So, I'm trying to decide if I over re-acted the other day. I probably did somewhat, but in other ways, I feel completed justified in my response.
Yesterday, I got up at the same time as my fiance. As I've said before, he is the only one that works right now (yay for having a bread winner!), so I packed up a lunch for him and sent him out the door. My sis and her 4 children (4 boys under the age of 4! eek!) wanted to take me out for lunch for my birthday, so I kicked around the house for a little bit, played some computer and then headed towards her house.
When I got to her house, her hubby offered to take care of the youngest boy (turning 1 later this week!) while we went out. So, I had lunch with my sister and nephews (two, two year old twins and a four year old). Lunch with them is always a bit of an adventure, but they are really very well mannered for their age. My sister and I got to have a nice chat in-between offering drinks, dodging unwanted food, and reminding the children to use their "inside voices". It was a good time, but I was tuckered after all that play.
My mother-in-law to be has been having a bad time at work lately. She just hasn't been enjoying herself at all, so I asked sis if she'd mind stopping by her work real quick to show off the kids. My MIL *loves* small children. She seemed really happy/excited to see them, said it cheered up her day --so I was really happy. Bad thing is, she asked why her son, my fiance, hadn't been over to see them lately. That just breaks my heart! I told her he'd be by soon (lies!) and left.
When I got home, I was tired, but our lawn was out of control. It HAD to be mown! It has been 100 degrees + here lately, so it has been "too hot" to mow, or then it rained for 3 days so it was "too wet" to mow. I decided I better do at least half the yard before my fiance came home from work. So I mowed the front and side yards (I've got to go do the backyard in a few minutes --bleh!) and got inside a few minutes before the fiance phoned to say he was coming home. At this point I was truely tired, but I changed into my workout clothes and waited for him to show up.
We got to the gym and it was more packed than normal. His shoulder has been hurting him, so I suggested he might want to lay off the arm/shoulder/chest weights and he about bit my head off telling me he was an adult and could make his own decisions. So, I went ahead and did the rest of my workout circuit without him. After weights, we always hop on a cardio machine. His machine of choice is the elliptical, but I much rather use the treadmill. I'm just not comfortable enough with "physical movement" yet to really go over the top --and when I do elliptical I can't hardly walk the next day. This is where that whole "up your intensity" speech comes back into play. After 20 minutes of going on the treadmill, he comes over and tells me I'm going to do 5 minutes on the elliptical. First, I'm all ready hot and sweaty at this point. Second, I never like being told what to do. Third, he criticized me for not going fast enough on the treadmill (even though the heart monitor said I was in the right "burning zone". Fourth, and what truely was the "last straw", he Mooed at me. Yes, he made cow noises at me. What a way to motivate an all ready tired girl.
I got on the elliptical, did my 5 minutes and left the gym with him. He lectured me for another 10 minutes in the car about how I wasn't trying hard enough. How I wasn't being a good workout buddy. At this point, I'd had enough. I told him I WAS trying hard and for it all being new to me I thought I was doing a pretty spectacular job. He mooed at me again. I blew up and told him not to make cow noises at me. That it was rude and hurtful. He told me I couldn't take a joke --and the reason I couldn't take a joke was probably because there was a little too much truth in the joke for me. In my mind, I translate that as him saying "you are a cow". I am pissed, I am angry, I am hurt, so I go to explain this to him and he turns up the radio in the car so I can't be heard. I've let him lecture me for 15 minutes and then he turns up the radio when it is my turn to speak. How disrespectful can you get???
*sigh* I'm beginning to think about going to the gym during the day and letting him go by himself at night. If I couldn't feel changes in my body, if I wasn't sore the next day, if I wasn't able to make a muscles appear where previously I couldn't, I might believe that I wasn't pushing hard enough in the gym. I do feel different though, so him saying I'm not trying hard enough is pretty much making me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't like that feeling and I don't want to live in that kind of angry environment.
My favorite part of the story probably isn't the fact that he said that "mooing" at me was a joke (and doing it again even after I said it hurt my feelings). My favorite part is probably the fact that I cooked dinner when we got home and he chose to eat his after I'd finished mine. He also ate his in the other room away from me. As of this morning, he still isn't talking to me. I tried to make nice with him before bed --mind out of the gutter!-- just threw a joke or two out there and let them vanish into the silence. Sometimes I wonder if I'm marrying a man or an 8 year old boy.
*sigh* I finish with the thought that I love him and remembering that our "fighting styles" have never been very good together. He hurt my feelings yesterday --I told him that, I acknowledged it myself --I've forgiven, but not forgotten at this point. I don't want to fight about it anymore though. To me, it feels like I should be the one angry. Funny thing is, he is the one that has choosen to not speak to me. Moral of the story is, sometimes funny just isn't funny