cause.

Serving size: 3 pieces
Calories: 190
Fat: 10g
Fiber: 2
Protein: 9

Boca Burger, what are you?

So, I had my first Boca Burger today. As I've said before, I am from the midwest, so beef has been around me my whole life. No seriously! Every school I went to up to college had a cow farm right next door. =0p Anyway, with a tiny bit of nervousness, I cracked open the package and took my first peak inside. First off, let me say that I LOVE the fact that patties were individually wrapped. How smart! This way I'm not trying to eat an entire package of hamburgers in a week just to avoid freezer burn. My second thought upon seeing the patty was that it was a bit small. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but it just seemed little to me. I chose to fry my burger in a skillet. Mostly because I was lazy and didn't want to go outside and fire up the grill for one burger. The patty turned out really easy to cook. It went from being frozen to cooked in no time AND great thing about this particular burger, it didn't shrink down. I think I've been cooking beef so long I just expected the slightly small patty to turn tiny after adding in a little heat. Not so with this burger. I put the burger on my plate with a slice of non-fat american cheese on top, fished my corn on the cob out of the boiling water and sat down to my first boca burger.

Hmmm....I'll be honest and tell you exactly what I expected this burger to taste like. I thought it would be much like the burgers that school used to serve. We used to make fun of them because the beef was "cut" with soy to make them cheaper. Hmm...I wonder if that is still true now that soy products have gotten to be so popular. Anyway, I digress. The burger wasn't anything like that. It had kind of a squishy texture, not at all like meat. Generally I would say that disgusted me, but somehow, for some reason, the boca burger didn't offend. Now, I wouldn't say it tasted like a hamburger exactly. Nor would I try to "pull a fast one" on friends of family members and try to switch a real beef burger with a boca, but I am definitely okay with the idea of incorporating this food into my weekly meal plan.

As I check out Boca's site I notice that I had the All American Flame Grilled version of the boca burger which has cheese listed in its ingredients --just a warning if anyone is trying to walk down the vegan path.

Overall and final thoughts: A very quick, very easy option for protein. I wouldn't eat it on a day that I was "starving" or I'd go ahead and cook two patties. But I really enjoyed this change of pace --said with the caveat that this is not your "normal" burger experience.

All American Flame Grilled Burger stats:

90 Calories

3g Fat

3g Fiber

14g protein

Know of any other products I should try? As long as I can find it at a local grocery or health food store, I'll give it a try and report back here. Of course, there are some restrictions considering I'm a broke college kid, but I'm willing to give any product at least one try. I'll report back my thoughts here. If you have additional questions about a product I tried and reviewed, post a comment and I'll try to get back with you as soon as possible.

These are just my thoughts/feelings about a product and should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm not you and you aren't me, so maybe you'll like something that I don't =0) I'm just doing this to try to spice up my food options and reinterest myself in losing weight.

Have you given up on me yet?

I've noticed that I've gone from posting every day to every-other-day. That kind of saddens me. I think the lack of posts goes along with my lack of weightloss though. The scale isn't moving. I haven't gained back the approx. 10 pounds that I've taken off, but I sure haven't added to that number either. It is disheartening in a way.

My boyfriend keeps telling me, "if you've stopped losing, you have to (1) burn more calories or (2) eat fewer calories. Well, needless to say after all our time together, he knows that option 2 isn't really going to work for me. I actually struggle to get 1200 calories in a day. I don't generally eat when I get bored, instead, I grab a book (yay for trashy-romance novels!! Nora Roberts, you are my hero! *giggles*) and don't eat for an entire day. I know, not healthy, but food seems like a major nusicance when you are only cooking for yourself. I've really been working on hitting 1200 calories a day though because actually eating more is what got rid of those initial 10 pounds. Now that I have that part of the "weightloss journey" almost nailed down, I guess it is time to start getting serious about burning some calories.

