Thank you

I just wanted to shoot off a "thank you" for answering my questions to Dietcoke. I really do appreciate it.

Weight Watchers has taught me two things. One, I'm very food possessive. Probably comes from living in a house with 5 other siblings. When dinner was ready, you didn't want to be at the end of the passing-around-bowls chain or you got less than everyone else. Never was good to have a mean sibling ahead of you, one that knew a dish was your favorite so they'd take more and leave you with less. The second thing it has taught me was that I need to stay aware of what is going into my mouth. I'm pretty bad about going for the "easy" food. I eat TV dinners and such all the time. Problem with that is they aren't all that filling and the "cheapest" one I eat, or the one I thought would be the best for me, is 13 points. Only getting 25 points a day (probably should be 24 now!) and blowing 13 on a lunch that isn't satisfying is just plain crazy.

The weather here has been kind of nasty. Very cold and snowing. I think yesterday it warmed up to a balmy 13F. *shivers* So I haven't been making the journey to the gym very well. I have been trying very hard to follow the WW scale and so has the fiance. It is definitely working for now! I'm down to 176 pounds as of this morning and my personal scale. I'd like to swing by the gym just to see if it is about the same as my scale, because last time I weighed in there, about two weeks ago, it said I was 183.

When I do head back to the gym, I'll bring back my measurements. They were all down pretty much last time except for my chest. Don't know how, but he seemed to think I'd gained back the 1/2 inch I'd lost. Only funny because I wear the exact same clothes on weigh in days just to make sure clothings isn't giving me a little extra boost. Oh well, of all the place to maintain and/or gain weight those are probably the best.

*hugs*

Help Please!

I need help please! My fiance and I have been talking about doing weight watchers. His momma has done the program and when she was on it, she lots almost 50 pounds. So, I have a couple of questions.

We have all her old paper work --to check the points of foods, calculate excersise, etc. What I need help with is answering a couple of questions, and maybe just a little advice. So, if you can help with any of these questions I'd really appreciate it.

Question 1: I get 24 points a day --Fiance gets 41 points per day. How exactly are we supposed to eat together if he has almost an additional 20 points! I know he is supposed to have "more" food than me, but that seems like a lot of extra. To be honest, I'm almost jealous!

Question 2: I read about the difference between the flex plan and the core plan. I think the flex plan would be the best to start with --making sure we actually count the calories of what we eat. My question is --does anyone have suggestions as to what made the individual programs work better for them?

Question 3: Anyone have recipes? I'd reall love to see some of them posted. Or, do you know a website that has lots of recipes added to it?

Question 4: Real life, or online subscription?

I'm sure I'll have more questions as the program goes on --we haven't actually started it yet, just starting to read about it now. I appreciate any and all help =)

Must go back...to the gym!

hehe. Instead of going back to the gym, I went on vacation! It was an impromptu visit to Hartford, CT. How fun! I got to try lots of yummy seafood (that we don't get here in the midwest) and see some fun sites. We spent an entire day hanging out in Boston and I finally got to see the ocean (my first time ever!). All in all, a fun time was had...but I am dreading going back to the gym. I don't physically "feel" like I"ve put tons of weight back on (eating fast food and pizza for a week has to have done something though) but my fiance keeps moaning that he is sure he gained 20 pounds. Oh well, what is done is done --I had a great time and I'm sitting here in my "gym clothes" as I type. Must go back...

Must go back!

Hehe...so it has been awhile since I posted. Nothing like saying "I'll be right back" and having all hell break loose. =0p Old measurements are in red, new ones in blue!
Old
Bust: 41.5
Waist: 40
Hips: 45
Thighs: 23.5
Arms: 13.25

New
Bust: 41
Waist: 39.5
Hips: 45
Thighs: 22.5
Arms: 13

Okay, not a huge difference, but there was a difference there! Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure that difference will remain viasable. I seemed to have taken the last 2 weeks off of working out >.< struggling ="0p">

The house has been going slow. We bought all the paint, just haven't put it on the walls. Again, the lack of time to do stuff. We also need to stain the back deck before the patio completely rots away. *sigh* I've been applying out for jobs, but no luck yet.

Will try to make it back here soon. I've been reading blogs, just no time to update my own.

New measurements

The gym I am going to is actually very neat. The "trainers" will ask to meet up with you once a month, or so, and when you do meet they switch up your workout. They re-assess goals, check weight, measurements, etc. So, I made an appointment for my fiance to switch up his workout routine. He was getting bored, so I was happy to do it for him. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I apparently was signing myself up for something new as well. hehe.

Well, we both got re-measured. I'll bring my new measurements home tonight (hopefully! post them tomorrow) The trainer cracked me up. He never knows quite what to do with my fiance and I, since we're always joking around. He always looks a little bit frightened when a joke flies. For example, when he went to take my hip measurement, my fiance looked at me and said "honey, do these pants make my arse look big?" I just groaned because I knew what was coming next. He responded with "babe, those pants don't make your arse look big, your arse makes your arse look big" This joke almost always cracks me up. I've kind of got a big booty. Not too out of proportion with the rest of me, but anway.... The trainer's jaw just hit the floor. He looked back and forth between the two of us until I started busting out laughing. He let out a little nervous chuckle and started backing away slowly. hehe. Poor guy! After a couple more bad jokes were exchanged, he started to loosen up. He revealed that he'd had some bad experiences doing measurements. I guess people had yelled at him in the past for telling the truth about just how big they really were. hehe. What a funny thought. Being mad at a virtual stranger because YOU measure bigger than you think you should. Too funny.

