Monday update

Happy Thanksgiving everyone =D This last week wasn't an absolute eating disaster, but I had my share of holiday fun =) My lil' sis celebrated her 20th birthday with some german chocolate cake and pizza hut pizza. Did I indulge? oh my yes! Then the next day was thanksgiving, which brought with it chocolate pie and pumpkin pie. hehe. I stepped on the scale today, Monday, about an hour ago to see my weight was...*dramatic pause*.....184.4. Not too bad everything considered.

Ironman aka Spider asked me what I'm studying this semester. This semester, the focus is on modern communication. So, I'm looking at a bunch of stuff like "does advertisement count as a form of rhetorical communication?" or, in other words, "are we, as a society, what we see on tv?" lol. I like this stuff. The class has a very post-modern feeling to it. Nothing can be categorized. Everyone's reality is their own, and though I may view it, their thoughts can never 100% accurately line up with my own. When I see a pizza hut commerical, I may think --Why can't I eat pizza and look like the skinny blond girl there. Whereas the girl sitting next to me might think something along the lines of --maybe I'll order pizza tonight and see if I can get any friends over. We saw the same commerical, but somehow a totally different message was transferred over the airways. I like that. I like trying to figure out what the message the advertiser was trying to send was, and then seeing how that message was received by the masses. A great example is the show Family Guy. Personally, I love the show. However, my very conservative friend thinks it is the coming of the anti-christ (gotta love living in the Bible belt). Same show, I see it as a fun social commentary and she sees it as pure evil =)

On a similar note, I really, really, REALLY find myself intrigued by online communities. I'm an avid gamer. I love World of Warcraft. I never thought I'd be a fan of the Mass Marketed Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs) but I've made friends online that I'd visit in a heartbeat. I've never met them in person, but someone we've shared enough through a make-believe landscape that I'd like to get to know them in real life. =0) The same concept goes for a lot of online blogging. I mean, be honest! Hasn't there been somebody's blog that you've read for the past couple of months/years and thought they sound like an interesting person to meet. I'm interested in studying how that intial communication takes place, how the bonds/relationships form, and how they develop over time. I know, I know...I'm a geek! But the truth of the matter is, I find it absolute facinating that I'm talking to people around the world about the same things. Weight loss, rowdy/lazy kids, house work, finding a job, etc. There are a lot of shared bonds between us, even if we're millions of miles away. Number one bond being that need for communication. To know someone out there is listening. To have the ability to communicate our feelings, even if it is just with ourselves in a personal blog.

*steps down off of soapbox* sorry, I get passionate sometimes, just throw something and I'll generally shut up =0)

Let's see. Today was an awful day for food intake. I was really, really, REALLY craving McDonalds this morning. I caved and bought a double cheeseburger. the whole time I was eating it, I just kept thinking to myself " you better enjoy this 26 grams of fat you're eating" which of course, somewhat lessened the enjoyment. It was yummy though. Dinner was half of a small tostinos pizza. Once again, I knew it was evil as I put it in my mouth, but yummy. Follow that up with a snack of buttery popcorn and a few dark chocolate pieces thrown in for a little bit of sweetness and you've got a recipe for a naughty day for food intake. hehe. Little sis got a hot chocolate maker for her b-day, she brought down some for me. *smacks lips* Yeah, I'd hate to actually try to count calorie intake and or fat intake for the day. I am resolved to be much better tomorrow. However, knowing that I've got a BIG presentation to plan for on Wednesday and an 18 page paper to start writing isn't helping that resolve much. You know what I think *may* help that resolve??? A big fat shiny engagement ring. My boyfriend and I have started ring shopping! I am happy and excited and nervous all in the same second. The wedding wouldn't be for *at least* another year, but still something to consider when I'm thinking about what is going into my mouth.

I'm going to do another shout out here. I am a lazy, lazy, LAZY little girl. If you have any recipe ideas that are healthy, I'd love to have them posted here OR give me a link. I'll make sure to link back to your blog and give credit to you for finding the recipe. HELP!! Please!! Growing up, my mom never forced any veggie down my throat other than corn. I ate my first salad when I was 15 years old! That was seriously my first encounter with even considering eating lettuce. Any help at all would be much appreciated.

*hugs* take care bloggers!

A fun thing from Linda's blog

Lets101 Quizzes - fun'>http://www.lets101.com/blog/quizzes">fun online quiz

Craziness

Omg!! This week is going to be fun, but absolute craziness. My boyfriend has taken the week off of work (he is required to use up a certain amount of vacation days, or lose them), so I'll be driving an hour back and forth to school this whole week. hehe. Like I said, craziness! We've both said we are going to try to encourage eachother to "eat well", but the fact that there are 3 different kinds of ice cream in the freezer leads me to believe that we may be fooling ourselves. But, I think we're both set on at least making informed choices and thinking about it before it goes into our mouths.

