Weighty Issues

Well, heck...

2009-04-06T08:09:00.001-07:00

My weight continues to go up. What the heck is going on? My food intake has been about the same. If anything, I wasn't eating enough points with that Taco Soup (2 or 3 points a cup --I don't remember which with a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese thrown in for fun making it 5 points per bowl) Maybe my body was reacting poorly to undereating? I wonder how quickly your body can decide to go into "starvation mode" I'm not really buying it...but I'm pretty bummed that the scale is moving in the wrong direction. =(

I'm about to get some major motivation for eating better and getting off my butt more often. Today, I think I"m going to go try on wedding dresses. We'll see if any of them fit. LoL. I'm going to try to take pics (hopefully the dress shop doesn't mind) so I can see what areas I *really* need to improve on. I guess I all ready kind of know though....I really need to hit some cardio (get rid of fat) and tone up my arms. I don't know why, but they seem to be getting flabbier as my stomach gets flatter. LoL. If the scale didn't tell me that I'd lost *some* weight --I think I'd begin to doubt it.

Off to the dress shop I go! Hopefully I'll post some pics today or tomorrow.

omg! not only did I fit in wedding dresses....I actually looked really good in some of them. The one I liked the best was $800. Jeez! I think my sister might be right. It might be time to look into renting a dress =0p

you know those days...

2009-04-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

You know those days when you wake up thinking you "feel skinny"? I woke up feeling that way this morning. I just felt slim and trim...so I pulled out the scale and I was up almost 2.5 pounds. WTH? LoL. Oh well, I still feel slim and trim....so *rasberries scale* that's what I think of that. This is wednesday, official weigh in day is tomorrow. Hope it goes back down before then!

Boo to goals...

2009-03-31T08:48:00.001-07:00

Well, I was kind of down on myself the other day. Those "goals" I created are all ready WAY off track. I weighed in at 166 last Thursday, so hopefully I'll be near 164 this thursday. I'm not holding my breath too much though. It isn't that I haven't been motivated to be good, it is just a lack of motivation in general. I think getting turned down for one too many jobs has got me feeling a little "bleh". I'm not eating to overcome this bleh feeling....just not pushing to be overly good either.

I was feeling pretty unsuccessful yesterday, but you know what....I've lost 30 pounds. That's in and of itself is an accomplishment =) I've decided I"ll celebrate that 30 pound loss and slowly keep chugging away. I'm only 16 pounds away from my first mini goal. Another 30 pounds from being smoking hot. LoL. Okay, maybe not quite *that* hot, but I'm on my way. I might be going slower than I'd like....but I'm at least working on it =)

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Ugh...

2009-03-09T11:18:00.001-07:00

I ate CRAP all weekend long. I hate that. I hate that I apparently lack all willpower to stop eating stuff I know is bad for me for one reason, and one reason alone. LAZINESS. It is so much easier to go flop down at a restaurant or order a pizza than to cook something for us. Sad thing is, for teh most part, I think the food we produce at home is just as tastey as eating out. I'm just too lazy to put the effort into planning the food in advance so we have all the bits and pieces here at home when I'm ready to cook.

So, step 1 to remedy that: Make a food plan.

Step 2 to remedy that: Actually stick to the food plan =0p

Is it absolutely evil to think your diet partner is trying to sabatoge your "eating well" goals? =0p My fiance and I are in on the WW plan together. However, lately, he has been getting worse and worse about suggesting we "just grab a pizza" or "open a bottle of wine". I mean, honestly, he *knows* I'm not going to say "no" to wine because more often than not it is partnered with me getting to fill up a hot bath and just relax. Argh! What an evil little man! LoL.

Funny thing is, I just got off the phone with my sister and asked how her weight loss goals were progressing. She told me she'd fallen off the wagon, but "I'll stick to it tomorrow". Isn't it amazing how we always promise ourselves tomorrow?

Daily chores...

2009-03-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

Laundry (dark and light colors) washed and folded
Carpets Vaccuumed
Dishes Washed
Trash taken out

That's what I've gotten accomplished today. I still need to put away the dishes, clean the kitchen, take the newspaper to the recycle place, take books to the library, and buy cupcake mix (and make them) for a birthday. I don't think it is all going to get done.

I fell off the diet hardcore, but I'm wroking really hard to get back on it. I haven't made it back to the gym yet, but maybe I'll go out walking tonight (it is a beautiful day). I've tried to write down my goals, hopefully that will help keep me on track a little bit better. I'm going to try to post them on the side bar. I'm also thinking about maybe starting to post pics. I don't know why but I hate the idea of losing anonimity. But maybe I need to break out of that feeling. I think having extra weight makes you "blend in" --ever notice that people don't want to hang out with the fat kid? That's me. I took time out of life and used extra weight as an excuse. Maybe it is time for that to end.

Help! I've fallen....

2009-02-27T15:42:00.000-08:00

So, Valentines day threw me off the weight loss wagon...and I landed hard. We were doing better, getting back on track until the phone rang monday morning. Phones ringing at 7am are never good. A family member who had bad health issues to begin with had passed away.

Off the wagon again. It is almost ridiculous to say, but I honestly feel out of control with my eating. I can't stop craving the "bad stuff". Monday begins a new week and a renewed focus on improvment...but I've got to get the candy back out of the house!!!

23**************

The fallout from Valentines day...

2009-02-20T12:37:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful V-day! I know mine was good/fun. I asked for my fiance to make me alfredo *drools*. It was great! He also made some steaks. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I made some oatmeal cookies?