So, part of the check-up is to see how much weight has been lost. I could have killed my fiance at this point because he just HAD to have PizzaHut the night before. Grrr. I hadn't eaten much, but still, I had eaten it! As we started walking towards the scale, I told the trainer I knew how much I weighed and it was exactly what he'd written down last time. He told me that wasn't likely considering we'd been in the gym almost every day for a month --but I was right. LoL. He kept trying to move the numbers, but they were the same. I try not to have the fiance look at mine (even though he does) so I try not to look at him (even though I'll see it on the card at some point) when he is being weighed. I'm fairly sure he'd gone up a pound though. Ha! Silly boy had eaten all the pizza leftovers for lunch! Teach him not to leave me a slice. Mwhaha.

hehe. A long story to tell you I got new measurements =)

Making judgements....

So, I can't help it. I always pre-judge people. LoL. For a girl that isn't slim, trim, or at all on track with the fashion game that should make me feel a bit ashamed, but I think it is just a human trait.

I've been talking to a guy on the internet for about 6 months now. Not a blogger, but another World of Warcraft (WoW) player. He was in town for a convention, so my fiance and I chose to meet up with him. I guess he wasn't exactly what I expected to see. I always think that "gamers" are younger, but I'd guess he was 5-10 years older than us. He seemed nice enough, but a little shy. So here I am reflecting on all that and all I keep thinking of is, "wonder what he thought of us" okay, I'm more self centered than that. I wonder what he thought about me! Did he see?!!? Did he see a "girl-next-door", a "lard-ass", an outgoing personality, or someone shy and withdrawn?!?!

Don't you wish sometimes you could be a fly on the wall after you leave the room. *sigh* It would be such a great trick for meeting new people and interviews. Just my random thought of the day =)

Happy B-day to me!

Hi all --

It was my birthday a couple of days ago and what a great b-day it was! Honestly, I didn't do anything "cool" or "neat", mostly just sat around the house, but for some reason it was very satisfying. I think maybe because I didn't get crazy high-hopes about winning millions of dollars (I like going go Vegas for my b-day) or having everyone in the world stop to wish me a happy day. LoL. I was cool with just hanging out with the fiance, playing video games, and enjoying eachother's company.

We've made up since my last rant. LoL. Sometimes I truely don't understand where he is coming from! Maybe Hamihari is right and this is just "male talk" that begins irritating me, but after our little spat, he has been trying hard to make up. It actually really cracked me up, the otehr night at the gym I was doing the elliptical. He asked what my goal was, when I said 5 minutes, he told me to try to do 5 and 1/2 minutes. LoL. Well, we were on side-by-side machines, so after about 4 and 1/2 minutes, he looked over and said I was 'doing great' and that I all ready looked skinnier. LoL. It cracked me up, I told him that was the kind of positive encouragement I was looking for --even if he was lying through his teeth. A good chuckle kept me on the machine until the 10 minute mark. I doubled my goal (but legs feel like jelly today! LoL)

I agree very much with what DietCokeRocks (Chris) posted. A marriage/relationship really has to thrive on good communication. Actually, I got my degree in communication. LoL. My fiance and I do communicate very differently. When I joke around, a lot of time he hears it as me mocking him. When he jokes around, a lot of time I hear it as mean/hurtful. We've gotten light-years better with eachother by discussing the hurt feelings, and trying to alter/correct our behaviors. It is just every-once-in-awhile we blow up at eachother. We've been living together almost 3 months and hadn't had any type of fight yet....it was bound to happen =0) I like being able to blog out anger. LoL. It helps me see the arguement from another position, almost like a 3rd party. Having other people weigh in helps me a bit too. It is all a game of perspective.

So, just to lend a bit of perspective on my life....

I met my fiance before I started my senior year of high school. He is two years older than me, so he had all ready graduated and started to work full-time. When we met, I was stick skinny. My parents have 5 other children, so we never went out to eat. LoL. I blame the majority of my fat body on making bad decisions in restaurants over the past several years =) I was so busy with school, extra activities, and working (not to mention having a boyfriend) that I weighed no more than 110 pounds. Now, I weight 195 pounds. That is a lot of extra weight to put on! So, I think my fiance still sees a mental image of me at 110 pounds. That's what he wants back. I've told him several times that a girl never gets her 17 year old body back, but yeah....he isn't quite convinced yet. Now, my fiance, has always been "thick" I hate to say overweight, because I don't generally see it as being that, but he'll tell you he is a fat-ass. He has such a negative-connotation of himself, that I honestly think sometimes when he is lecturing me, he is really reflecting on himself. On what he wished others had said or done to motivate him. I continue to let him know that his form of encouragement does not work. He continues to screw up. We continue to have harsh words every 3 months or so --and then we are back to normal. LoL. Probably not the "most" healthy relationship, but as long as we continue to work on it together, talk it over later, and try to make steps in the right direction, I am happy.

When "funny" isn't funny....

