Well, heck...

My weight continues to go up. What the heck is going on? My food intake has been about the same. If anything, I wasn't eating enough points with that Taco Soup (2 or 3 points a cup --I don't remember which with a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese thrown in for fun making it 5 points per bowl) Maybe my body was reacting poorly to undereating? I wonder how quickly your body can decide to go into "starvation mode" I'm not really buying it...but I'm pretty bummed that the scale is moving in the wrong direction. =(

I'm about to get some major motivation for eating better and getting off my butt more often. Today, I think I"m going to go try on wedding dresses. We'll see if any of them fit. LoL. I'm going to try to take pics (hopefully the dress shop doesn't mind) so I can see what areas I *really* need to improve on. I guess I all ready kind of know though....I really need to hit some cardio (get rid of fat) and tone up my arms. I don't know why, but they seem to be getting flabbier as my stomach gets flatter. LoL. If the scale didn't tell me that I'd lost *some* weight --I think I'd begin to doubt it.

Off to the dress shop I go! Hopefully I'll post some pics today or tomorrow.

omg! not only did I fit in wedding dresses....I actually looked really good in some of them. The one I liked the best was $800. Jeez! I think my sister might be right. It might be time to look into renting a dress =0p

you know those days...

You know those days when you wake up thinking you "feel skinny"? I woke up feeling that way this morning. I just felt slim and trim...so I pulled out the scale and I was up almost 2.5 pounds. WTH? LoL. Oh well, I still feel slim and trim....so *rasberries scale* that's what I think of that. This is wednesday, official weigh in day is tomorrow. Hope it goes back down before then!

Boo to goals...

Well, I was kind of down on myself the other day. Those "goals" I created are all ready WAY off track. I weighed in at 166 last Thursday, so hopefully I'll be near 164 this thursday. I'm not holding my breath too much though. It isn't that I haven't been motivated to be good, it is just a lack of motivation in general. I think getting turned down for one too many jobs has got me feeling a little "bleh". I'm not eating to overcome this bleh feeling....just not pushing to be overly good either.

I was feeling pretty unsuccessful yesterday, but you know what....I've lost 30 pounds. That's in and of itself is an accomplishment =) I've decided I"ll celebrate that 30 pound loss and slowly keep chugging away. I'm only 16 pounds away from my first mini goal. Another 30 pounds from being smoking hot. LoL. Okay, maybe not quite *that* hot, but I'm on my way. I might be going slower than I'd like....but I'm at least working on it =)

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Ugh...

I ate CRAP all weekend long. I hate that. I hate that I apparently lack all willpower to stop eating stuff I know is bad for me for one reason, and one reason alone. LAZINESS. It is so much easier to go flop down at a restaurant or order a pizza than to cook something for us. Sad thing is, for teh most part, I think the food we produce at home is just as tastey as eating out. I'm just too lazy to put the effort into planning the food in advance so we have all the bits and pieces here at home when I'm ready to cook.

So, step 1 to remedy that: Make a food plan.

Step 2 to remedy that: Actually stick to the food plan =0p

Is it absolutely evil to think your diet partner is trying to sabatoge your "eating well" goals? =0p My fiance and I are in on the WW plan together. However, lately, he has been getting worse and worse about suggesting we "just grab a pizza" or "open a bottle of wine". I mean, honestly, he *knows* I'm not going to say "no" to wine because more often than not it is partnered with me getting to fill up a hot bath and just relax. Argh! What an evil little man! LoL.

Funny thing is, I just got off the phone with my sister and asked how her weight loss goals were progressing. She told me she'd fallen off the wagon, but "I'll stick to it tomorrow". Isn't it amazing how we always promise ourselves tomorrow?

Daily chores...

Laundry (dark and light colors) washed and folded
Carpets Vaccuumed
Dishes Washed
Trash taken out

That's what I've gotten accomplished today. I still need to put away the dishes, clean the kitchen, take the newspaper to the recycle place, take books to the library, and buy cupcake mix (and make them) for a birthday. I don't think it is all going to get done.

I fell off the diet hardcore, but I'm wroking really hard to get back on it. I haven't made it back to the gym yet, but maybe I'll go out walking tonight (it is a beautiful day). I've tried to write down my goals, hopefully that will help keep me on track a little bit better. I'm going to try to post them on the side bar. I'm also thinking about maybe starting to post pics. I don't know why but I hate the idea of losing anonimity. But maybe I need to break out of that feeling. I think having extra weight makes you "blend in" --ever notice that people don't want to hang out with the fat kid? That's me. I took time out of life and used extra weight as an excuse. Maybe it is time for that to end.