I found a recipe on yahoo for alfredo that is "low fat" that I'm thinking I'm going to try next week. It isn't going to taste as yummy as the "real deal" but it sounds good. Since that is one of my all time favorite foods, it is worth a try. I'll report back how it turns out. I think I'll put some chicken in mine to up the protein and make it a more filling meal. I may try cutting the recipe in half since it is just the two of us (my sis and I) eating here.

Have a great week everyone! I'll catch up with you later.

P.S. Hey Chris, you are right about my little sis. When I was home over the weekend, talking to my mom, she asked, "So how's raising a teenager going for you?" Grr! hehe

A new week

Welcome to a new week. *sigh* I really hate typing the following phrase, but it seems necessary. Nothing new going on here. I don't type that to be self-depricating, I only type it because it is true.

I've been working on setting some goals for myself, but I find all ready that I'm struggling with just daily goals. Geez! When did I become so lazy? An old friend from high school sent me an email the other day to ask what was going on in my life, and I answered truthfully. "not much" LoL. We haven't talked in a year, and that was pretty much what I came up with. I mentioned the masters degree and the fact I'm with the same b/f --but that was about all I could come up with to talk about. He thought I was blowing him off. =0/ Somewhere along the line, not only did I lose most of my ambition/drive, but I also lost a lot of my social abilities. I wonder if my weight has something to do with that. I am certainly a lot more self consious now. I don't just think I can flirt my way out of most situations (oh to be 17 again!). But, I also have found myself wondering a lot about different things....

I've often talked about my little sister. She lives here with me, and honestly, love her to death, but she drives me batty. I mean, sometimes I have to leave the room because she annoys me so much. What an awful thing to say, but in some ways, I wonder if she doesn't annoy me because she is too much of a reflection of myself. Now, let go ahead and warn you now that if you continue reading you may find yourself ankle deep in self-analyzation, a.k.a. BS. =)

So, here is what I'm thinking. Little sis annoys me because she refuses to be a self starter. She ignores things hoping they will go away. She claims to not notice "problems", but I refuse to believe she doesn't process that the sink is completely full of dirty dishes, that she leaves every light on in the house, or the million other little annoying things she does. So, why do I want to strangle her when she does this stuff, but I make excuses and allowances for myself when I refuse to go to the gym, don't work on my masters thesis, or accomplish any housework?!?! Why? Because it is different *rolls eyes* I'm a hypocrite. You know those realizations that cause bile to start slowly creeping up your throat, that is kind of one for me.

My boyfriend has been begging for over a year now for me to tell him what motivates me. Boy, oh boy, oh boy! Wouldn't the person that figured out how to bottle motivation be a billionaire in no time! So let me think for a moment....what motivates me?

1. Food. I know, I know, slap me on the nose and say I'm bad, but food has always been a motivator for me. I blame my parents (joking!). I remember as a kid, after music recitals, science fairs, etc. I'd get to go to McDonalds. Or, maybe I should blame the public school system! They used to hand out all you can eat buffet coupons to the kids on the "A" honor roll. I know it is wrong, but I still find myself offering "bribes" to finish school work, or even to do some sort of physical activity. So, food is a motivator for me, but anymore, it is a guilty motivator which doesn't do me a lot a whole lot of good. Nothing kills motivation quicker than guilt.

2. Praise. I'm a Leo. I can't help myself!! I love being showered in attention. Well, let me rephrase that, I love being showered in positive attention. A few years ago, I signed up to go to the gym with my b/f. Even though he is over-weight, he really is "into" the workout scene. He likes moving heavy stuff around. He took me through a work out, showed me how to use machines, and spotted me on the heavy weights. For the first week, it was a great experience. I loved the one-on-one time we had together. I loved hearing him say he was proud of me for taking that first step. I loved hearing about how great =D I mean, honestly, who doesn't love that pat on the back from the person they love! But, after about three weeks, those praises dried up. I wasn't advancing as quickly as he thought I should. I didn't always use the machines correctly. I was laughing and talking to people at the gym instead of being 100% focused and serious. No praise, no workout. Even worse, I cringe at the thought of stepping foot into a gym with him again. He doesn't understand, no matter how often I've tried to explain, the way he approaches workouts in not acceptable to me. I don't care what happens to young males in football camp, if I wanted to be yelled at, I'll go kick a police officer.

3. Grace of God. Heh, I didn't quite know what to call this one. You know those days when you wake up and feel like you've been blessed. You have a clear picture in your head of what you will acomplish that day, and nothing will stop you? I consider those days granted by the grace of God. I know, they most likely are a product of my own making, but sometimes they just seem so ordained.

My weight is up a little bit so far this week, but I blame that on TOM. No, I haven't been eating out of control or anything like that, but I am up 2 pounds. I have a feeling those will be gone in no time though. Oh, for dinner tonight I had Healthy Choice Sausage. It was actually pretty good!! It tasted almost exactly like a normal kielbasa (sp??) sausage. Only 2.5g of fat though, in comparison with 7+ grams of fat in normal sausages. It was a good change of pace for tonight's dinner =) I couldn't find it on the healthy choice website but their site does have a couple of tastey recipes I'll be checking out later.

Take care everyone in blog land!! =D