So, I'm trying to decide if I over re-acted the other day. I probably did somewhat, but in other ways, I feel completed justified in my response.

Yesterday, I got up at the same time as my fiance. As I've said before, he is the only one that works right now (yay for having a bread winner!), so I packed up a lunch for him and sent him out the door. My sis and her 4 children (4 boys under the age of 4! eek!) wanted to take me out for lunch for my birthday, so I kicked around the house for a little bit, played some computer and then headed towards her house.

When I got to her house, her hubby offered to take care of the youngest boy (turning 1 later this week!) while we went out. So, I had lunch with my sister and nephews (two, two year old twins and a four year old). Lunch with them is always a bit of an adventure, but they are really very well mannered for their age. My sister and I got to have a nice chat in-between offering drinks, dodging unwanted food, and reminding the children to use their "inside voices". It was a good time, but I was tuckered after all that play.

My mother-in-law to be has been having a bad time at work lately. She just hasn't been enjoying herself at all, so I asked sis if she'd mind stopping by her work real quick to show off the kids. My MIL *loves* small children. She seemed really happy/excited to see them, said it cheered up her day --so I was really happy. Bad thing is, she asked why her son, my fiance, hadn't been over to see them lately. That just breaks my heart! I told her he'd be by soon (lies!) and left.

When I got home, I was tired, but our lawn was out of control. It HAD to be mown! It has been 100 degrees + here lately, so it has been "too hot" to mow, or then it rained for 3 days so it was "too wet" to mow. I decided I better do at least half the yard before my fiance came home from work. So I mowed the front and side yards (I've got to go do the backyard in a few minutes --bleh!) and got inside a few minutes before the fiance phoned to say he was coming home. At this point I was truely tired, but I changed into my workout clothes and waited for him to show up.

We got to the gym and it was more packed than normal. His shoulder has been hurting him, so I suggested he might want to lay off the arm/shoulder/chest weights and he about bit my head off telling me he was an adult and could make his own decisions. So, I went ahead and did the rest of my workout circuit without him. After weights, we always hop on a cardio machine. His machine of choice is the elliptical, but I much rather use the treadmill. I'm just not comfortable enough with "physical movement" yet to really go over the top --and when I do elliptical I can't hardly walk the next day. This is where that whole "up your intensity" speech comes back into play. After 20 minutes of going on the treadmill, he comes over and tells me I'm going to do 5 minutes on the elliptical. First, I'm all ready hot and sweaty at this point. Second, I never like being told what to do. Third, he criticized me for not going fast enough on the treadmill (even though the heart monitor said I was in the right "burning zone". Fourth, and what truely was the "last straw", he Mooed at me. Yes, he made cow noises at me. What a way to motivate an all ready tired girl.

I got on the elliptical, did my 5 minutes and left the gym with him. He lectured me for another 10 minutes in the car about how I wasn't trying hard enough. How I wasn't being a good workout buddy. At this point, I'd had enough. I told him I WAS trying hard and for it all being new to me I thought I was doing a pretty spectacular job. He mooed at me again. I blew up and told him not to make cow noises at me. That it was rude and hurtful. He told me I couldn't take a joke --and the reason I couldn't take a joke was probably because there was a little too much truth in the joke for me. In my mind, I translate that as him saying "you are a cow". I am pissed, I am angry, I am hurt, so I go to explain this to him and he turns up the radio in the car so I can't be heard. I've let him lecture me for 15 minutes and then he turns up the radio when it is my turn to speak. How disrespectful can you get???

*sigh* I'm beginning to think about going to the gym during the day and letting him go by himself at night. If I couldn't feel changes in my body, if I wasn't sore the next day, if I wasn't able to make a muscles appear where previously I couldn't, I might believe that I wasn't pushing hard enough in the gym. I do feel different though, so him saying I'm not trying hard enough is pretty much making me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't like that feeling and I don't want to live in that kind of angry environment.

My favorite part of the story probably isn't the fact that he said that "mooing" at me was a joke (and doing it again even after I said it hurt my feelings). My favorite part is probably the fact that I cooked dinner when we got home and he chose to eat his after I'd finished mine. He also ate his in the other room away from me. As of this morning, he still isn't talking to me. I tried to make nice with him before bed --mind out of the gutter!-- just threw a joke or two out there and let them vanish into the silence. Sometimes I wonder if I'm marrying a man or an 8 year old boy.

*sigh* I finish with the thought that I love him and remembering that our "fighting styles" have never been very good together. He hurt my feelings yesterday --I told him that, I acknowledged it myself --I've forgiven, but not forgotten at this point. I don't want to fight about it anymore though. To me, it feels like I should be the one angry. Funny thing is, he is the one that has choosen to not speak to me. Moral of the story is, sometimes funny just isn't funny

The big question....

So, my fiance finally asked me the "big question" --obviously since I all ready refer to him as the fiance it wasn't about marriage =0p No, he asked me "have you lost any weight?" *sigh* I was honest and said no. He has been encouraging me to "up my intensity" at the gym (something that is more than a little annoying at times) and lecturing me on eating healthier. The concept of the gym, nutrition, and the overall phyisical/mental trasistion required to "get healthy" is a big deal for him. He likes the stuff (more power to him!), but as it is with most things, the doing has been rough. I feel like I am putting effort out there, I just can't decide if it is paying off yet.

