Weight loss sucks

Hey guys and gals! I'm thinking of doing something kind of new. I'm going to try out answering my comments in one color, and then switching over and blogging in another. Hope that makes sense to ya'll. =0)

Hamiharri --

No, I don't recall exactly what my little sister said to me, but I do think she was parroting back something I'd said before. I've hung wedding dress pictures inside the food cabinet and on the fridge and beside my alarm clock so I have a visual "check" everytime I wake up, and every time I decide to eat something. That girl in the wedding dress is there reminding me that I eventually would like to look beautiful for my "big day". So, I think my sister said something like "that wedding dress is going to make you look like a fat cow" because she was referring back to a self-made checks-and-balance system of created for myself. Ultimately, you can be totally supportive of your sis losing weight, but you can't make that decision for her. What is that saying? It's easy to talk the talk, but not so easy to walk the walk???

If she actually wants to commit to trying to lose weight, the best thing I ever did for myself was create a food diary. I don't know what her living situation is, so this might not work for her, but I've put a dry erase board on my fridge. For me, I like to keep track of calories, fat, fiber, and protein intake during the day. It helps me see where I've been lacking. Some days I don't make it to my appropriate calorie intake--that's bad--it means I'm going into "starvation mode" and I'm going to gain weight. Other days, I splurge and eat something like Pizza Hut --that's an overload of calories and fat. However, what I've learned is that if I keep track of what I'm eating, I actually make a choice about it. I can choose to splurge on something naughty (and I'm generally okay with it because I thought about that choice. Nothing worse than eating a couple of cookies and then thinking "why did I do that?" because it wasn't a conscious decision) or I can force myself to be aware that I'm not getting enough calories.

Second thing that I did that helped was start a blog. It gives me a chance to read other people's stories. Understand that I'm not the only person out there struggles. It lets me write down and acknowledge why I make the food decisions that I do. For me, it once again lends a control element to the whole process. Kind of a review process for the day, or the week.

I do have pics of my engagement ring, but not here with me at the moment. I'll have to try to upload some --I love my ring, but it is very simple. Just a diamond solitaire. The wedding band wraps around underneath the solitaire so it flanks both sides of the diamond with smaller diamonds. I love it so much. I wanted a very simple wedding band that looked like one ring and that's what I got. =D

So, this week in review. Hehe. I managed to write down my food log once. I have kept track of my overall calorie intake, so that's good. I think I'm going to try to start marking the times when I eat too. Like today, I know that I had 220 calories and 6.5g of fat after 9pm. That's no good! Who knew hot chocolate was that bad for you! It was really tastey though, and it did the trick of warming me up, which is what I was after. After having been very good this entire week, I didn't mind too badly giving myself this one indulgence. Of course, tomorrow, Friday, will be another cheat day.

So, this morning when I woke up, the scale read 183.4. Yay!! Since I generally tip the scales at 188+ (I started this week at 190.3) I'm feeling really good about eating well. I even used the gazelle first thing when I woke up this morning. I'm talking with my fiance as I write this and we're discussing possible "healthy alternatives" for our eating together this weekend. That makes me happy, because it is so easy to run out and get ice cream "because it is the weekend" or to go out to eat repeatedly "because it is the weekend". I really, really, REALLY look forward to getting a house that is exclusively ours. I know it will still be a struggle to eat right and not introduce those "bad foods" into the house, but it will be great to have a little extra control.

I keep using the word control in tonight's post. I don't know if that is necessarily a healthy thing. It isn't necessarily so much "control" as it is the ability to make an educated decision. To think about my actions before I take them. To understand what it is I'm taking into my body. To understand that I have to do an entire hour on the treadmill just to burn off an indulgence. G.I. Joe had to right. Knowing truely is half the battle.

I called an agent to do a couple of walk-throughs this weekend. I'm a pretty firm believer that honesty is a good policy, so I was very upfront with him. Told him that we'd just started looking and that we weren't completely sure what we wanted yet. I also told him that we were okay with being classified as a "low priority" because we weren't planning on buying for at least several more months. However, I am not okay with the fact that he said he'd call me with appointment times today and he did not. There is a difference between low priority and blowing someone off. I really hope he calls tomorrow, because of all the agent bios I read, I thought he'd fit our learning/shopping/exploring the best. *sigh*

I'll let you know how everything goes sometime next week. Have a great weekend everyone!

Tuesday -catch up!

Hello all--

First off, let me say I did NOT get that ice cream. *pats self on back* Okay, to tell the truth, I had very little to do with not getting the ice cream. When I picked up my little sis and asked if she wanted to get some sweets with me, she asked if I wanted to be a fat cow in a wedding dress. hehe. Okay, she didn't quite take it that far, but she got the point across. So, no ice cream for me. As for binging, I held off until the weekend. What exactly is it about the weekend that makes it a magical "okay" to binge time? I read several blogs and most of us seem to struggle with the lack of schedule on the weekends. I try to plan out food schedules, and sometimes that helps, but they generally seem to get the best of me.

Thanks for the advice on house buying. Yeah, for the most part, almost everyone says not to get emotional about the new purchase. We haven't even started looking yet, in fact, I just sent off my first email inquiring about a property and asking if we could do a walk-through. My hope is to hold off on buying for *at least* 6 months; however, the fiance is very ready to move into his own home. I don't blame him, if I still lived with my parents I would be anxious to get out too. I just hate the fact that I honestly don't think he realizes how lonely he will be in a house all by himeself, nor do I think he realizes the extent of "brokeness" being a home owner will entail. I don't know, would you sacrifice your spending habits for the chance at some peace and quiet? hehe. No matter how good it sounds, I found that I got awfully lonely living by myself. My little sister drives me batty, but it is still nice to be able to cook for someone other than just yourself.

