New measurements

The gym I am going to is actually very neat. The "trainers" will ask to meet up with you once a month, or so, and when you do meet they switch up your workout. They re-assess goals, check weight, measurements, etc. So, I made an appointment for my fiance to switch up his workout routine. He was getting bored, so I was happy to do it for him. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I apparently was signing myself up for something new as well. hehe.

Well, we both got re-measured. I'll bring my new measurements home tonight (hopefully! post them tomorrow) The trainer cracked me up. He never knows quite what to do with my fiance and I, since we're always joking around. He always looks a little bit frightened when a joke flies. For example, when he went to take my hip measurement, my fiance looked at me and said "honey, do these pants make my arse look big?" I just groaned because I knew what was coming next. He responded with "babe, those pants don't make your arse look big, your arse makes your arse look big" This joke almost always cracks me up. I've kind of got a big booty. Not too out of proportion with the rest of me, but anway.... The trainer's jaw just hit the floor. He looked back and forth between the two of us until I started busting out laughing. He let out a little nervous chuckle and started backing away slowly. hehe. Poor guy! After a couple more bad jokes were exchanged, he started to loosen up. He revealed that he'd had some bad experiences doing measurements. I guess people had yelled at him in the past for telling the truth about just how big they really were. hehe. What a funny thought. Being mad at a virtual stranger because YOU measure bigger than you think you should. Too funny.

So, part of the check-up is to see how much weight has been lost. I could have killed my fiance at this point because he just HAD to have PizzaHut the night before. Grrr. I hadn't eaten much, but still, I had eaten it! As we started walking towards the scale, I told the trainer I knew how much I weighed and it was exactly what he'd written down last time. He told me that wasn't likely considering we'd been in the gym almost every day for a month --but I was right. LoL. He kept trying to move the numbers, but they were the same. I try not to have the fiance look at mine (even though he does) so I try not to look at him (even though I'll see it on the card at some point) when he is being weighed. I'm fairly sure he'd gone up a pound though. Ha! Silly boy had eaten all the pizza leftovers for lunch! Teach him not to leave me a slice. Mwhaha.

hehe. A long story to tell you I got new measurements =)

Making judgements....

So, I can't help it. I always pre-judge people. LoL. For a girl that isn't slim, trim, or at all on track with the fashion game that should make me feel a bit ashamed, but I think it is just a human trait.

I've been talking to a guy on the internet for about 6 months now. Not a blogger, but another World of Warcraft (WoW) player. He was in town for a convention, so my fiance and I chose to meet up with him. I guess he wasn't exactly what I expected to see. I always think that "gamers" are younger, but I'd guess he was 5-10 years older than us. He seemed nice enough, but a little shy. So here I am reflecting on all that and all I keep thinking of is, "wonder what he thought of us" okay, I'm more self centered than that. I wonder what he thought about me! Did he see?!!? Did he see a "girl-next-door", a "lard-ass", an outgoing personality, or someone shy and withdrawn?!?!

Don't you wish sometimes you could be a fly on the wall after you leave the room. *sigh* It would be such a great trick for meeting new people and interviews. Just my random thought of the day =)

Happy B-day to me!

Hi all --

It was my birthday a couple of days ago and what a great b-day it was! Honestly, I didn't do anything "cool" or "neat", mostly just sat around the house, but for some reason it was very satisfying. I think maybe because I didn't get crazy high-hopes about winning millions of dollars (I like going go Vegas for my b-day) or having everyone in the world stop to wish me a happy day. LoL. I was cool with just hanging out with the fiance, playing video games, and enjoying eachother's company.

We've made up since my last rant. LoL. Sometimes I truely don't understand where he is coming from! Maybe Hamihari is right and this is just "male talk" that begins irritating me, but after our little spat, he has been trying hard to make up. It actually really cracked me up, the otehr night at the gym I was doing the elliptical. He asked what my goal was, when I said 5 minutes, he told me to try to do 5 and 1/2 minutes. LoL. Well, we were on side-by-side machines, so after about 4 and 1/2 minutes, he looked over and said I was 'doing great' and that I all ready looked skinnier. LoL. It cracked me up, I told him that was the kind of positive encouragement I was looking for --even if he was lying through his teeth. A good chuckle kept me on the machine until the 10 minute mark. I doubled my goal (but legs feel like jelly today! LoL)

I agree very much with what DietCokeRocks (Chris) posted. A marriage/relationship really has to thrive on good communication. Actually, I got my degree in communication. LoL. My fiance and I do communicate very differently. When I joke around, a lot of time he hears it as me mocking him. When he jokes around, a lot of time I hear it as mean/hurtful. We've gotten light-years better with eachother by discussing the hurt feelings, and trying to alter/correct our behaviors. It is just every-once-in-awhile we blow up at eachother. We've been living together almost 3 months and hadn't had any type of fight yet....it was bound to happen =0) I like being able to blog out anger. LoL. It helps me see the arguement from another position, almost like a 3rd party. Having other people weigh in helps me a bit too. It is all a game of perspective.

So, just to lend a bit of perspective on my life....