Long story short, the day was great, but the night was filled my tummy hurting. The next day was somewhat painful too. LoL. I guess eating "healthier" has me unable to out-and-out splurge on foods. IT was all fabulous though. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

With all the indulgences this week, I was a little afraid to step on the scale this morning. Friday morning has been the traditional weigh in day though --so I figured good, bad, or ugly, I better do it. *drum roll please*

168.2 --same as the last weigh in. I'm soooooo excited. I know, doesn't really "mean" too much, but I'm excited I stayed the same. I have to commit to being exceptionally good this weekend and upcoming week. Must say "no" to the pizza --which has recently been sneaking back into the weekly food rotation.

Being at 168 pounds is very cool for a number of reasons. First off, it means I've solidly lost 20 pounds. Depending on where I "start" my weight loss from. (I know I weighed as much as 198 before I started kind of yo-yo dieting) I also know that I've lost another WW point. So I have to be smart about that. I guess it really signifies that I'm trying to do this though. The first 10 pounds could have been written off to water weight and such....this is a commitment. I'm going to do this! I'm going to lose the weight. 30 more pounds to go.

I look forward to seeing some size 12 jeans in my future. Another 10 pounds to lose before I start trying on some old dresses and begging to be taken out on a date =0p

Clean, clean, clean....

2009-02-10T08:48:00.001-08:00

That's my plans for the day. Forgive me for not being overly excited about it though >.<>.< So, my plans for making him happy used to revolve around food. To be honest, I haven't decided 100% not to make something *awful* for dinner like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy with some oatmeal cookies afterwards. I don't want to blow our diet --but it would be nice to see him smile. I just don't want to depress him later in the week when he doesn't see a loss. *sigh* So insead of cooking, I'm going to start cleaning up the mess we call a house. To be fair, it really should be spotless considering I can't seem to find a job. This "economic downturn" in the USA is really making it difficult to compete for a job. I'm thinking later this week I will call a temp. agency and see if I can start finding at least some part time types of jobs. I'd like the experience, and we need the money. I'm tempted to post my resume on the blog. See if anyone has a suggestion. I'm tired of playing a housewife (no offense to anyone that enjoys the occupation --I'm just not very good at it). After a couple of months of having my efforts to keep the house clean go unnoticed, it just became easier to let the mess pile up. Now I clean once a week at best. I'd be fired if I were a maid =0p Speaking of being fired...my car needs to be! Okay, maybe it just needs a check up instead of being chucked out, but the "check engine" light came on yesterday. Very sad. It has been such a good car --hopefully it just needs a cheap fix. Two things: 1. If you live in the Kansas City, MO area and you are aware of a job (entry level is fine) that could utilize a communication degree --please post! I'll take any random ideas. I comb the careerbuilder site often, but would be interested in any personalized, possible job opportunities. Even just leaving a company name would be great. 2. I need some WW breakfast ideas. With 24 points a day (soon to be 23!!) I don't like spending much more than 3 points for breakfast. Sometimes I splurge with 6 points, but then I have to be careful with lunch --eating something like a can of Progresso Soup.

I'm worthless. I got very little cleaned today. I did wash 3 loads of laundry though. The last load is in the washer now. Hopefully I'll have it in the dryer before fiance comes home.

Do you ever have those days where you look back and wonder where the day went? I swear I didn't get anything accomplished today, which makes me wonder, what did I do? And honestly, I don't know where the time went >.<

Things to do tomorrow...

2009-02-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

Library --return books DONE
Walmart --buy cilantro, spray butter, and possible V-day present! DONE
Home Depot --get our window shades "shaved"
Helzsburg --see if I can get my "free gift" and my jewelry checkup DONE
Recycle Papers --see if I can get the billion of newspapers to the recycle bin at the school DONE

Wash laundry
Check mail DONE
Call lady that hit my poor car (and get insurance info)
*gulp* weigh in DONE

I'm taking a page out of Diet Coke's book --or maybe I should say blog -- I listed what all I was going to do today, and because it was written down, I finished the majority of it up =)

I went by Home Depot, and had a lovely chat with the guy back in the window shade dept. He told me I'd been told incorrectly about how much they could take off the side of the shades. I had been told 1/8 of an inch, but he said they could only do 1/4 of an inch. That's a lot more off than I want/need. Damn it! So, I called the fiance and he told me to go back later and try talking to the people I talked with the first time. Looking back, I wish I had just kept the stupid things in the car and had them cut the first time around. Oh well, hind sight is always best.

My experience at Helzburg was actually really good today too. I don't know if the "economic crisis" in America has made companies realize they actually need to provide customer service now, or what, but I was shocked. Normally they treat me like I'm not good enough to be in the store. Maybe I'm just "old enough" now to look like I could possibly have money. I don't, but looks can be deceiving. My only other thought is, has losing almost 25 pounds really made me that more "approachable" or made me look like that much less of a "slob"?? I mean, honestly, I feel better about myself, and I can understand confidence translating into better service, but it really does make me wonder if I'm not just more socially acceptable at this point. How sad would that be? What a knock on society. Even at my heaviest, I was always well groomed, clean, polite, etc. Just makes me a little bit curious.

A new year....

2009-01-23T08:17:00.001-08:00

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been posting. With all the holidays and such, it has been hard trying to "keep on track" with everything. I've been doing okay with the weightloss since starting weight watchers. I don't know how much I weighed technically when starting, but just from the WW alone, I'd say I've dropped 10 pounds =)

My fiance is doing WW with me. I worry about him a little bit because he doesn't eat anywhere near his point value. According to the book, he should have around 40 points, but generally he doesn't break 30. Me, on the other hand, I'm supposed to have 24 points and I either come right up to the 24 mark, or I'm way under it. I can't quite seem to find a happy medium.

