Personal Demons...

So...I went to check out sparkpeople and this is what they said I should be eating:

1200-1550 calories
27-60g Fat
135-252 Carbs
30-136 Protein
25-35 Fiber

I guess I'm looking at this as a "knowledge is power" type of thing, but I'm still having trouble figuring out when I'm going to eat that many calories. I don't think I can eat them in my current 3 meals a day world, at least not without those calories being filled with fat. I'm a college student, so I spend most of my days either in class or tucked away in the library. Neither one of those environments is very good for eating snacks. I do have to say though, that I love sparkpeople's excersise "how to" videos. Now, I wish I could find someone to go to the gym with me. I'd be so much braver if I had a buddy!! Especially if that buddy could help me figure out how to use all those torture machines....uh....I mean workout machines.

My boyfriend asked me how my weight loss goals were going the other day....*sigh*....I can't quite decide if he is doing this because he wants to be supportive or because he wants to gloat that I haven't lost any weight. hehe. Isn't that awful? When the subject of my weight comes up, I immediately go to the worse case scenario. He isn't talking to me because he is concerned, or because he wants a buddy to lose weight with; instead, HE IS OUT TO GET ME! LoL. I guess growing up as the "fat kid" got to me more than I ever realized. The sad part is, I think he is trying to be supportive and I just can't deal with it. He is doing the NS diet (I don't have the cash for it) and really wants to have someone to share weight loss goals with (especially for our trip to Vegas!). I'm hoping blogging some of my weight loss issues here will help me gain a support system (I love reading everyone's stories and knowing I"m not alone in the struggle to make it to the gym), as well as work through some of my own personal demons.

Okay, enough airing of my personal demons. I need to go upstairs and soak in the bathtub. I dyed Easter eggs today and my fingers are all multi-colored. It is kind of fun, but I'm really hoping I don't have blue, green, and pink fingers for very long!

*grins* I made it through the ENTIRE week without eating a single crumb of the half pan of brownies mom sent home with me. Yay!

Ooh! End note:
Breakfast: Burrito with egg (sis refuses to even try egg beaters *sigh*), onion, green pepper, and some pico de gallo all rolled up in a tortilla. Yum!
Lunch: Left over pizza from the night before.
Dinner: (Sis's turn to cook) Baked Macaroni
After Dinner Snack: Glass of V-8 Fusion. I really love that stuff! Who knew that I'd ever enjoy anything with carrot juice in it!
I drank 2 diet cokes today and 1.5 liters of water. *slosh*

Excersise: Hmm...I mowed the backyard...and I did it FAST. My heart was really racing, but I wanted to finish it before dinner time...plus it was cold outside *shivers*