The scale is the same weight --but is it just me or are these jeans a little looser than they used to be? Is it just me, or have my thighs shrunk just a little bit? Is my bra fitting just a little bit better? Is my tummy just a tiny bit smaller? I keep trying to look at myself for these changes. Problem is, I see myself every day. I'm not truely sure the changes are there. I think I'm going to take a picture of myself later today to try to get a better objective. I know, only 2 weeks into the whole "gym thing" I can expect miracles, but I do expect something!!!

My fiance's belly has been sick the last couple of days. Not sick "throwing up" but sick not feeling well. Heh, when he described his symptoms to me (feeling bloated, sharp occasional cramps, soreness, feeling drained, etc.) I almost thought he was describing having a period =0p LoL. I thought about saying it out loud, but since I'm not a very nice person when I feel ill, I thought better of it. Anyway, because he wasn't feeling well, he decided to go out and indulge himself. He brought home brownies and cookies. Ugh! If I wasn't going to lose weight before, that sure won't help! I ate a brownie with him last night, and a piece of cookie dough. I'm going to try very hard to let him eat the rest of the pan of brownies on his own. I didn't even *really* enjoy them, so why indulge? The cookie dough on the other hand *drools* --well, cookies are a definite downfall for me. Maybe I'll "up my intensity" at the gym tonight just to not feel too bad about the cookie dough I'll eat later. One piece isn't good --but as long as I avoid eating 5 or 6 I should be okay.

On a bright note, when I flex my arm I can actually feel a muscle now. It it still covered in fat and it isn't very big --but it is there!

********************************************************************************

Lots to think on

So, I've been working out almost 2 weeks now. Why haven't I lost any weight? I mean, even without changing my eating routine, shouldn't I have lost something? No bull-hockey about muscle weighing more, I know it isn't muscle growth stunting weight loss. I'm kind of depressed about it.

The lady at the gym (one of the trainers) said she'd give me some "healthy" recipes to try out. I'm kind of excited, but they have to be "good" for me (a picky eater) and the fiance. I'm willing to try some new stuff, but living on such a tight budget, I hope she adds a lot of bean recipes to the mix =0p Beans are good for you, and cheap!

I'm currently working my getting my Masters degree. I've shared that information before, but what I haven't shared is that I'm totally stuck. I'm tired of school. Which is sad, but it is true. I've been thinking seriously about applying for some jobs. My mom suggested an internship to me today. My thought was "I'll go check it out!" The internship is in the HR office of a hospital. I thought it all sounded good until I checked out the time requirement. It is a 2 year internship! They might as well call it an apprenticeship. LoL. Good news is, interns make $30,000 a year (not "good" money, but nothing to sneeze at). Once you are done interning it has a very high "permanent hiring" rate. Those people generally make $48,000 a year. So, here is the question. Do I put the Masters on the back burner? Do I agree to giving away 2 years of my life? Do I take a job that has never particularly interested me before (HR isn't really where I dreamed I'd go with my life)?

I don't know the answers to those questions yet. One thought is, it can never hurt to get interviewing practice. Another thought is, gosh we could use the money.
*********************************************************************************

1 week in...

Yay! I went an entire week of excersise! I am kind of proud of myself. Especially since at least once the fiance tried to talk me out of it. Right now, we are taking Sundays off to give our body a little rest. Which works out well because that is the day I go to visit my family and attend church.

So, my fiance keeps asking me "is it getting easier" when it comes to lifting weights. After a week, I think I have to say "no" My arms are exceptionally weak it seems. I know it is a growing process, but I worry a bit that I'm not growing at a rate that is exceptable to my fiance. I keep telling him that I am trying, but in my heart of hearts I don't think he believes me. He keeps saying that I have to learn to like going --well, after never in my life wanting to excersise, I have a hard time believing that I'll one day wake up and be eager to go off and do it. It is a means to an end for me. I want to look better, feel better, have more energy, and not look like a mass of dripping flesh when I go to interview for jobs. It is something that *has* to be done --not something that I have to enjoy. I'm not saying that to just be stubborn, I'm just not a very physical person --if I was a physical person, I'd probably never have gotten into this shape in the first place.

If anyone has recipes posted on their blog, or knows a good site for recipes, please let me know =) If I'm getting my "work-out" portion of life into order, I'd like to start working on my diet portion as well.

The hard stuff

So, when you go to the gym and they get out a tape measure, that's the hard stuff. I'm looking at it as a "this tells me where I am" point though. So, on the first day at the gym, this is how I measured. Hopefully in a month, I'll get an update. (one tiny side note --the guy doing the measuring was terrified to touch me. hehe. I think having my fiance in the room made it hard for him to wrap a tape measure around my chest, so I think some of the measurements may be a tiny bit off --but since the same guy will measure me next time, I'm just going to consider that fact my +/- factor. hehe)

Bust: 41.5
Waist: 40
Hips: 45
Thighs: 23.5
Arms: 13.25

Resting Heart Rate: 79 (this is actually high for me. My heart is normally around 72, but as I pointed out to the little F*ck --who I actually like-- he'd just taken my weight. Of course it was a little high! *grumbles*)

Blood Pressure 126/80 (he told me this may be completely un-accurate. I guess the batteries in the machine were dying. Again, that blood pressure isn't "normal" for me. Mine is normally low)

Which bad news to post first --%of body fat? or weight? hehe. *takes a deep breath and remembers this is just a "starting point"

Starting weight: 193
% of Body Fat: 40.8

Today will be my 7th day in a row at the gym. I haven't gotten too adventurous yet. I work out on the machines I was told to use under the supervision of my fiance. He is one of those guys that has been in a gym since football in high school. No, that doesn't necessarily make him "fit" --but he definitely knows what is going on. He likes learning about workout/fitness/nutrition, but much like the rest of us, he is subject to his bad habits.