Every Friday is weigh in day. It is also the day we have a "date night" and cheat on the diet. So, first thing Friday morning, we jump on the scale and record our weight. I bet you can't guess what I'm avoiding doing now =0p I think maybe I gained weight this week. So sad =0/ It would be the first week since starting WW that I had actually gained. *shakes fist* darn that boy of mine for convincing me he *had* to have pizza hut on Sunday! I peaked at our food journal --we right down everything we eat and point values -- because it is where we record our weigh-ins at and he is down another 2 pounds. Grrr! Anyway, I weighed in first thing this morning, but something I figured out last week was if I weight 30 minutes to an hour, after waking up, my weight seems to go down. I don't know why necessarily, it isn't the morning tinkle or anything silly like that...but hey, if it can get me back to last week's weigh in numbers, I'm happy =)

*stretches arms* I'm sore! I went and worked out yesterday. I really tried focusing on my arms/back --and geez am I ever feeling it now. With the help of a gym worker, I've fallen into a kind of "circuit" when I go to the gym. I still don't love going, but I do feel better after walking out. Yesterday, though, I wasn't paying much attention during my circuit and when I pushed up on the "hip sled" machine, I realized I'd made a very dumb mistake. I hadn't noticed that some jackass had taken the pads off the shoulder bars of the machine. Ouch! I don't like being the type of person to root against other people, but I really hope that the New Year's Resolution crowd will do one of two things:

One, I hope they quit. I don't wish anyone to fail, but if you aren't going to take it at least a tiny bit seriously and if you are going to bang the weights and break the equipment because you don't care enough to take care of it --well, good ridence. I don't like the gym, but that doesn't mean I'm slamming stuff around, talking on my cell phone, and just being generally annoying. Oh, and while I'm on this rant, let me get one more thing off my chest....if you aren't using a machine....DON"T SIT ON IT! I hate the people that pull up a seat on a machine to talk on their cellphones >.< I don't like having to say "excuse me, could you please move so I can work out" =0/ Oh, and can anyone help me with some advice on this one, some of the more serious gym people are really into "super-setting" right now. I was doing my leg workout and she asked if I could stay off of 3 different machines because she was doing sets --that it'd only be like 5 minutes. What the hell? Should I compromise my work out because she is training for a competition? *off rant*

Second, I hope they learn to succeed and treat the gym with respect. I hope they can see that all the machines are getting broken and they change their behavior. I hope they are just as tired as I am of having to check a machine to see if it is in working order before hopping on it.

Okay, I've stalled long enough. I guess I better actually go do my weigh-in. I'm sad because the weight is going to be up, almost as sad as I am that I feel "bleh" today with a cold. *stalls a little longer* 172.8 --last week was 172.2. I'll take that over gaining an entire pound =) Maybe my muscles are trying to grow =0p

Thank you

2008-12-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to shoot off a "thank you" for answering my questions to Dietcoke. I really do appreciate it.

Weight Watchers has taught me two things. One, I'm very food possessive. Probably comes from living in a house with 5 other siblings. When dinner was ready, you didn't want to be at the end of the passing-around-bowls chain or you got less than everyone else. Never was good to have a mean sibling ahead of you, one that knew a dish was your favorite so they'd take more and leave you with less. The second thing it has taught me was that I need to stay aware of what is going into my mouth. I'm pretty bad about going for the "easy" food. I eat TV dinners and such all the time. Problem with that is they aren't all that filling and the "cheapest" one I eat, or the one I thought would be the best for me, is 13 points. Only getting 25 points a day (probably should be 24 now!) and blowing 13 on a lunch that isn't satisfying is just plain crazy.

The weather here has been kind of nasty. Very cold and snowing. I think yesterday it warmed up to a balmy 13F. *shivers* So I haven't been making the journey to the gym very well. I have been trying very hard to follow the WW scale and so has the fiance. It is definitely working for now! I'm down to 176 pounds as of this morning and my personal scale. I'd like to swing by the gym just to see if it is about the same as my scale, because last time I weighed in there, about two weeks ago, it said I was 183.

When I do head back to the gym, I'll bring back my measurements. They were all down pretty much last time except for my chest. Don't know how, but he seemed to think I'd gained back the 1/2 inch I'd lost. Only funny because I wear the exact same clothes on weigh in days just to make sure clothings isn't giving me a little extra boost. Oh well, of all the place to maintain and/or gain weight those are probably the best.

*hugs*

Help Please!

2008-11-11T11:44:00.001-08:00

I need help please! My fiance and I have been talking about doing weight watchers. His momma has done the program and when she was on it, she lots almost 50 pounds. So, I have a couple of questions.

We have all her old paper work --to check the points of foods, calculate excersise, etc. What I need help with is answering a couple of questions, and maybe just a little advice. So, if you can help with any of these questions I'd really appreciate it.

Question 1: I get 24 points a day --Fiance gets 41 points per day. How exactly are we supposed to eat together if he has almost an additional 20 points! I know he is supposed to have "more" food than me, but that seems like a lot of extra. To be honest, I'm almost jealous!

Question 2: I read about the difference between the flex plan and the core plan. I think the flex plan would be the best to start with --making sure we actually count the calories of what we eat. My question is --does anyone have suggestions as to what made the individual programs work better for them?

