*sigh*

I have been very bad the past week. I am disappointed in myself for that reason and because I continue to make excuses for that "badness"

My fiance's grandmother passed away last weekend. Needless to say, it threw my world into a flurry of un-expected activity. I never know quite what to say to someone when a family member or friend dies. I will say, however, it is kind of like an extreme bootcamp to be introduced into the family. The week is over and done, but with it came a lot of eating out with family as a form of coming together and bonding --as well as pure stress relief. I hate the fact that I use food as a reward, as stress relief, as boredom relief, etc. Why can't it be what it is meant for....a form of sustance and nothing more! Pure and simple, food is a bonding tool for me. IF I can't overcome that fact, then I need to start eating healthier when I go out to eat. hehe. I was good and didn't get any sweets! at least that is a small step in the right direction.

How long should it take to buy a house? Before my fiance and I decided we should start looking we both agreed we wouldn't fall in love with any particular house right away. *sigh* Apparently he forgot that part of our agreement. We've looked at fewer than 10 houses and he is ready to buy. He has put me in charge of getting loan pre-approval and good faith estimates on mortgages and closing costs. Which I say to him, "gee, thanks!" That would be in my most sarcastic tone of voice by the way. hehe. Nothing like being put in charge of a task you know *nothing* about. I made several phone calls today, but apparently nobody was in their office. So, tomorrow I will make follow up phone calls.

Over the weekend, my father and fiance's mom and dad came to look at the house he is in love with. I shouldn't put all the blame on him, I am in love with quite a few features too. However, as with most places, it is going to take a lot of work. I wish I could have Chris from Diet Coke Rocks come fix it up for me. She always seems to be painting or cleaning. I'm sure she'd knock out all the projects! The basement of this house is completely unfinished. We'll have to hang sheetrock, putty and paint it by ourselves. We'll have to put in a drop ceiling and decide if we want to put a toilet down there...eek!...it just isn't what I thought of when I started looking at purchasing a home. I always thought I'd move in and all that stuff would be finished for me. In some ways, I think it will be really fun/neat to put our mark on the house. We've even talked about putting in a little wet bar in the basement! In other ways, it is going to be a project we have to work on for years and years. Everyone keeps saying, "well, over the next 4 to 6 years you can work on it" and I just keep thinking about the mess it will be for that entire time.

The house we are looking at was re-possessed by the bank. It has never been lived in before. Like I said in earlier posts, the USA is having some serious financial crisis things happening --among those is a HUGE fallout in the housing market. The house we are looking at was orginally listed by the builder for $212,000. The bank has it listed for $154,000 right now and IF we put a bid in on it we'll start out offering less. I know it my heart of heart that this place is a good deal and that it is beautiful, so why do I have such HUGE butterflies about buying it?

Last thought of the night, if you know anything about getting pre-approved for mortgage, or the whole mortgage process, I'd love to hear from you. I tell you what, I find the whole bullshit over complicated and just plain frightening!