Help! I've fallen....

So, Valentines day threw me off the weight loss wagon...and I landed hard. We were doing better, getting back on track until the phone rang monday morning. Phones ringing at 7am are never good. A family member who had bad health issues to begin with had passed away.

Off the wagon again. It is almost ridiculous to say, but I honestly feel out of control with my eating. I can't stop craving the "bad stuff". Monday begins a new week and a renewed focus on improvment...but I've got to get the candy back out of the house!!!

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The fallout from Valentines day...

I hope everyone had a wonderful V-day! I know mine was good/fun. I asked for my fiance to make me alfredo *drools*. It was great! He also made some steaks. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I made some oatmeal cookies?

Long story short, the day was great, but the night was filled my tummy hurting. The next day was somewhat painful too. LoL. I guess eating "healthier" has me unable to out-and-out splurge on foods. IT was all fabulous though. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

With all the indulgences this week, I was a little afraid to step on the scale this morning. Friday morning has been the traditional weigh in day though --so I figured good, bad, or ugly, I better do it. *drum roll please*

168.2 --same as the last weigh in. I'm soooooo excited. I know, doesn't really "mean" too much, but I'm excited I stayed the same. I have to commit to being exceptionally good this weekend and upcoming week. Must say "no" to the pizza --which has recently been sneaking back into the weekly food rotation.

Being at 168 pounds is very cool for a number of reasons. First off, it means I've solidly lost 20 pounds. Depending on where I "start" my weight loss from. (I know I weighed as much as 198 before I started kind of yo-yo dieting) I also know that I've lost another WW point. So I have to be smart about that. I guess it really signifies that I'm trying to do this though. The first 10 pounds could have been written off to water weight and such....this is a commitment. I'm going to do this! I'm going to lose the weight. 30 more pounds to go.

I look forward to seeing some size 12 jeans in my future. Another 10 pounds to lose before I start trying on some old dresses and begging to be taken out on a date =0p

Clean, clean, clean....

That's my plans for the day. Forgive me for not being overly excited about it though >.<>.< So, my plans for making him happy used to revolve around food. To be honest, I haven't decided 100% not to make something *awful* for dinner like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy with some oatmeal cookies afterwards. I don't want to blow our diet --but it would be nice to see him smile. I just don't want to depress him later in the week when he doesn't see a loss. *sigh* So insead of cooking, I'm going to start cleaning up the mess we call a house. To be fair, it really should be spotless considering I can't seem to find a job. This "economic downturn" in the USA is really making it difficult to compete for a job. I'm thinking later this week I will call a temp. agency and see if I can start finding at least some part time types of jobs. I'd like the experience, and we need the money. I'm tempted to post my resume on the blog. See if anyone has a suggestion. I'm tired of playing a housewife (no offense to anyone that enjoys the occupation --I'm just not very good at it). After a couple of months of having my efforts to keep the house clean go unnoticed, it just became easier to let the mess pile up. Now I clean once a week at best. I'd be fired if I were a maid =0p Speaking of being fired...my car needs to be! Okay, maybe it just needs a check up instead of being chucked out, but the "check engine" light came on yesterday. Very sad. It has been such a good car --hopefully it just needs a cheap fix. Two things: 1. If you live in the Kansas City, MO area and you are aware of a job (entry level is fine) that could utilize a communication degree --please post! I'll take any random ideas. I comb the careerbuilder site often, but would be interested in any personalized, possible job opportunities. Even just leaving a company name would be great. 2. I need some WW breakfast ideas. With 24 points a day (soon to be 23!!) I don't like spending much more than 3 points for breakfast. Sometimes I splurge with 6 points, but then I have to be careful with lunch --eating something like a can of Progresso Soup.

I'm worthless. I got very little cleaned today. I did wash 3 loads of laundry though. The last load is in the washer now. Hopefully I'll have it in the dryer before fiance comes home.

Do you ever have those days where you look back and wonder where the day went? I swear I didn't get anything accomplished today, which makes me wonder, what did I do? And honestly, I don't know where the time went >.<

Things to do tomorrow...