Question 3: Anyone have recipes? I'd reall love to see some of them posted. Or, do you know a website that has lots of recipes added to it?

Question 4: Real life, or online subscription?

I'm sure I'll have more questions as the program goes on --we haven't actually started it yet, just starting to read about it now. I appreciate any and all help =)

Must go back...to the gym!

2008-10-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

hehe. Instead of going back to the gym, I went on vacation! It was an impromptu visit to Hartford, CT. How fun! I got to try lots of yummy seafood (that we don't get here in the midwest) and see some fun sites. We spent an entire day hanging out in Boston and I finally got to see the ocean (my first time ever!). All in all, a fun time was had...but I am dreading going back to the gym. I don't physically "feel" like I"ve put tons of weight back on (eating fast food and pizza for a week has to have done something though) but my fiance keeps moaning that he is sure he gained 20 pounds. Oh well, what is done is done --I had a great time and I'm sitting here in my "gym clothes" as I type. Must go back...

Must go back!

2008-09-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hehe...so it has been awhile since I posted. Nothing like saying "I'll be right back" and having all hell break loose. =0p Old measurements are in red, new ones in blue!
Old
Bust: 41.5
Waist: 40
Hips: 45
Thighs: 23.5
Arms: 13.25

New
Bust: 41
Waist: 39.5
Hips: 45
Thighs: 22.5
Arms: 13

Okay, not a huge difference, but there was a difference there! Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure that difference will remain viasable. I seemed to have taken the last 2 weeks off of working out >.< struggling ="0p">

The house has been going slow. We bought all the paint, just haven't put it on the walls. Again, the lack of time to do stuff. We also need to stain the back deck before the patio completely rots away. *sigh* I've been applying out for jobs, but no luck yet.

Will try to make it back here soon. I've been reading blogs, just no time to update my own.

New measurements

2008-08-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

The gym I am going to is actually very neat. The "trainers" will ask to meet up with you once a month, or so, and when you do meet they switch up your workout. They re-assess goals, check weight, measurements, etc. So, I made an appointment for my fiance to switch up his workout routine. He was getting bored, so I was happy to do it for him. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I apparently was signing myself up for something new as well. hehe.

Well, we both got re-measured. I'll bring my new measurements home tonight (hopefully! post them tomorrow) The trainer cracked me up. He never knows quite what to do with my fiance and I, since we're always joking around. He always looks a little bit frightened when a joke flies. For example, when he went to take my hip measurement, my fiance looked at me and said "honey, do these pants make my arse look big?" I just groaned because I knew what was coming next. He responded with "babe, those pants don't make your arse look big, your arse makes your arse look big" This joke almost always cracks me up. I've kind of got a big booty. Not too out of proportion with the rest of me, but anway.... The trainer's jaw just hit the floor. He looked back and forth between the two of us until I started busting out laughing. He let out a little nervous chuckle and started backing away slowly. hehe. Poor guy! After a couple more bad jokes were exchanged, he started to loosen up. He revealed that he'd had some bad experiences doing measurements. I guess people had yelled at him in the past for telling the truth about just how big they really were. hehe. What a funny thought. Being mad at a virtual stranger because YOU measure bigger than you think you should. Too funny.

So, part of the check-up is to see how much weight has been lost. I could have killed my fiance at this point because he just HAD to have PizzaHut the night before. Grrr. I hadn't eaten much, but still, I had eaten it! As we started walking towards the scale, I told the trainer I knew how much I weighed and it was exactly what he'd written down last time. He told me that wasn't likely considering we'd been in the gym almost every day for a month --but I was right. LoL. He kept trying to move the numbers, but they were the same. I try not to have the fiance look at mine (even though he does) so I try not to look at him (even though I'll see it on the card at some point) when he is being weighed. I'm fairly sure he'd gone up a pound though. Ha! Silly boy had eaten all the pizza leftovers for lunch! Teach him not to leave me a slice. Mwhaha.

hehe. A long story to tell you I got new measurements =)

Making judgements....

2008-08-08T15:40:00.001-07:00

So, I can't help it. I always pre-judge people. LoL. For a girl that isn't slim, trim, or at all on track with the fashion game that should make me feel a bit ashamed, but I think it is just a human trait.

I've been talking to a guy on the internet for about 6 months now. Not a blogger, but another World of Warcraft (WoW) player. He was in town for a convention, so my fiance and I chose to meet up with him. I guess he wasn't exactly what I expected to see. I always think that "gamers" are younger, but I'd guess he was 5-10 years older than us. He seemed nice enough, but a little shy. So here I am reflecting on all that and all I keep thinking of is, "wonder what he thought of us" okay, I'm more self centered than that. I wonder what he thought about me! Did he see?!!? Did he see a "girl-next-door", a "lard-ass", an outgoing personality, or someone shy and withdrawn?!?!

Don't you wish sometimes you could be a fly on the wall after you leave the room. *sigh* It would be such a great trick for meeting new people and interviews. Just my random thought of the day =)

Happy B-day to me!

2008-08-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

Hi all --

It was my birthday a couple of days ago and what a great b-day it was! Honestly, I didn't do anything "cool" or "neat", mostly just sat around the house, but for some reason it was very satisfying. I think maybe because I didn't get crazy high-hopes about winning millions of dollars (I like going go Vegas for my b-day) or having everyone in the world stop to wish me a happy day. LoL. I was cool with just hanging out with the fiance, playing video games, and enjoying eachother's company.