Every time I go to the gym, I can't help but want to hop on the scale. It is a means of redemption in some ways. A shout out to the world that I am trying to do something. And, the pain in my arms/legs has to be at least equivalent to one pound lost, right? =0p

hiya =)

I am still painting. Who knew that paint was so freakin' expensive? We've spent almost $500 so far. Yikes! We've painted the front room (tv room), the entry way, the master bedroom and bathroom, and one of the upstairs bedrooms, and the upstairs hallway, and guest bathroom. We still have one bedroom, kitchen, downstairs bedroom and tv/game room to finish up the inside painting. Outside we need to stain the deck and re-paint the outside railings. Ugh.

The date for the wedding has been tenatively set for April of 2009. I've weighed in at just under 200 pounds again (198), so the fiance and I have joined a gym to make some "wedding day" goals. I'll try to actually keep this thing updated. I miss the support.

StResSed oUt

OMG! I am so stressed out. I've been eating like a cow. I'm back to 190 pounds and so frustrated because of it. I'm hoping that a lot of it comes back off quickly when I start drinking water again.

Good news is, we got the house!!!! I'm excited about it, but nervous and frightened all at the same time! Not to mention stressed out!!!

The government gives us 48 hours to have the utilities turned on and inspections done. Of course, the utility companies can't quite coordinate to make that happen. We have to turn on the water first, electricity second, and gas third. When I called to do that today, the utility company said the electricity could be turned on at any time. So, I'm cheating a bit and turning it on early. I sure hope this doesn't catch up with me and cause problems!

I scheduled an inspection for Wednesday afternoon. I'm fairly sure this is going to upset the agent. I feel bad for using up all her time in some ways, but in other ways I just want to scream "You are making almost 4,000 from us! You can spare some time!!!" I called several inspection companies, and the cheapest I could find was $415. Ouch! Add that cost to the required $75 re-winterazation fee (the government requires!) and the $45 charge for turing on the gas (we'll have to pay twice!) and the $26 fee for the electricity (we may have to pay this twice too!!) the fees are really starting to add up. *whimpers* This is really getting to be too much stress!

We still haven't been able to pick a mortgage company. It is between two different people. I've got an appointment on Friday to speak with one of them. I think I'll probably make my decision at that point. This guy keeps telling me the other guy's quote is "too good to be true" but in all honesty, it isn't that much different from what guy #1 has quoted us. I need a magic crystal ball to look into to tell me what will be the best in the long run.

Sorry I haven't been updating much. I'll try to get inside pics up eventually. We are really going to need to do some re-painting. Who knew that would be the "easy" part of the whole process!

House 2

Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I thought I'd post what house 2 might look like. The odds of us getting this house are pretty slim. It is actually put up by the government. They kind of do a process like eBay --people put in bids on the house and then you either win or you don't. Like I said, our hopes aren't up on this one, but thinking we might try it anyway.

It is a pretty house from the outside. A little plain --I love the windows the last one had--but the 3 car garage is nice and the price is in the $150,000 range which is pretty great. Inside it needs a lot of paint. I swear the people who had this house decided to paint almost every wall a different, bright color.

I'm really getting tired of this house hunting process. It is so stressful. I feel so bad for Chris trying to sell her house, I can't even imagine that extra stress. Our friends tell us the best thing to do is "not settle". That sounds so easy, but I'd really like to have this whole process over. I started thinking about it, as long as the house has sunshine coming into and "decent" bedrooms and a nice kitchen and bathroom I'm set. You know, they say before you start looking for houses make a list of everything it has to have. In the beginning, I wanted a fireplace so badly! Now, with all the new construction being gas fireplaces (expensive to turn on!) I don't really have to have it anymore. Now, I want a nice kitchen, a whirlpool tub, a shower, a back deck, and a decent sized backyard. Those are pretty much my "have to have" things. I would very much like if the master bedroom's closet wasn't in the master bathroom --don't know why, but that set up just annoys me.

Any advice from those of you that all ready have a house? What is something you wish you had now that you didn't think to look for in the beginning?

We didn't get the house. In some ways I'm really broken up over it. It was the fiance's "dream house", so he is totally bummed. In other ways, I'm a little bit happy. The backyard of the house was backed up to a highway --granted, not a lot of extreme traffice, but who knows what may happen in the future.

Back to square one in looking. Hehe. I find it so funny that you all are loving the snow pictures while I'm here wishing it would warm up. It is SOOOO cold! Snow only makes it worse.