So, for the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to get my b/f to come down and show me how to work out at the gym. LoL. I briefly worked out in a gym before, but he literally tailored the workout for me. He told me what machine to use, when to use it, and how many reps to do. He was my own personal trainer! Of course, I got in trouble and quite a few fights started because we have different workout philosophies. So different in fact, I was actually banned from working out with his mom (on the few occasions she worked out at home with us). That is basically because I figure a constant stream of good giggles makes the aches and pains of the work out much less noticable. The boyfriend, on the other hand, is a very serious person when he steps into the gym. Hehe. So, working out together might not be too good of an idea on a daily basis...but I would really love for him to show me around this new gym AND make sure I'm using all the machines right. Because honestly, just going off the little pictures printed on the side of the machine, that is dangerous!! I hurt myself trying to chew gum and walk at the same time! How can I be expected to operate those strange torture devices?!?!?!?

I've got a funeral to go to on Friday or Saturday. I have really mixed feelings about going to the service. I actually met this family member, and I do remember her, but there was no deep connection between us. The mixed feelings actually come from the fact that my dad called me today and said, "there will be a funeral you need to go to this week" Now, I come from a large family. I have lots of siblings, but somewhere along the line my parents have chosen me as the "family ambassador" That means, if there is a funeral, I'm nominated to go (with one of my parents). If there is a family "emergency" I'm the one that is supposed to talk to the rest of the family to let them know what is going on. If someone needs a babysitter or a ride, it is almost always "Oh, VegasGirl can do it for you. I'm sure she won't mind" Now, in some ways I look at this as an honor. Truethfully, most of my siblings don't chat with eachother more than on holidays and I generally talk with everyone at least once or twice a month. I've really worked to open up those relationships, so I can understand why I am chosen to go out to represent the family. BUT --always a but =0) -- in other ways it is a major inconvenience. I had plans for this Friday. My boyfriend took off of work this Friday, so this won't only be ruining my plans. *sigh* I know I'm being ungrateful and selfish. I'm not the person that died. (always a plus!) But darn it!! I hate the fact that I will be the family member there this Friday and that it is expected of me. I think that is the part that I hate the most. It is expected whereas I am sure none of my other siblings have even been informed. I have fond memories of this aunt, but I haven't seen her for at least 10 years, probably 15.

I don't know when my next post will be. Sorry for those of you that stop by on a daily basis. I'll try to make 100% sure I post next Monday. **hugs** Until then!

Monday

Can you see the pictures? I keep getting an error message why I try to post.
">"

Well, what can I say? Today was just another ordinary day. So, to spice this post up a little bit, I decided to slap in some photos. Maybe they will distract you from the very little that is going on in my world. Speaking of spicing things up, blogger hates me when I try to put in photos. Sorry, I shrank these down and chose "small" but they are still huge. Hope they don't screw up anyone's PC too badly.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about whether or not I want to move out of Missouri. I'm getting fairly close to completing my Masters degree now, so I need to be doing a little bit of planning for the future. I've always thought I'd move away. I've always dreamed of living somewhere other than here, but as the time approaches for me to really make that decision, I find myself thinking about all the things in Missouri that I'll miss. Being able to drive an hour and go out into the country will be one of those things.

I spent a lot of time in my garden today. Just hanging around outside. As awful and cloudy as the sky looks in the pictures, it never even sprinkled on me. Oh yeah, speaking of the pictures....sorry that they are a little bit blurry. they were taken while I was driving and through my windshield, so the picture quality is a bit interesting. But I still think they will give you the idea of how nice it is to be in the country =0)

I'm off to bed. **hugs** Have a great day everyone!

Breakfast: Chex 100 calorie pack (strawberry) and a diet coke

Lunch: 1/2 Goodcents sub and a diet coke

Dinner: Fish sticks TV dinner meal and 1 liter of water

Tomorrow: Grocery store!!!

Back!....again!

All right, I'm back, again! hehe. The fishing trip was great fun. We couldn't have asked for better weather. It was about 75 degrees outside with a lovely wind blowing over the water. When we go fishing with my dad, we don't bank fish. We actually stand in the water. The place we go is someplace he used to go as a kid (near his uncle's farm) so I think it is a really great time for him as well as us.

I didn't catch very many big fish, most of mine were throw-back size (1 lb or smaller), but dad and the little sister caught a huge mess of fishies. Everytime I put my line out in the water, my dad or my lil sis was hollering for a net. I've never seen such big catfish coming out of the water! Normally I'd be really competitive and upset that I hadn't caught anything, however, I don't know if being older has mellowed me out, or if I just really needed the time outside away from the city, but I was completely okay with just sitting on a rock in the middle of the river just listening to the noises around me. *takes a deep breath* It was a much needed body/mind/soul relaxing trip.