Library --return books DONE
Walmart --buy cilantro, spray butter, and possible V-day present! DONE
Home Depot --get our window shades "shaved"
Helzsburg --see if I can get my "free gift" and my jewelry checkup DONE
Recycle Papers --see if I can get the billion of newspapers to the recycle bin at the school DONE

Wash laundry
Check mail DONE
Call lady that hit my poor car (and get insurance info)
*gulp* weigh in DONE

I'm taking a page out of Diet Coke's book --or maybe I should say blog -- I listed what all I was going to do today, and because it was written down, I finished the majority of it up =)

I went by Home Depot, and had a lovely chat with the guy back in the window shade dept. He told me I'd been told incorrectly about how much they could take off the side of the shades. I had been told 1/8 of an inch, but he said they could only do 1/4 of an inch. That's a lot more off than I want/need. Damn it! So, I called the fiance and he told me to go back later and try talking to the people I talked with the first time. Looking back, I wish I had just kept the stupid things in the car and had them cut the first time around. Oh well, hind sight is always best.

My experience at Helzburg was actually really good today too. I don't know if the "economic crisis" in America has made companies realize they actually need to provide customer service now, or what, but I was shocked. Normally they treat me like I'm not good enough to be in the store. Maybe I'm just "old enough" now to look like I could possibly have money. I don't, but looks can be deceiving. My only other thought is, has losing almost 25 pounds really made me that more "approachable" or made me look like that much less of a "slob"?? I mean, honestly, I feel better about myself, and I can understand confidence translating into better service, but it really does make me wonder if I'm not just more socially acceptable at this point. How sad would that be? What a knock on society. Even at my heaviest, I was always well groomed, clean, polite, etc. Just makes me a little bit curious.

A new year....

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been posting. With all the holidays and such, it has been hard trying to "keep on track" with everything. I've been doing okay with the weightloss since starting weight watchers. I don't know how much I weighed technically when starting, but just from the WW alone, I'd say I've dropped 10 pounds =)

My fiance is doing WW with me. I worry about him a little bit because he doesn't eat anywhere near his point value. According to the book, he should have around 40 points, but generally he doesn't break 30. Me, on the other hand, I'm supposed to have 24 points and I either come right up to the 24 mark, or I'm way under it. I can't quite seem to find a happy medium.

Every Friday is weigh in day. It is also the day we have a "date night" and cheat on the diet. So, first thing Friday morning, we jump on the scale and record our weight. I bet you can't guess what I'm avoiding doing now =0p I think maybe I gained weight this week. So sad =0/ It would be the first week since starting WW that I had actually gained. *shakes fist* darn that boy of mine for convincing me he *had* to have pizza hut on Sunday! I peaked at our food journal --we right down everything we eat and point values -- because it is where we record our weigh-ins at and he is down another 2 pounds. Grrr! Anyway, I weighed in first thing this morning, but something I figured out last week was if I weight 30 minutes to an hour, after waking up, my weight seems to go down. I don't know why necessarily, it isn't the morning tinkle or anything silly like that...but hey, if it can get me back to last week's weigh in numbers, I'm happy =)

*stretches arms* I'm sore! I went and worked out yesterday. I really tried focusing on my arms/back --and geez am I ever feeling it now. With the help of a gym worker, I've fallen into a kind of "circuit" when I go to the gym. I still don't love going, but I do feel better after walking out. Yesterday, though, I wasn't paying much attention during my circuit and when I pushed up on the "hip sled" machine, I realized I'd made a very dumb mistake. I hadn't noticed that some jackass had taken the pads off the shoulder bars of the machine. Ouch! I don't like being the type of person to root against other people, but I really hope that the New Year's Resolution crowd will do one of two things:

One, I hope they quit. I don't wish anyone to fail, but if you aren't going to take it at least a tiny bit seriously and if you are going to bang the weights and break the equipment because you don't care enough to take care of it --well, good ridence. I don't like the gym, but that doesn't mean I'm slamming stuff around, talking on my cell phone, and just being generally annoying. Oh, and while I'm on this rant, let me get one more thing off my chest....if you aren't using a machine....DON"T SIT ON IT! I hate the people that pull up a seat on a machine to talk on their cellphones >.< I don't like having to say "excuse me, could you please move so I can work out" =0/ Oh, and can anyone help me with some advice on this one, some of the more serious gym people are really into "super-setting" right now. I was doing my leg workout and she asked if I could stay off of 3 different machines because she was doing sets --that it'd only be like 5 minutes. What the hell? Should I compromise my work out because she is training for a competition? *off rant*

Second, I hope they learn to succeed and treat the gym with respect. I hope they can see that all the machines are getting broken and they change their behavior. I hope they are just as tired as I am of having to check a machine to see if it is in working order before hopping on it.

Okay, I've stalled long enough. I guess I better actually go do my weigh-in. I'm sad because the weight is going to be up, almost as sad as I am that I feel "bleh" today with a cold. *stalls a little longer* 172.8 --last week was 172.2. I'll take that over gaining an entire pound =) Maybe my muscles are trying to grow =0p