We've made up since my last rant. LoL. Sometimes I truely don't understand where he is coming from! Maybe Hamihari is right and this is just "male talk" that begins irritating me, but after our little spat, he has been trying hard to make up. It actually really cracked me up, the otehr night at the gym I was doing the elliptical. He asked what my goal was, when I said 5 minutes, he told me to try to do 5 and 1/2 minutes. LoL. Well, we were on side-by-side machines, so after about 4 and 1/2 minutes, he looked over and said I was 'doing great' and that I all ready looked skinnier. LoL. It cracked me up, I told him that was the kind of positive encouragement I was looking for --even if he was lying through his teeth. A good chuckle kept me on the machine until the 10 minute mark. I doubled my goal (but legs feel like jelly today! LoL)

I agree very much with what DietCokeRocks (Chris) posted. A marriage/relationship really has to thrive on good communication. Actually, I got my degree in communication. LoL. My fiance and I do communicate very differently. When I joke around, a lot of time he hears it as me mocking him. When he jokes around, a lot of time I hear it as mean/hurtful. We've gotten light-years better with eachother by discussing the hurt feelings, and trying to alter/correct our behaviors. It is just every-once-in-awhile we blow up at eachother. We've been living together almost 3 months and hadn't had any type of fight yet....it was bound to happen =0) I like being able to blog out anger. LoL. It helps me see the arguement from another position, almost like a 3rd party. Having other people weigh in helps me a bit too. It is all a game of perspective.

So, just to lend a bit of perspective on my life....

I met my fiance before I started my senior year of high school. He is two years older than me, so he had all ready graduated and started to work full-time. When we met, I was stick skinny. My parents have 5 other children, so we never went out to eat. LoL. I blame the majority of my fat body on making bad decisions in restaurants over the past several years =) I was so busy with school, extra activities, and working (not to mention having a boyfriend) that I weighed no more than 110 pounds. Now, I weight 195 pounds. That is a lot of extra weight to put on! So, I think my fiance still sees a mental image of me at 110 pounds. That's what he wants back. I've told him several times that a girl never gets her 17 year old body back, but yeah....he isn't quite convinced yet. Now, my fiance, has always been "thick" I hate to say overweight, because I don't generally see it as being that, but he'll tell you he is a fat-ass. He has such a negative-connotation of himself, that I honestly think sometimes when he is lecturing me, he is really reflecting on himself. On what he wished others had said or done to motivate him. I continue to let him know that his form of encouragement does not work. He continues to screw up. We continue to have harsh words every 3 months or so --and then we are back to normal. LoL. Probably not the "most" healthy relationship, but as long as we continue to work on it together, talk it over later, and try to make steps in the right direction, I am happy.

When "funny" isn't funny....

2008-08-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

So, I'm trying to decide if I over re-acted the other day. I probably did somewhat, but in other ways, I feel completed justified in my response.

Yesterday, I got up at the same time as my fiance. As I've said before, he is the only one that works right now (yay for having a bread winner!), so I packed up a lunch for him and sent him out the door. My sis and her 4 children (4 boys under the age of 4! eek!) wanted to take me out for lunch for my birthday, so I kicked around the house for a little bit, played some computer and then headed towards her house.

When I got to her house, her hubby offered to take care of the youngest boy (turning 1 later this week!) while we went out. So, I had lunch with my sister and nephews (two, two year old twins and a four year old). Lunch with them is always a bit of an adventure, but they are really very well mannered for their age. My sister and I got to have a nice chat in-between offering drinks, dodging unwanted food, and reminding the children to use their "inside voices". It was a good time, but I was tuckered after all that play.

My mother-in-law to be has been having a bad time at work lately. She just hasn't been enjoying herself at all, so I asked sis if she'd mind stopping by her work real quick to show off the kids. My MIL *loves* small children. She seemed really happy/excited to see them, said it cheered up her day --so I was really happy. Bad thing is, she asked why her son, my fiance, hadn't been over to see them lately. That just breaks my heart! I told her he'd be by soon (lies!) and left.

When I got home, I was tired, but our lawn was out of control. It HAD to be mown! It has been 100 degrees + here lately, so it has been "too hot" to mow, or then it rained for 3 days so it was "too wet" to mow. I decided I better do at least half the yard before my fiance came home from work. So I mowed the front and side yards (I've got to go do the backyard in a few minutes --bleh!) and got inside a few minutes before the fiance phoned to say he was coming home. At this point I was truely tired, but I changed into my workout clothes and waited for him to show up.

We got to the gym and it was more packed than normal. His shoulder has been hurting him, so I suggested he might want to lay off the arm/shoulder/chest weights and he about bit my head off telling me he was an adult and could make his own decisions. So, I went ahead and did the rest of my workout circuit without him. After weights, we always hop on a cardio machine. His machine of choice is the elliptical, but I much rather use the treadmill. I'm just not comfortable enough with "physical movement" yet to really go over the top --and when I do elliptical I can't hardly walk the next day. This is where that whole "up your intensity" speech comes back into play. After 20 minutes of going on the treadmill, he comes over and tells me I'm going to do 5 minutes on the elliptical. First, I'm all ready hot and sweaty at this point. Second, I never like being told what to do. Third, he criticized me for not going fast enough on the treadmill (even though the heart monitor said I was in the right "burning zone". Fourth, and what truely was the "last straw", he Mooed at me. Yes, he made cow noises at me. What a way to motivate an all ready tired girl.