As a side note, we used the coppertone sport spray sunblock and that stuff is yucky! My boyfriend said it was because we chose the "no rub sport" formula....but it looked like we'd sprayed hairspray on ourselves. I was so sticky and shiny!! I don't think I'll ever buy that particular formula again.

I haven't been tracking my food very much lately. Since I was in town on the fishing trip with dad, we ate McDonalds twice in one day. *gasp* I know, awful!!! What is worse, I enjoyed it, but couldn't help myself from looking at the fat content. Since I ate there twice in one day, I'm almost guessing I had something like 60g of fat in one day...maybe more. *shakes head* Incredible.

The scale says I'm 183.6 this morning. So, I'm pretty sure that is overall a loss for me. I've really got to figure out some way to track my weight. I know it is still down from the orginal starting weight of 198, so I'm happy for now.

Have an awesome weekend everyone. I'm thinking, I may even go work out this weekend. *gasp* what will they do when they see me at the gym?!?! Probably faint!

Back...

I'm back!!!!!! And I caught a fish THIS BIG!! hehe. Literally, that big and about that color too. hehe. I'll write more later. But for now, I need to mow the lawn before the rain starts coming down.

Hello....

Hiya fellow bloggers! For those of you that stop by here often, sorry I haven't been writing much. I've had a major case of "the lazys" here lately. It all stems from that evil car out in my garage demanding an oil change! Okay, that and the weather hasn't helped much lately. It has been almost non-stop rain here all week long. Bleh! It is kind of funny actually because even though the sun has been shining, the rain is still coming down. LoL.

So, I chose not to weigh myself this week. I don't think it has been a particularly bad week, nor has it been a good week for me. The rain has kept me inside, so I haven't been doing much excercise, but I have been trying to eat fairly well. I find myself wondering about foods that are prepackaged. Wondering how many calories/fat/protein/fiber they come out to be. My mom sent me with a ziplock bag of roast this week. Which was awesome, because it gave me quick and easy meals...but I have no real idea what I was consuming. that bothered me a little bit. I tried looking it up online a few different places, but even though they had approx. calorie intake, I still wasn't really satisfied with their stats.

Speaking of stats, since I live alone for the summer, I put this up on my fridge. Everytime I go into the kitchen I am reminded how much I've eaten that day. It is helping me keep my calorie count up where it belongs. I've found myself doing a lot more little snacks in between meals. Mostly, I have kept it healthy. Bananas, quaker snacks, jello cups, and other yummy treats like that. Along with the snack, I'm really trying to drink at least a 1/2 liter of water. That way the snack is more filling and I get my water requirement in for the day. Unfortunately, drinking so much water really has me doing the potty dance.

I'm off for the weekend. Have a wonderful time everyone! =D I'll be sure to get back to blogging and leaving messages for everyone on Wednesday. Yes, I said Wednesday because Tuesday I'm Gone Fishing! As long as this rain stuff doesn't ruin the fun!

Slap me on the ...

Random thought: Does anyone in the Kansas City area do NS and enjoy the shakes/bars? My b/f has tons of them and he hates them. We'd be excited to work out some sort of exchange or just to open the lines of communication. =D

All right...slap me on the wrist and call me a bad girl cause I didn't get my oil changed. *sigh* (and I'd like to make a special note to all you freaky-people out there, I said WRIST! hehe) I know it is bad, but I'll do it tomorrow? I promise??