I've caught up a bit on school work, but I'm still fairly behind. I have the fiance and I scheduled to see something like 8 houses this weekend. Hoping one might be "the one" I wasn't super eager to put our financials to the test so soon a month ago --but something has clicked on in my brain that says "go for it!" I can't help but think in some ways that it would be amazing to have a space that is all our own. In other ways, I know how much extra stress trying to divide up house chores and figuring out how the dishwasher should be loaded (still one of the silliest fights I've had to this day with my future mother-in-law! I put plates where bowls should be!) and remembering that we now have to live "cheap" with no more outtings to restaurants.

*hugs* take care everyone! I'll try super hard to catch up on blogs ASAP.

House Drama!

That's the house! It is a split level house, so as soon as you come in the front door, you have to choose if you want to go up or downstairs. At the top of the stairs is a room with a big cut-out in the wall for a big screen TV. Immediately straight is the kitchen. I think the kitchen is the room I'm the most in love with in the whole house. OMG it is amazing!!! First of all, it has tons of lighting in a vaulted ceiling. That on its own would be very cool --what makes it better is that it goes up to a skylight. It is a pretty amazing sight. There are 3 bedrooms upstairs. They are all nice and big. We'll probably make one of them a guest room and the other a computer room --at least for now. The laundry room is upstairs and has a nice cabinet and shelf all ready built in. =0) The downstairs is "unfinished" --and when I say that, I mean completely unfinished! I can still see the insulation poking out of the walls. They need to be sheetrocked and everything that goes along with that process. I guess this will a "several year" project. We've talked about making it everything from a wet bar, to a video game room/movie room, to just a cool lounge type atmosphere to hang out in with friends.

So, that's the house in a nutshell. It is really pretty. I like it a lot. I hope we get it, but we'll see what happens. The fiance and I are going to go talk to mortgage people wednesday, if all goes well we might put in a bid!

Going to head towards bed --I'm so far behind in school work that I'm going to try to get up super early tomorrow.

*sigh*

I have been very bad the past week. I am disappointed in myself for that reason and because I continue to make excuses for that "badness"

My fiance's grandmother passed away last weekend. Needless to say, it threw my world into a flurry of un-expected activity. I never know quite what to say to someone when a family member or friend dies. I will say, however, it is kind of like an extreme bootcamp to be introduced into the family. The week is over and done, but with it came a lot of eating out with family as a form of coming together and bonding --as well as pure stress relief. I hate the fact that I use food as a reward, as stress relief, as boredom relief, etc. Why can't it be what it is meant for....a form of sustance and nothing more! Pure and simple, food is a bonding tool for me. IF I can't overcome that fact, then I need to start eating healthier when I go out to eat. hehe. I was good and didn't get any sweets! at least that is a small step in the right direction.

How long should it take to buy a house? Before my fiance and I decided we should start looking we both agreed we wouldn't fall in love with any particular house right away. *sigh* Apparently he forgot that part of our agreement. We've looked at fewer than 10 houses and he is ready to buy. He has put me in charge of getting loan pre-approval and good faith estimates on mortgages and closing costs. Which I say to him, "gee, thanks!" That would be in my most sarcastic tone of voice by the way. hehe. Nothing like being put in charge of a task you know *nothing* about. I made several phone calls today, but apparently nobody was in their office. So, tomorrow I will make follow up phone calls.

Over the weekend, my father and fiance's mom and dad came to look at the house he is in love with. I shouldn't put all the blame on him, I am in love with quite a few features too. However, as with most places, it is going to take a lot of work. I wish I could have Chris from Diet Coke Rocks come fix it up for me. She always seems to be painting or cleaning. I'm sure she'd knock out all the projects! The basement of this house is completely unfinished. We'll have to hang sheetrock, putty and paint it by ourselves. We'll have to put in a drop ceiling and decide if we want to put a toilet down there...eek!...it just isn't what I thought of when I started looking at purchasing a home. I always thought I'd move in and all that stuff would be finished for me. In some ways, I think it will be really fun/neat to put our mark on the house. We've even talked about putting in a little wet bar in the basement! In other ways, it is going to be a project we have to work on for years and years. Everyone keeps saying, "well, over the next 4 to 6 years you can work on it" and I just keep thinking about the mess it will be for that entire time.

The house we are looking at was re-possessed by the bank. It has never been lived in before. Like I said in earlier posts, the USA is having some serious financial crisis things happening --among those is a HUGE fallout in the housing market. The house we are looking at was orginally listed by the builder for $212,000. The bank has it listed for $154,000 right now and IF we put a bid in on it we'll start out offering less. I know it my heart of heart that this place is a good deal and that it is beautiful, so why do I have such HUGE butterflies about buying it?

Last thought of the night, if you know anything about getting pre-approved for mortgage, or the whole mortgage process, I'd love to hear from you. I tell you what, I find the whole bullshit over complicated and just plain frightening!

Weight loss sucks

Hey guys and gals! I'm thinking of doing something kind of new. I'm going to try out answering my comments in one color, and then switching over and blogging in another. Hope that makes sense to ya'll. =0)

Hamiharri --

No, I don't recall exactly what my little sister said to me, but I do think she was parroting back something I'd said before. I've hung wedding dress pictures inside the food cabinet and on the fridge and beside my alarm clock so I have a visual "check" everytime I wake up, and every time I decide to eat something. That girl in the wedding dress is there reminding me that I eventually would like to look beautiful for my "big day". So, I think my sister said something like "that wedding dress is going to make you look like a fat cow" because she was referring back to a self-made checks-and-balance system of created for myself. Ultimately, you can be totally supportive of your sis losing weight, but you can't make that decision for her. What is that saying? It's easy to talk the talk, but not so easy to walk the walk???