I got on the elliptical, did my 5 minutes and left the gym with him. He lectured me for another 10 minutes in the car about how I wasn't trying hard enough. How I wasn't being a good workout buddy. At this point, I'd had enough. I told him I WAS trying hard and for it all being new to me I thought I was doing a pretty spectacular job. He mooed at me again. I blew up and told him not to make cow noises at me. That it was rude and hurtful. He told me I couldn't take a joke --and the reason I couldn't take a joke was probably because there was a little too much truth in the joke for me. In my mind, I translate that as him saying "you are a cow". I am pissed, I am angry, I am hurt, so I go to explain this to him and he turns up the radio in the car so I can't be heard. I've let him lecture me for 15 minutes and then he turns up the radio when it is my turn to speak. How disrespectful can you get???

*sigh* I'm beginning to think about going to the gym during the day and letting him go by himself at night. If I couldn't feel changes in my body, if I wasn't sore the next day, if I wasn't able to make a muscles appear where previously I couldn't, I might believe that I wasn't pushing hard enough in the gym. I do feel different though, so him saying I'm not trying hard enough is pretty much making me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't like that feeling and I don't want to live in that kind of angry environment.

My favorite part of the story probably isn't the fact that he said that "mooing" at me was a joke (and doing it again even after I said it hurt my feelings). My favorite part is probably the fact that I cooked dinner when we got home and he chose to eat his after I'd finished mine. He also ate his in the other room away from me. As of this morning, he still isn't talking to me. I tried to make nice with him before bed --mind out of the gutter!-- just threw a joke or two out there and let them vanish into the silence. Sometimes I wonder if I'm marrying a man or an 8 year old boy.

*sigh* I finish with the thought that I love him and remembering that our "fighting styles" have never been very good together. He hurt my feelings yesterday --I told him that, I acknowledged it myself --I've forgiven, but not forgotten at this point. I don't want to fight about it anymore though. To me, it feels like I should be the one angry. Funny thing is, he is the one that has choosen to not speak to me. Moral of the story is, sometimes funny just isn't funny

The big question....

2008-07-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

So, my fiance finally asked me the "big question" --obviously since I all ready refer to him as the fiance it wasn't about marriage =0p No, he asked me "have you lost any weight?" *sigh* I was honest and said no. He has been encouraging me to "up my intensity" at the gym (something that is more than a little annoying at times) and lecturing me on eating healthier. The concept of the gym, nutrition, and the overall phyisical/mental trasistion required to "get healthy" is a big deal for him. He likes the stuff (more power to him!), but as it is with most things, the doing has been rough. I feel like I am putting effort out there, I just can't decide if it is paying off yet.

The scale is the same weight --but is it just me or are these jeans a little looser than they used to be? Is it just me, or have my thighs shrunk just a little bit? Is my bra fitting just a little bit better? Is my tummy just a tiny bit smaller? I keep trying to look at myself for these changes. Problem is, I see myself every day. I'm not truely sure the changes are there. I think I'm going to take a picture of myself later today to try to get a better objective. I know, only 2 weeks into the whole "gym thing" I can expect miracles, but I do expect something!!!

My fiance's belly has been sick the last couple of days. Not sick "throwing up" but sick not feeling well. Heh, when he described his symptoms to me (feeling bloated, sharp occasional cramps, soreness, feeling drained, etc.) I almost thought he was describing having a period =0p LoL. I thought about saying it out loud, but since I'm not a very nice person when I feel ill, I thought better of it. Anyway, because he wasn't feeling well, he decided to go out and indulge himself. He brought home brownies and cookies. Ugh! If I wasn't going to lose weight before, that sure won't help! I ate a brownie with him last night, and a piece of cookie dough. I'm going to try very hard to let him eat the rest of the pan of brownies on his own. I didn't even *really* enjoy them, so why indulge? The cookie dough on the other hand *drools* --well, cookies are a definite downfall for me. Maybe I'll "up my intensity" at the gym tonight just to not feel too bad about the cookie dough I'll eat later. One piece isn't good --but as long as I avoid eating 5 or 6 I should be okay.

On a bright note, when I flex my arm I can actually feel a muscle now. It it still covered in fat and it isn't very big --but it is there!

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Lots to think on

2008-07-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

So, I've been working out almost 2 weeks now. Why haven't I lost any weight? I mean, even without changing my eating routine, shouldn't I have lost something? No bull-hockey about muscle weighing more, I know it isn't muscle growth stunting weight loss. I'm kind of depressed about it.

The lady at the gym (one of the trainers) said she'd give me some "healthy" recipes to try out. I'm kind of excited, but they have to be "good" for me (a picky eater) and the fiance. I'm willing to try some new stuff, but living on such a tight budget, I hope she adds a lot of bean recipes to the mix =0p Beans are good for you, and cheap!

I'm currently working my getting my Masters degree. I've shared that information before, but what I haven't shared is that I'm totally stuck. I'm tired of school. Which is sad, but it is true. I've been thinking seriously about applying for some jobs. My mom suggested an internship to me today. My thought was "I'll go check it out!" The internship is in the HR office of a hospital. I thought it all sounded good until I checked out the time requirement. It is a 2 year internship! They might as well call it an apprenticeship. LoL. Good news is, interns make $30,000 a year (not "good" money, but nothing to sneeze at). Once you are done interning it has a very high "permanent hiring" rate. Those people generally make $48,000 a year. So, here is the question. Do I put the Masters on the back burner? Do I agree to giving away 2 years of my life? Do I take a job that has never particularly interested me before (HR isn't really where I dreamed I'd go with my life)?

I don't know the answers to those questions yet. One thought is, it can never hurt to get interviewing practice. Another thought is, gosh we could use the money.
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1 week in...