This weekend was lots of eating out and drama. My b/f's mom and dad put on a big memorial day party which every year I try to wiggle out of =) It isn't that I don't like the b/f's family, it is that I don't like them in large quantities. One-on-one they are all really great people, but throw me into a crowd of them and I just feel like a fish out of water. hehe. I guess that's why I can't get my b/f to come over to my family gatherings. I should make a mental note of that realization so the next time I'm bitching at him for not interacting with my family I remember why. Oh, screw that!!! I see his parents on a weekly basis and he has seen mine maybe 20 times in the seven years that we've been dating. He is due for a couple of uncomfortable family gatherings =0p

Yeah, so, anyway.....this weekend was pretty bad for eating. I didn't really feel like we were doing that badly, but the memorial day picnic caught me with my hand in the cookie jar more than once. Then, being the sweet, romantic guy that he is, my boyfriend made me a huge plate of bananas foster (I added a link for those of you that don't know what this yum-yum is )--YUM!-- but definitely not on the diet plan. At this point, I kind of feel like I've gained back everything that I lost (and if you believe the scale, I almost have!). I'm going to try to be really "good" this week and stay on track with my food. Unfortunately, it is supposed to rain everyday this week so going out walking may be hard to accomplish. Maybe I can get out earlier in the mornings and walk before it has warmed up enough to produce thunderstorms.

I'm going to go clean up my car so I can be ready bright and early tomorrow morning to go get my oil changed *groans*

Things I hate...

So...one of the number one things I hate to do is go and get my oil changed. I don't know why, it isn't "that" big of a deal once I go and get it done, but the process leading up to it is always awful for me. I've been saying that I'll go and get it done for weeks now. I check my oil regularly in my car to make sure I have enough, but everytime I pull up that little dipstick and see how black the oil is I know I needed to have it done weeks ago. Ugh!! I just hate it, hate it, HATE IT! Anyway, that is on my list of things to do today. Go get my stinkin' oil changed. *sigh* I think one of the things that kind of ticks me off about it is my little sis and I both drove home several weeks ago. We both slept late and when we woke up, Dad had taken her car in and had it changed --but not mine! Grrr! He is always coming over taking over projects I could have done on my own (like mowing the grass, or pouring drain cleaner down a drain) but when it comes to the one thing I wouldn't mind him doing for me, he just ignores my hints =0p

Yesterday I was bad. It was raining so I didn't go walking. I cooked some hamburger helper stuff for lunch and somehow misread the serving size. I thought it said that it was 3 servings, so I ate a bunch thinking about how awesome it was to get to eat that much food and not go over the calories limit. Yeah, later, after my tummy stopped hurting ( I swear sometimes I'm like a bad puppy that just won't stop eating) I went back and re-checked the box. It was 5 servings, so I must have eaten at least 2. *holds belly and groans* So much for that weight loss this week.

For those of you out there saying that doubling up on one meal couldn't be that bad....yeah, well, the reason I didn't post Wednesday was because I drove up to the city to clean my almost MIL's house. It took about 5 hours to get everything scrubbed down and I was feeling pretty good about the progress I made, but when the b/f came home he walked around a little bit and said "What happened to you cleaning this place?" *sigh* I almost kicked him. hehe. He went around rearranging my stacks saying that it didn't look like I'd picked up anything. What an ass! Honestly, he made a good point when he said he'd lived with his mother, he knew what she expected of a "clean house" but I was still slightly irked with him. He offered to take me out to eat, because he had a lot to do that night and because I was kind of cranky at that point. It was on the tip of my tongue to say "no" when he dropped the name of the favorite restaurant. *Sigh* Two days in a row of being bad, even if the second day was stupid and unintentional. I'm really going to have to resolve to be better next week. I've got to do something or I'm going to start packing the pounds back on instead of getting rid of them.

Speaking of which, I forgot to weigh myself first thing this morning, so I guess I'll once again push the weekly weigh in. At this rate, it is going to be a monthly weigh in before long =0p

Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay "Look at the stars,Look how they shine for you,And everything you do,Yeah they were all yellow" You're so in love, it's like a drug.

What Love Song Are You?

Yeah, I know the link doesn't work. It always says I have an error when I cut and paste in html links. So, for a proper link, visit Annieann77 that's where I got this from =)

One of those days....

So, it has been "one of those days" today. However, instead of being one of those days where the world conspired against me, it was one of those days where everything I did was "on". *giggles* It was a good food day and I went walking. Yay! I know this is going to sound/read absolutely ridiculous, but I am so excited and proud of myself for staying on track. hehe. When my b/f called tonight, I could wait to tell him. The last couple of weeks I haven't met my goal of losing 2 pounds, but today, I really feel like I put myself on track to meet my 2 pound weight loss goal for the week. I really hope tomorrow I can stick with the food program and do it again.