If she actually wants to commit to trying to lose weight, the best thing I ever did for myself was create a food diary. I don't know what her living situation is, so this might not work for her, but I've put a dry erase board on my fridge. For me, I like to keep track of calories, fat, fiber, and protein intake during the day. It helps me see where I've been lacking. Some days I don't make it to my appropriate calorie intake--that's bad--it means I'm going into "starvation mode" and I'm going to gain weight. Other days, I splurge and eat something like Pizza Hut --that's an overload of calories and fat. However, what I've learned is that if I keep track of what I'm eating, I actually make a choice about it. I can choose to splurge on something naughty (and I'm generally okay with it because I thought about that choice. Nothing worse than eating a couple of cookies and then thinking "why did I do that?" because it wasn't a conscious decision) or I can force myself to be aware that I'm not getting enough calories.

Second thing that I did that helped was start a blog. It gives me a chance to read other people's stories. Understand that I'm not the only person out there struggles. It lets me write down and acknowledge why I make the food decisions that I do. For me, it once again lends a control element to the whole process. Kind of a review process for the day, or the week.

I do have pics of my engagement ring, but not here with me at the moment. I'll have to try to upload some --I love my ring, but it is very simple. Just a diamond solitaire. The wedding band wraps around underneath the solitaire so it flanks both sides of the diamond with smaller diamonds. I love it so much. I wanted a very simple wedding band that looked like one ring and that's what I got. =D

So, this week in review. Hehe. I managed to write down my food log once. I have kept track of my overall calorie intake, so that's good. I think I'm going to try to start marking the times when I eat too. Like today, I know that I had 220 calories and 6.5g of fat after 9pm. That's no good! Who knew hot chocolate was that bad for you! It was really tastey though, and it did the trick of warming me up, which is what I was after. After having been very good this entire week, I didn't mind too badly giving myself this one indulgence. Of course, tomorrow, Friday, will be another cheat day.

So, this morning when I woke up, the scale read 183.4. Yay!! Since I generally tip the scales at 188+ (I started this week at 190.3) I'm feeling really good about eating well. I even used the gazelle first thing when I woke up this morning. I'm talking with my fiance as I write this and we're discussing possible "healthy alternatives" for our eating together this weekend. That makes me happy, because it is so easy to run out and get ice cream "because it is the weekend" or to go out to eat repeatedly "because it is the weekend". I really, really, REALLY look forward to getting a house that is exclusively ours. I know it will still be a struggle to eat right and not introduce those "bad foods" into the house, but it will be great to have a little extra control.

I keep using the word control in tonight's post. I don't know if that is necessarily a healthy thing. It isn't necessarily so much "control" as it is the ability to make an educated decision. To think about my actions before I take them. To understand what it is I'm taking into my body. To understand that I have to do an entire hour on the treadmill just to burn off an indulgence. G.I. Joe had to right. Knowing truely is half the battle.

I called an agent to do a couple of walk-throughs this weekend. I'm a pretty firm believer that honesty is a good policy, so I was very upfront with him. Told him that we'd just started looking and that we weren't completely sure what we wanted yet. I also told him that we were okay with being classified as a "low priority" because we weren't planning on buying for at least several more months. However, I am not okay with the fact that he said he'd call me with appointment times today and he did not. There is a difference between low priority and blowing someone off. I really hope he calls tomorrow, because of all the agent bios I read, I thought he'd fit our learning/shopping/exploring the best. *sigh*

I'll let you know how everything goes sometime next week. Have a great weekend everyone!

Tuesday -catch up!

Hello all--

First off, let me say I did NOT get that ice cream. *pats self on back* Okay, to tell the truth, I had very little to do with not getting the ice cream. When I picked up my little sis and asked if she wanted to get some sweets with me, she asked if I wanted to be a fat cow in a wedding dress. hehe. Okay, she didn't quite take it that far, but she got the point across. So, no ice cream for me. As for binging, I held off until the weekend. What exactly is it about the weekend that makes it a magical "okay" to binge time? I read several blogs and most of us seem to struggle with the lack of schedule on the weekends. I try to plan out food schedules, and sometimes that helps, but they generally seem to get the best of me.

Thanks for the advice on house buying. Yeah, for the most part, almost everyone says not to get emotional about the new purchase. We haven't even started looking yet, in fact, I just sent off my first email inquiring about a property and asking if we could do a walk-through. My hope is to hold off on buying for *at least* 6 months; however, the fiance is very ready to move into his own home. I don't blame him, if I still lived with my parents I would be anxious to get out too. I just hate the fact that I honestly don't think he realizes how lonely he will be in a house all by himeself, nor do I think he realizes the extent of "brokeness" being a home owner will entail. I don't know, would you sacrifice your spending habits for the chance at some peace and quiet? hehe. No matter how good it sounds, I found that I got awfully lonely living by myself. My little sister drives me batty, but it is still nice to be able to cook for someone other than just yourself.