2008-07-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

Yay! I went an entire week of excersise! I am kind of proud of myself. Especially since at least once the fiance tried to talk me out of it. Right now, we are taking Sundays off to give our body a little rest. Which works out well because that is the day I go to visit my family and attend church.

So, my fiance keeps asking me "is it getting easier" when it comes to lifting weights. After a week, I think I have to say "no" My arms are exceptionally weak it seems. I know it is a growing process, but I worry a bit that I'm not growing at a rate that is exceptable to my fiance. I keep telling him that I am trying, but in my heart of hearts I don't think he believes me. He keeps saying that I have to learn to like going --well, after never in my life wanting to excersise, I have a hard time believing that I'll one day wake up and be eager to go off and do it. It is a means to an end for me. I want to look better, feel better, have more energy, and not look like a mass of dripping flesh when I go to interview for jobs. It is something that *has* to be done --not something that I have to enjoy. I'm not saying that to just be stubborn, I'm just not a very physical person --if I was a physical person, I'd probably never have gotten into this shape in the first place.

If anyone has recipes posted on their blog, or knows a good site for recipes, please let me know =) If I'm getting my "work-out" portion of life into order, I'd like to start working on my diet portion as well.

The hard stuff

2008-07-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

So, when you go to the gym and they get out a tape measure, that's the hard stuff. I'm looking at it as a "this tells me where I am" point though. So, on the first day at the gym, this is how I measured. Hopefully in a month, I'll get an update. (one tiny side note --the guy doing the measuring was terrified to touch me. hehe. I think having my fiance in the room made it hard for him to wrap a tape measure around my chest, so I think some of the measurements may be a tiny bit off --but since the same guy will measure me next time, I'm just going to consider that fact my +/- factor. hehe)

Bust: 41.5
Waist: 40
Hips: 45
Thighs: 23.5
Arms: 13.25

Resting Heart Rate: 79 (this is actually high for me. My heart is normally around 72, but as I pointed out to the little F*ck --who I actually like-- he'd just taken my weight. Of course it was a little high! *grumbles*)

Blood Pressure 126/80 (he told me this may be completely un-accurate. I guess the batteries in the machine were dying. Again, that blood pressure isn't "normal" for me. Mine is normally low)

Which bad news to post first --%of body fat? or weight? hehe. *takes a deep breath and remembers this is just a "starting point"

Starting weight: 193
% of Body Fat: 40.8

Today will be my 7th day in a row at the gym. I haven't gotten too adventurous yet. I work out on the machines I was told to use under the supervision of my fiance. He is one of those guys that has been in a gym since football in high school. No, that doesn't necessarily make him "fit" --but he definitely knows what is going on. He likes learning about workout/fitness/nutrition, but much like the rest of us, he is subject to his bad habits.

Every time I go to the gym, I can't help but want to hop on the scale. It is a means of redemption in some ways. A shout out to the world that I am trying to do something. And, the pain in my arms/legs has to be at least equivalent to one pound lost, right? =0p

2008-07-17T13:24:00.000-07:00

hiya =)

I am still painting. Who knew that paint was so freakin' expensive? We've spent almost $500 so far. Yikes! We've painted the front room (tv room), the entry way, the master bedroom and bathroom, and one of the upstairs bedrooms, and the upstairs hallway, and guest bathroom. We still have one bedroom, kitchen, downstairs bedroom and tv/game room to finish up the inside painting. Outside we need to stain the deck and re-paint the outside railings. Ugh.

The date for the wedding has been tenatively set for April of 2009. I've weighed in at just under 200 pounds again (198), so the fiance and I have joined a gym to make some "wedding day" goals. I'll try to actually keep this thing updated. I miss the support.

StResSed oUt

2008-03-13T15:51:00.000-07:00

OMG! I am so stressed out. I've been eating like a cow. I'm back to 190 pounds and so frustrated because of it. I'm hoping that a lot of it comes back off quickly when I start drinking water again.

Good news is, we got the house!!!! I'm excited about it, but nervous and frightened all at the same time! Not to mention stressed out!!!

The government gives us 48 hours to have the utilities turned on and inspections done. Of course, the utility companies can't quite coordinate to make that happen. We have to turn on the water first, electricity second, and gas third. When I called to do that today, the utility company said the electricity could be turned on at any time. So, I'm cheating a bit and turning it on early. I sure hope this doesn't catch up with me and cause problems!

I scheduled an inspection for Wednesday afternoon. I'm fairly sure this is going to upset the agent. I feel bad for using up all her time in some ways, but in other ways I just want to scream "You are making almost 4,000 from us! You can spare some time!!!" I called several inspection companies, and the cheapest I could find was $415. Ouch! Add that cost to the required $75 re-winterazation fee (the government requires!) and the $45 charge for turing on the gas (we'll have to pay twice!) and the $26 fee for the electricity (we may have to pay this twice too!!) the fees are really starting to add up. *whimpers* This is really getting to be too much stress!

We still haven't been able to pick a mortgage company. It is between two different people. I've got an appointment on Friday to speak with one of them. I think I'll probably make my decision at that point. This guy keeps telling me the other guy's quote is "too good to be true" but in all honesty, it isn't that much different from what guy #1 has quoted us. I need a magic crystal ball to look into to tell me what will be the best in the long run.

Sorry I haven't been updating much. I'll try to get inside pics up eventually. We are really going to need to do some re-painting. Who knew that would be the "easy" part of the whole process!