Other than the food, today wasn't all that exciting for me. It rained really hard early this morning and that really hurt the pepper plants I have planted in my garden. A couple of plants lost some of their leaves, so I hope they can bounce back. Missouri is pretty notorious for having violent/hard thunderstorms, so I'm not holding out a lot of hope for my garden; however, I would really love to be able to go outside and pick a couple green pepper this summer.

Most of my day was spent cleaning up around the house. I made the mistake early on in the day to flip on the TV. I landed on the Bravo channel and ended up watching a marathon of The Biggest Loser. I was sitting there watching the show thinking how amazing it was that these 300 and 400 pound people decided to make a lifestyle change when they started flashing some of the beginning weights of the female contestants. I'm not kidding you, my jaw hit the floor. After trying to fool myself a little longer into believing that I wasn't "that" overweight, I faced up to reality and both comprehended and digested the fact that some of the women on the show weighed almost as much as I did. Now, it didn't say how tall the girls were, but I'm figuring that we were pretty similar. Then I started wondering what I actually looked like. That may sound kind of odd, but I have this mental picture of myself and sometimes I wonder if that doesn't completely alter what I see when I look into the mirror. I don't think I look *that* overweight. Honestly, I don't have *that* much of an issue with my weight --it is the rest of the world pushing me to be skinnier. However, maybe the reason I don't have a problem with my weight is the fact that I'm not seeing what the outside world sees. I have fooled myself into believing that I am okay, when I am not. *sigh* My "healthy" body weight is supposed to be 130 (at the highest), but right now I've decided to set my goal at 150. Once I reach that goal, I will re-think how I feel.

So, as I am sweeping the floor, planning dinner, and being oh so guilty of watching a marathon of Biggest Loser, my doorbell rings. I know automatically that it has to be my neighbor again. Nobody ever comes over to my house!! I answered the door and yes, it was my neighbor asking me if I wanted to join her for another walk. I'm still a little....hmm, let's go with the technical term "weirded out"....weirded out by the sudden onset of friendliness from my neighbor. She seems to be a genuinely nice person, but it still seems odd to me that a woman that is at least 20 years older than me (that is being nice, and underestimating by probably 10 years) has suddenly decided that we should become friends. This time her friend walked with us and I got to mostly listen in on their conversation as they walked. It turns out that they are friends from church, and it seems whatever church that happens to be is highly conservative (yeah, I live in the Bible Belt. No big surprise there!). Also, attached to that highly conservative mindset is a conservative political view. Now, I've heard the quote that goes something like, "If you have a heart, you are a democrat when you are young and if you have a mind, you are a republican when you are old" but that seems like two major strikes against us having a friendly relationship. hehe.

Never talk about religion or politics because those two subjects will get you in worlds of trouble --a general philosophy of mine. Now, these two older ladies are talking about both and I'm just trying to bite back my tongue. The only time I chose to really pipe in with an opinion was when my neighbor said she'd confiscated her son's MP3 player to check out what kind of music he was listening to. Apparently, something on the player didn't sit well with her because she had deleted the song and told him it was vulgar. Her son is almost 15 --of course he is going to think about sex! But, according to her, that was unacceptable behavior. Hmmm....she better have a conference call with her higher power because note to the world: 15 year old boys think about "dirty things". hehe. I phrased it a lot nicer than that to her, but I did pose the question, "when will it be okay for him to listen to that song?" Her answer, "never". Looks like she'll be living with her son for a long, long, LONG time =0p

I very much believe in parents PARENTING their children, but I also believe there has to be some point where the child is able to make decisions on their own. Who knows, someday when I have children I may be demanding to hear their music and deeming it too "vulgar" to listen to, but until that day comes, I think I'm going to have a hard time not disagreeing with that particular parenting decision. Oh well, at least I got to get in 1.5 miles of walking =)

A little chat with the neighbor....

So, today has been another one of those days where I got very little done. *Sigh* I have agreedd to clean my b/f's mom's house for their annual Memorial Day Picnic. Knowing that I agreed to have the house cleaned before Sunday, I decided to do a little preemptive cleaning today. I scrubbed out the bathtub really well and dusted all the furniture. I also swept the floor, but since they have a dog living in the house, I know the clean floor probably didn't last the entire day, much less until Sunday =0p After cleaning up a little, I jumped into my car and headed back down to school (an hour away from the b/f's place).