I find it kind of odd that houses in Canada are so expensive. The housing market in the USA is currently in a nose-dive. Tons of forclosures from people that tried to take an adjustable rate mortgage and couldn't keep up with the balloon payments, as well as lots of builders stuck with houses they thought they were going to sell, but with the market down, can't. One of the houses we've been watching was listed at $169,900 for the first couple of months we started toying with the idea of buying a house. Yesterday, I looked to see if it was still on the market and it is, but now is priced at $154,000. Yay!! Actually, market analysis are predicting that the housing market will continue to fall for at least the next 6 months or longer. Sounds an awful lot like the US is going to go into a recession =0/ what a great time to be getting ready to come out of college, again. *sigh* I really should be able to come out of school and make at least $40,000 --but I'm thinking if I can get a job making $30,000 to start off at I'll be doing good.

I started another blog of sorts. I'm going to try to track my food choices there. Hopefully I'll do it on a daily basis. I need to get back on sparkpeople to see what my daily "goals" for calories should be. I've always heard to shoot for about 1200 if you are a girl, so that's what I'm going for so far. Today's final numbers:

Calories: 1255 Fiber: 12 Fat: 22 Protein: 74 --2.5 liters of water

I am exceptionally proud of the water intake, but know that I need more fiber and probably a little bit less fat. Oh well, at least I've made a start in the right direction. Recording the calories I eat per day *really* helps me decide that I don't need that 100 calorie pack of cookies at the end of the day.

What I really, really, REALLY need to do once I get my diet under control is make it back into the gym. I'm hoping by next month that the majority of people out there will be tired of their new years resolution to go to the gym and that I'll have the place to myself again. Fighting over work out equipment sucks.

I'm off to bed. Have a wonderful day ladies and gentleman!

Save me from the ice cream!!!

So, the last two days I've eaten fairly well, until the night time. That is when the sweets craving really kicks up. Right now I'm trying to convince myself that I don't need a McDonalds caramel sundae *smacks lips* Even trying to remind myself of the 190 I saw on the scales earlier today isn't helping override the want for the food. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!

Well, at least I've worked drinking water back into my life. I've been drinking at least one liter a day, and often 2. Of course, I feel like I've been drinking beers and have "broken the seal" as often as I find myself needing to use the pisser. Oh well, that's good health for ya I guess =0p

I'm sitting in the school library right now. I should be paying attention to school work, but instead I'm playing with the new laptop my dad loaned to me. My parents are SOOOO great. In fact, probably a little too great considering how spoiled I am. Boy oh boy oh boy will I miss the free ride they have given (and continue to give) me.

Oh well, back to school work I guess. I have another hour and a half before my little sis will be out of class and ready to go home. I never should have offered to drive her up here, but the forecast was threatening snow and I know she hates driving in it.

Argh! Make me stop thinking about ice cream!! I've been doing so well, I think that might be the problem. I keep thinking to myself, reward yourself for doing well! but that is what my cheat day on friday is supposed to be for --ugh! I want to stay strong, but honestly, I think I've all ready talked myself into getting one.

Update!

Oh my goodness! SO much to tell you all! Let's start by answering the questions about the holidays.

There are TONS of presents under that tree! My mom and dad have 6 kids. Of those 6 kids, 5 of us are either married or in "serious" relationships. From those relationships, they have 10 grandkids. hehe. You can probably see how the presents start piling up!

The holidays were great for me. Lots of time relaxing and brainstorming about upcoming school project. Oh yeah, have I mentioned yet that I'm officially engaged! *girly giggle* No dates set for the wedding, we're thinking sometime next year. Before getting married, we're trying to buy a house --an interesting concept considering I made $0.00 in income this year >.< The fiance (hehe...calling him "fiance" vs. "boyfriend" makes me giggle) has a great job, but still frightens me to go into buying a house with only one job. Just giving a heads up that this blog may morph into a wedding/house shopping/weight loss blog. hehe. Life is about to get a lot more interesting.

So, on the weightloss front, today is probably a bad day to blog about it! I just got finished eating some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. Ever notice that when you decide to "be bad" you go all out? hehe. I was lazy tonight, so I ordered chinese and then made cookies. LoL.

I've trying new veggies as part of a new years resolution. I've also vowed to start getting water drinking back as a habit --instead of grabbing that ever-present and amazingly tastey diet coke. The fiance and I have also decided to start taking pictures of ourselves at least once a month. It is hard to track progress without some sort of reference point. He kind of gave me a "revelation" the other day. He asked me what I wanted to weigh at my wedding --with the basic response of less from me =0p Then he said, if you lose 3 pounds a month...a MONTH...you'll be 36 pounds lighter by the next year. 154 isn't an ideal weight for me, but it sounds like a lot of weight vs. 190. I read people's blogs that say they lose 3 pounds a week, surely I can lose at least 3 pounds a month and keep it off. 4 pounds a month, is 48 pounds --50 pounds lighter in the new year--1 pound a week. 5 pounds a month, is 60 pounds that could be off my body. By next year, I could be 130 pounds! I haven't been that light since high school. Breaking it down like that, makes it sound so much easier. LoL. I'll try to keep that in mind next cookie binge.

Well, I'm going to try to be back, but no promises. Right now, goal is to blog at least 2-3 times a week. *hugs*