I met my fiance before I started my senior year of high school. He is two years older than me, so he had all ready graduated and started to work full-time. When we met, I was stick skinny. My parents have 5 other children, so we never went out to eat. LoL. I blame the majority of my fat body on making bad decisions in restaurants over the past several years =) I was so busy with school, extra activities, and working (not to mention having a boyfriend) that I weighed no more than 110 pounds. Now, I weight 195 pounds. That is a lot of extra weight to put on! So, I think my fiance still sees a mental image of me at 110 pounds. That's what he wants back. I've told him several times that a girl never gets her 17 year old body back, but yeah....he isn't quite convinced yet. Now, my fiance, has always been "thick" I hate to say overweight, because I don't generally see it as being that, but he'll tell you he is a fat-ass. He has such a negative-connotation of himself, that I honestly think sometimes when he is lecturing me, he is really reflecting on himself. On what he wished others had said or done to motivate him. I continue to let him know that his form of encouragement does not work. He continues to screw up. We continue to have harsh words every 3 months or so --and then we are back to normal. LoL. Probably not the "most" healthy relationship, but as long as we continue to work on it together, talk it over later, and try to make steps in the right direction, I am happy.

When "funny" isn't funny....

So, I'm trying to decide if I over re-acted the other day. I probably did somewhat, but in other ways, I feel completed justified in my response.

Yesterday, I got up at the same time as my fiance. As I've said before, he is the only one that works right now (yay for having a bread winner!), so I packed up a lunch for him and sent him out the door. My sis and her 4 children (4 boys under the age of 4! eek!) wanted to take me out for lunch for my birthday, so I kicked around the house for a little bit, played some computer and then headed towards her house.

When I got to her house, her hubby offered to take care of the youngest boy (turning 1 later this week!) while we went out. So, I had lunch with my sister and nephews (two, two year old twins and a four year old). Lunch with them is always a bit of an adventure, but they are really very well mannered for their age. My sister and I got to have a nice chat in-between offering drinks, dodging unwanted food, and reminding the children to use their "inside voices". It was a good time, but I was tuckered after all that play.

My mother-in-law to be has been having a bad time at work lately. She just hasn't been enjoying herself at all, so I asked sis if she'd mind stopping by her work real quick to show off the kids. My MIL *loves* small children. She seemed really happy/excited to see them, said it cheered up her day --so I was really happy. Bad thing is, she asked why her son, my fiance, hadn't been over to see them lately. That just breaks my heart! I told her he'd be by soon (lies!) and left.

When I got home, I was tired, but our lawn was out of control. It HAD to be mown! It has been 100 degrees + here lately, so it has been "too hot" to mow, or then it rained for 3 days so it was "too wet" to mow. I decided I better do at least half the yard before my fiance came home from work. So I mowed the front and side yards (I've got to go do the backyard in a few minutes --bleh!) and got inside a few minutes before the fiance phoned to say he was coming home. At this point I was truely tired, but I changed into my workout clothes and waited for him to show up.

We got to the gym and it was more packed than normal. His shoulder has been hurting him, so I suggested he might want to lay off the arm/shoulder/chest weights and he about bit my head off telling me he was an adult and could make his own decisions. So, I went ahead and did the rest of my workout circuit without him. After weights, we always hop on a cardio machine. His machine of choice is the elliptical, but I much rather use the treadmill. I'm just not comfortable enough with "physical movement" yet to really go over the top --and when I do elliptical I can't hardly walk the next day. This is where that whole "up your intensity" speech comes back into play. After 20 minutes of going on the treadmill, he comes over and tells me I'm going to do 5 minutes on the elliptical. First, I'm all ready hot and sweaty at this point. Second, I never like being told what to do. Third, he criticized me for not going fast enough on the treadmill (even though the heart monitor said I was in the right "burning zone". Fourth, and what truely was the "last straw", he Mooed at me. Yes, he made cow noises at me. What a way to motivate an all ready tired girl.

I got on the elliptical, did my 5 minutes and left the gym with him. He lectured me for another 10 minutes in the car about how I wasn't trying hard enough. How I wasn't being a good workout buddy. At this point, I'd had enough. I told him I WAS trying hard and for it all being new to me I thought I was doing a pretty spectacular job. He mooed at me again. I blew up and told him not to make cow noises at me. That it was rude and hurtful. He told me I couldn't take a joke --and the reason I couldn't take a joke was probably because there was a little too much truth in the joke for me. In my mind, I translate that as him saying "you are a cow". I am pissed, I am angry, I am hurt, so I go to explain this to him and he turns up the radio in the car so I can't be heard. I've let him lecture me for 15 minutes and then he turns up the radio when it is my turn to speak. How disrespectful can you get???

*sigh* I'm beginning to think about going to the gym during the day and letting him go by himself at night. If I couldn't feel changes in my body, if I wasn't sore the next day, if I wasn't able to make a muscles appear where previously I couldn't, I might believe that I wasn't pushing hard enough in the gym. I do feel different though, so him saying I'm not trying hard enough is pretty much making me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't like that feeling and I don't want to live in that kind of angry environment.

My favorite part of the story probably isn't the fact that he said that "mooing" at me was a joke (and doing it again even after I said it hurt my feelings). My favorite part is probably the fact that I cooked dinner when we got home and he chose to eat his after I'd finished mine. He also ate his in the other room away from me. As of this morning, he still isn't talking to me. I tried to make nice with him before bed --mind out of the gutter!-- just threw a joke or two out there and let them vanish into the silence. Sometimes I wonder if I'm marrying a man or an 8 year old boy.

*sigh* I finish with the thought that I love him and remembering that our "fighting styles" have never been very good together. He hurt my feelings yesterday --I told him that, I acknowledged it myself --I've forgiven, but not forgotten at this point. I don't want to fight about it anymore though. To me, it feels like I should be the one angry. Funny thing is, he is the one that has choosen to not speak to me. Moral of the story is, sometimes funny just isn't funny