I was feeling hot and sweaty by the time I made it back down to school (it is has been warm here and I didn't want to burn the extra gas to turn on my AC), but I decided to run down to my mailbox real quick before heading inside to take a shower. Well, long story shortened, my neighbor --who I haven't said more than 2 words to since she moved in 6 months ago -- asked me over to chat for a little while. I was so shocked that I went over and we ended up chatting for a little over 2 hours. She did most of the talking, and there were several times I just kept thinking "I wish I was doing something else right now" but it was kind of neat to get to talk to my neighbor. It was just such an odd, random experience. She told me that she and a friend often walked at night around our neighborhood, and when I expressed interest in their route, she invited me along. I said I'd love to come along sometime, but that I had to go. I grabbed my mail and headed home to shower and cook some dinner.

Well, in the middle of dinner, my doorbell rang. She was at the door and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her for a walk. Since I'd just said I would go not two hours ago, I told her I'd come over after I finished eating. I did go over and we walked almost 2 miles together. I'm glad that we went walking, but I'm still a little confused about what sparked the whole experience. hehe. She said she might come over again tomorrow, if that is the case, I guess I better decide whether I'm going to eat dinner earlier or later than normal. =0)

I didn't remember to weigh myself last Friday and now, after having a weekend full of bad food, I'm a little afraid to do it. So, for now, I think I'm going to just pretend that I don't need to weigh myself. I'm going to work extra hard this week to drop a couple of pounds. If the neighbor does decide to come back over for another walk that would be a great step towards dropping weight this week.

Time to put me to bed. Night night! =)

*Yawns*

I'll be back later. =) I woke up early to do a favor for the b/f that is out of town. Favor accomplished, I'm going back to bed. Tee hee. Napping by 9am is great. Gotta love college!

Well....you know those days that you just
accomplish nothing worthwhile? Yeah, that
was today for me. I was supposed to work on
my garden which is brand new. *giggles* I'm
really looking forward to having one, but I have
a black thumb. Oh well, this is my brand new garden.

hehe. Yeah, as you can probably see, not much of a garden yet. =0) So far my plan is to plant some green peppers, carrots, basil, oregeno, rosemary, mint, maybe some chile peppers. I dunno what else I'll put out there. I have my doubts that any of it will grow, but the idea amuses me.

Hmm....what else did I do today? I really didn't feel like doing anything today and I hoped that leaving the house would help me get motivated to do, well, anything! I went to the $1 Store because right now, that is the only store in my price range. hehe. I have something to admit here....it is a very guilty admission...I LOVE the $1 Store. It is so much fun! If I ever won the lottery, I think I could spend millions on useless junk. Today's useless junk that I bought...poker chips, magnets, and super glue.

Don't notice the dirty fridge =0p

Yeah, the formatting on this post is going crazy. Apparently I'm not adding in pictures correctly or maybe my computer just hates me today. I dunno, but check out those magnets!! *giggles*

I've got another issue I'd like some insight on. I know why I didn't feel like doing anything. Yes, being lazy does add into that somewhat; however, most of the problem is not having a schedule. I don't technically *have* to do anything because I'm out of classes for the summer. I should be doing stuff, but I don't have an enforcement policy, so I get lazy. So, here is my problem. I'm really having trouble eating enough since I'm not scheduled. I'm not doing anything (other than beign lazy) so I'm not hungry, so on days like today, I find myself sitting around at 5pm having not eaten anything. I come to a new resolve after days like this to make sure I start a schedule, but I won't. I'm awful like that. I just can't keep track of time. Honestly, when I am in classes, I'm really bad about keeping time too. Think Absent Minded Professor. hehe.

Anyway, any suggestions on how to get all the calories/food groups I need in a day?

Another mixed up week

I peaked at my weight today and it was WAY up from where it has been. I'm not quite sure what I've been doing differently, but I'm going to try really hard to eat a breakfast and get up earlier in the day. I wonder if sleeping in hasn't been hurting my weightloss goals.