I find it kind of odd that houses in Canada are so expensive. The housing market in the USA is currently in a nose-dive. Tons of forclosures from people that tried to take an adjustable rate mortgage and couldn't keep up with the balloon payments, as well as lots of builders stuck with houses they thought they were going to sell, but with the market down, can't. One of the houses we've been watching was listed at $169,900 for the first couple of months we started toying with the idea of buying a house. Yesterday, I looked to see if it was still on the market and it is, but now is priced at $154,000. Yay!! Actually, market analysis are predicting that the housing market will continue to fall for at least the next 6 months or longer. Sounds an awful lot like the US is going to go into a recession =0/ what a great time to be getting ready to come out of college, again. *sigh* I really should be able to come out of school and make at least $40,000 --but I'm thinking if I can get a job making $30,000 to start off at I'll be doing good.

I started another blog of sorts. I'm going to try to track my food choices there. Hopefully I'll do it on a daily basis. I need to get back on sparkpeople to see what my daily "goals" for calories should be. I've always heard to shoot for about 1200 if you are a girl, so that's what I'm going for so far. Today's final numbers:

Calories: 1255 Fiber: 12 Fat: 22 Protein: 74 --2.5 liters of water

I am exceptionally proud of the water intake, but know that I need more fiber and probably a little bit less fat. Oh well, at least I've made a start in the right direction. Recording the calories I eat per day *really* helps me decide that I don't need that 100 calorie pack of cookies at the end of the day.

What I really, really, REALLY need to do once I get my diet under control is make it back into the gym. I'm hoping by next month that the majority of people out there will be tired of their new years resolution to go to the gym and that I'll have the place to myself again. Fighting over work out equipment sucks.

I'm off to bed. Have a wonderful day ladies and gentleman!

Save me from the ice cream!!!

So, the last two days I've eaten fairly well, until the night time. That is when the sweets craving really kicks up. Right now I'm trying to convince myself that I don't need a McDonalds caramel sundae *smacks lips* Even trying to remind myself of the 190 I saw on the scales earlier today isn't helping override the want for the food. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!

Well, at least I've worked drinking water back into my life. I've been drinking at least one liter a day, and often 2. Of course, I feel like I've been drinking beers and have "broken the seal" as often as I find myself needing to use the pisser. Oh well, that's good health for ya I guess =0p

I'm sitting in the school library right now. I should be paying attention to school work, but instead I'm playing with the new laptop my dad loaned to me. My parents are SOOOO great. In fact, probably a little too great considering how spoiled I am. Boy oh boy oh boy will I miss the free ride they have given (and continue to give) me.

Oh well, back to school work I guess. I have another hour and a half before my little sis will be out of class and ready to go home. I never should have offered to drive her up here, but the forecast was threatening snow and I know she hates driving in it.

Argh! Make me stop thinking about ice cream!! I've been doing so well, I think that might be the problem. I keep thinking to myself, reward yourself for doing well! but that is what my cheat day on friday is supposed to be for --ugh! I want to stay strong, but honestly, I think I've all ready talked myself into getting one.

Update!

Oh my goodness! SO much to tell you all! Let's start by answering the questions about the holidays.

There are TONS of presents under that tree! My mom and dad have 6 kids. Of those 6 kids, 5 of us are either married or in "serious" relationships. From those relationships, they have 10 grandkids. hehe. You can probably see how the presents start piling up!

The holidays were great for me. Lots of time relaxing and brainstorming about upcoming school project. Oh yeah, have I mentioned yet that I'm officially engaged! *girly giggle* No dates set for the wedding, we're thinking sometime next year. Before getting married, we're trying to buy a house --an interesting concept considering I made $0.00 in income this year >.< The fiance (hehe...calling him "fiance" vs. "boyfriend" makes me giggle) has a great job, but still frightens me to go into buying a house with only one job. Just giving a heads up that this blog may morph into a wedding/house shopping/weight loss blog. hehe. Life is about to get a lot more interesting.

So, on the weightloss front, today is probably a bad day to blog about it! I just got finished eating some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. Ever notice that when you decide to "be bad" you go all out? hehe. I was lazy tonight, so I ordered chinese and then made cookies. LoL.

I've trying new veggies as part of a new years resolution. I've also vowed to start getting water drinking back as a habit --instead of grabbing that ever-present and amazingly tastey diet coke. The fiance and I have also decided to start taking pictures of ourselves at least once a month. It is hard to track progress without some sort of reference point. He kind of gave me a "revelation" the other day. He asked me what I wanted to weigh at my wedding --with the basic response of less from me =0p Then he said, if you lose 3 pounds a month...a MONTH...you'll be 36 pounds lighter by the next year. 154 isn't an ideal weight for me, but it sounds like a lot of weight vs. 190. I read people's blogs that say they lose 3 pounds a week, surely I can lose at least 3 pounds a month and keep it off. 4 pounds a month, is 48 pounds --50 pounds lighter in the new year--1 pound a week. 5 pounds a month, is 60 pounds that could be off my body. By next year, I could be 130 pounds! I haven't been that light since high school. Breaking it down like that, makes it sound so much easier. LoL. I'll try to keep that in mind next cookie binge.

Well, I'm going to try to be back, but no promises. Right now, goal is to blog at least 2-3 times a week. *hugs*