Weight loss sucks

Hey guys and gals! I'm thinking of doing something kind of new. I'm going to try out answering my comments in one color, and then switching over and blogging in another. Hope that makes sense to ya'll. =0)

Hamiharri --

No, I don't recall exactly what my little sister said to me, but I do think she was parroting back something I'd said before. I've hung wedding dress pictures inside the food cabinet and on the fridge and beside my alarm clock so I have a visual "check" everytime I wake up, and every time I decide to eat something. That girl in the wedding dress is there reminding me that I eventually would like to look beautiful for my "big day". So, I think my sister said something like "that wedding dress is going to make you look like a fat cow" because she was referring back to a self-made checks-and-balance system of created for myself. Ultimately, you can be totally supportive of your sis losing weight, but you can't make that decision for her. What is that saying? It's easy to talk the talk, but not so easy to walk the walk???

If she actually wants to commit to trying to lose weight, the best thing I ever did for myself was create a food diary. I don't know what her living situation is, so this might not work for her, but I've put a dry erase board on my fridge. For me, I like to keep track of calories, fat, fiber, and protein intake during the day. It helps me see where I've been lacking. Some days I don't make it to my appropriate calorie intake--that's bad--it means I'm going into "starvation mode" and I'm going to gain weight. Other days, I splurge and eat something like Pizza Hut --that's an overload of calories and fat. However, what I've learned is that if I keep track of what I'm eating, I actually make a choice about it. I can choose to splurge on something naughty (and I'm generally okay with it because I thought about that choice. Nothing worse than eating a couple of cookies and then thinking "why did I do that?" because it wasn't a conscious decision) or I can force myself to be aware that I'm not getting enough calories.

Second thing that I did that helped was start a blog. It gives me a chance to read other people's stories. Understand that I'm not the only person out there struggles. It lets me write down and acknowledge why I make the food decisions that I do. For me, it once again lends a control element to the whole process. Kind of a review process for the day, or the week.

I do have pics of my engagement ring, but not here with me at the moment. I'll have to try to upload some --I love my ring, but it is very simple. Just a diamond solitaire. The wedding band wraps around underneath the solitaire so it flanks both sides of the diamond with smaller diamonds. I love it so much. I wanted a very simple wedding band that looked like one ring and that's what I got. =D

So, this week in review. Hehe. I managed to write down my food log once. I have kept track of my overall calorie intake, so that's good. I think I'm going to try to start marking the times when I eat too. Like today, I know that I had 220 calories and 6.5g of fat after 9pm. That's no good! Who knew hot chocolate was that bad for you! It was really tastey though, and it did the trick of warming me up, which is what I was after. After having been very good this entire week, I didn't mind too badly giving myself this one indulgence. Of course, tomorrow, Friday, will be another cheat day.

So, this morning when I woke up, the scale read 183.4. Yay!! Since I generally tip the scales at 188+ (I started this week at 190.3) I'm feeling really good about eating well. I even used the gazelle first thing when I woke up this morning. I'm talking with my fiance as I write this and we're discussing possible "healthy alternatives" for our eating together this weekend. That makes me happy, because it is so easy to run out and get ice cream "because it is the weekend" or to go out to eat repeatedly "because it is the weekend". I really, really, REALLY look forward to getting a house that is exclusively ours. I know it will still be a struggle to eat right and not introduce those "bad foods" into the house, but it will be great to have a little extra control.

I keep using the word control in tonight's post. I don't know if that is necessarily a healthy thing. It isn't necessarily so much "control" as it is the ability to make an educated decision. To think about my actions before I take them. To understand what it is I'm taking into my body. To understand that I have to do an entire hour on the treadmill just to burn off an indulgence. G.I. Joe had to right. Knowing truely is half the battle.

I called an agent to do a couple of walk-throughs this weekend. I'm a pretty firm believer that honesty is a good policy, so I was very upfront with him. Told him that we'd just started looking and that we weren't completely sure what we wanted yet. I also told him that we were okay with being classified as a "low priority" because we weren't planning on buying for at least several more months. However, I am not okay with the fact that he said he'd call me with appointment times today and he did not. There is a difference between low priority and blowing someone off. I really hope he calls tomorrow, because of all the agent bios I read, I thought he'd fit our learning/shopping/exploring the best. *sigh*

I'll let you know how everything goes sometime next week. Have a great weekend everyone!