Today I did an old workout video. It was a cindy crawford video that I got and did once in college. hehe. It kicked my ass, especially my arms. Right now as I type this, I can feel my muscles quivering. LoL. What a weird feeling. My left shoulder is really hurting. It has been a chronic problem for me since high school, so I hope I didn't push it too hard.

I signed up for a library card at the local library today. I was wanting to look up that book, or the book on tape, The Secret, but apparently they don't have it? Did I screw up the name? I picked up a couple of recipe books because I'm getting a little tired of my own cooking and I didn't find any recipes that really interested me. If anyone out there has a cool recipe, send it my way =) I'd really appreciate it. One of the books I picked up was a weight watchers title, it looked old, but I gave it a try. I couldn't believe how much fat was in the recipes!! I'm not doing any particular type of weight loss program, just trying to cut fat (I'm in love with cheese) and somewhat cut the carbs (love the mac and cheese!) which pretty much has me eating more proteins, vegetables, and fruit. Problem is, green veggies have a tendenacy to make my belly hurt really badly =0/

I'm curious if anyone out there uses weight loss supplements. I've heard a lot about hoodia, green tea, etc. and I wonder if anyone has testimonials about a product. I know there is no "easy way" to loose weight, but any help is good =)

Okay, I'm going out of town to visit my boyfriend tomorrow, so I'm not sure if I'll blog. He is going out of town on a business trip this week so I think I'll pop in to spend a little extra time with him tomorrow night. Have a great Wednesday =0)

Breakfast: Nature Valley Cereal
Lunch: Leftovers! 2 tortillas, 1/2 grilled chicken breast, 1/2 slice of cheese, salsa
Dinner: TV dinner >.<>
Snack: Celery stalk with hot sauce --celery with peanut butter (peanut butter is yummy! but it is SOOOOOOOOOOO addictive and bad for you!)

Umm...yeah, I need recipes/ideas on ways to eat celery too. I really thought I'd enjoy it with hot sauce (cause I love it when buffalo chicken is served along side of celery) but that didn't work out so much for me. Once again, ideas are truely appreciated.

I got my ass kicked...

...by a 91 year old woman. Yes, ladies and gentlemen meet Olive. A 91 year old woman that beat my time in Saturday's 5k race. Now, I'm not going to point fingers here and call her a cheat, but I SWEAR I never saw her pass us on the race course. hehe. We (my boyfriend and a friend of his from work) passed her in the very beginning of the race and made a solemn vow to at least finish the race before her, alas, it was not to be. This amazing woman completed the race with a time of 47minutes and 48 seconds while I completed the race in 55minutes and 36 seconds. *sigh* So disappointing to have your butt soundly kicked by someone so much older. hehe.

For this race, my boyfriend brought along a friend from work. At first I was really excited because she walked at a much slower pace than the b/f generally makes me walk, but at the end of the race I was a little bit disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I broke a sweat while walking, but I know I could have gone faster. I really want to complete one of these races in under 50 minutes. To actually compete with people in my age group, I would have to finish a race in under 40 minutes, but for right now, 50 minutes is my goal. I should be able to do that EASY. I'm going to start training for it this week. I'm really going to try to get out there and try to walk at least 2 to 3 miles every night. We'll see if I get off my lazy butt to do it.

Running late

As always, I'm running late so I'm going to try to make this post pretty short and sweet.

I lost one pound this week. While I'm happy I lost and didn't gain, I didn't make my goal of 2 pounds a week. That means next week I'm going to have to work really hard. My goals for next week:
1. Walk 3 miles
2. Eat healthy
3. Lose 2-3 pounds
4. Do my arm work out at least 3 times
5. Go to the gym at least 3 times.

This weekend I'm doing another 3k walk with my boyfriend. This time he is bringing along a friend from work which is kind of exciting. She is supposedly a slow walker (yay!!) so this walk is supposedly going to be easier than the last =0p I've really got to start training myself for these 3ks. I think even though my goal is to walk 3 miles next week, I'm going to try to walk at least 3 miles on one of those days. I think the tredmills should have a 3k setting on them. That would be awesome. hehe.

*hugs* See ya'll next week! Wish me luck on my walk =D