Happy B-day to me!

Hi all --

It was my birthday a couple of days ago and what a great b-day it was! Honestly, I didn't do anything "cool" or "neat", mostly just sat around the house, but for some reason it was very satisfying. I think maybe because I didn't get crazy high-hopes about winning millions of dollars (I like going go Vegas for my b-day) or having everyone in the world stop to wish me a happy day. LoL. I was cool with just hanging out with the fiance, playing video games, and enjoying eachother's company.

We've made up since my last rant. LoL. Sometimes I truely don't understand where he is coming from! Maybe Hamihari is right and this is just "male talk" that begins irritating me, but after our little spat, he has been trying hard to make up. It actually really cracked me up, the otehr night at the gym I was doing the elliptical. He asked what my goal was, when I said 5 minutes, he told me to try to do 5 and 1/2 minutes. LoL. Well, we were on side-by-side machines, so after about 4 and 1/2 minutes, he looked over and said I was 'doing great' and that I all ready looked skinnier. LoL. It cracked me up, I told him that was the kind of positive encouragement I was looking for --even if he was lying through his teeth. A good chuckle kept me on the machine until the 10 minute mark. I doubled my goal (but legs feel like jelly today! LoL)

I agree very much with what DietCokeRocks (Chris) posted. A marriage/relationship really has to thrive on good communication. Actually, I got my degree in communication. LoL. My fiance and I do communicate very differently. When I joke around, a lot of time he hears it as me mocking him. When he jokes around, a lot of time I hear it as mean/hurtful. We've gotten light-years better with eachother by discussing the hurt feelings, and trying to alter/correct our behaviors. It is just every-once-in-awhile we blow up at eachother. We've been living together almost 3 months and hadn't had any type of fight yet....it was bound to happen =0) I like being able to blog out anger. LoL. It helps me see the arguement from another position, almost like a 3rd party. Having other people weigh in helps me a bit too. It is all a game of perspective.

So, just to lend a bit of perspective on my life....

I met my fiance before I started my senior year of high school. He is two years older than me, so he had all ready graduated and started to work full-time. When we met, I was stick skinny. My parents have 5 other children, so we never went out to eat. LoL. I blame the majority of my fat body on making bad decisions in restaurants over the past several years =) I was so busy with school, extra activities, and working (not to mention having a boyfriend) that I weighed no more than 110 pounds. Now, I weight 195 pounds. That is a lot of extra weight to put on! So, I think my fiance still sees a mental image of me at 110 pounds. That's what he wants back. I've told him several times that a girl never gets her 17 year old body back, but yeah....he isn't quite convinced yet. Now, my fiance, has always been "thick" I hate to say overweight, because I don't generally see it as being that, but he'll tell you he is a fat-ass. He has such a negative-connotation of himself, that I honestly think sometimes when he is lecturing me, he is really reflecting on himself. On what he wished others had said or done to motivate him. I continue to let him know that his form of encouragement does not work. He continues to screw up. We continue to have harsh words every 3 months or so --and then we are back to normal. LoL. Probably not the "most" healthy relationship, but as long as we continue to work on it together, talk it over later, and try to make steps in the right direction, I am happy.