House 2

2008-03-04T09:15:00.001-08:00

Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I thought I'd post what house 2 might look like. The odds of us getting this house are pretty slim. It is actually put up by the government. They kind of do a process like eBay --people put in bids on the house and then you either win or you don't. Like I said, our hopes aren't up on this one, but thinking we might try it anyway.

It is a pretty house from the outside. A little plain --I love the windows the last one had--but the 3 car garage is nice and the price is in the $150,000 range which is pretty great. Inside it needs a lot of paint. I swear the people who had this house decided to paint almost every wall a different, bright color.

I'm really getting tired of this house hunting process. It is so stressful. I feel so bad for Chris trying to sell her house, I can't even imagine that extra stress. Our friends tell us the best thing to do is "not settle". That sounds so easy, but I'd really like to have this whole process over. I started thinking about it, as long as the house has sunshine coming into and "decent" bedrooms and a nice kitchen and bathroom I'm set. You know, they say before you start looking for houses make a list of everything it has to have. In the beginning, I wanted a fireplace so badly! Now, with all the new construction being gas fireplaces (expensive to turn on!) I don't really have to have it anymore. Now, I want a nice kitchen, a whirlpool tub, a shower, a back deck, and a decent sized backyard. Those are pretty much my "have to have" things. I would very much like if the master bedroom's closet wasn't in the master bathroom --don't know why, but that set up just annoys me.

Any advice from those of you that all ready have a house? What is something you wish you had now that you didn't think to look for in the beginning?

2008-02-29T09:46:00.000-08:00

We didn't get the house. In some ways I'm really broken up over it. It was the fiance's "dream house", so he is totally bummed. In other ways, I'm a little bit happy. The backyard of the house was backed up to a highway --granted, not a lot of extreme traffice, but who knows what may happen in the future.

Back to square one in looking. Hehe. I find it so funny that you all are loving the snow pictures while I'm here wishing it would warm up. It is SOOOO cold! Snow only makes it worse.

I've caught up a bit on school work, but I'm still fairly behind. I have the fiance and I scheduled to see something like 8 houses this weekend. Hoping one might be "the one" I wasn't super eager to put our financials to the test so soon a month ago --but something has clicked on in my brain that says "go for it!" I can't help but think in some ways that it would be amazing to have a space that is all our own. In other ways, I know how much extra stress trying to divide up house chores and figuring out how the dishwasher should be loaded (still one of the silliest fights I've had to this day with my future mother-in-law! I put plates where bowls should be!) and remembering that we now have to live "cheap" with no more outtings to restaurants.

*hugs* take care everyone! I'll try super hard to catch up on blogs ASAP.

House Drama!

2008-02-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

That's the house! It is a split level house, so as soon as you come in the front door, you have to choose if you want to go up or downstairs. At the top of the stairs is a room with a big cut-out in the wall for a big screen TV. Immediately straight is the kitchen. I think the kitchen is the room I'm the most in love with in the whole house. OMG it is amazing!!! First of all, it has tons of lighting in a vaulted ceiling. That on its own would be very cool --what makes it better is that it goes up to a skylight. It is a pretty amazing sight. There are 3 bedrooms upstairs. They are all nice and big. We'll probably make one of them a guest room and the other a computer room --at least for now. The laundry room is upstairs and has a nice cabinet and shelf all ready built in. =0) The downstairs is "unfinished" --and when I say that, I mean completely unfinished! I can still see the insulation poking out of the walls. They need to be sheetrocked and everything that goes along with that process. I guess this will a "several year" project. We've talked about making it everything from a wet bar, to a video game room/movie room, to just a cool lounge type atmosphere to hang out in with friends.

So, that's the house in a nutshell. It is really pretty. I like it a lot. I hope we get it, but we'll see what happens. The fiance and I are going to go talk to mortgage people wednesday, if all goes well we might put in a bid!

Going to head towards bed --I'm so far behind in school work that I'm going to try to get up super early tomorrow.

sigh

2008-02-05T20:46:00.000-08:00

I have been very bad the past week. I am disappointed in myself for that reason and because I continue to make excuses for that "badness"

My fiance's grandmother passed away last weekend. Needless to say, it threw my world into a flurry of un-expected activity. I never know quite what to say to someone when a family member or friend dies. I will say, however, it is kind of like an extreme bootcamp to be introduced into the family. The week is over and done, but with it came a lot of eating out with family as a form of coming together and bonding --as well as pure stress relief. I hate the fact that I use food as a reward, as stress relief, as boredom relief, etc. Why can't it be what it is meant for....a form of sustance and nothing more! Pure and simple, food is a bonding tool for me. IF I can't overcome that fact, then I need to start eating healthier when I go out to eat. hehe. I was good and didn't get any sweets! at least that is a small step in the right direction.

How long should it take to buy a house? Before my fiance and I decided we should start looking we both agreed we wouldn't fall in love with any particular house right away. *sigh* Apparently he forgot that part of our agreement. We've looked at fewer than 10 houses and he is ready to buy. He has put me in charge of getting loan pre-approval and good faith estimates on mortgages and closing costs. Which I say to him, "gee, thanks!" That would be in my most sarcastic tone of voice by the way. hehe. Nothing like being put in charge of a task you know *nothing* about. I made several phone calls today, but apparently nobody was in their office. So, tomorrow I will make follow up phone calls.

Over the weekend, my father and fiance's mom and dad came to look at the house he is in love with. I shouldn't put all the blame on him, I am in love with quite a few features too. However, as with most places, it is going to take a lot of work. I wish I could have Chris from Diet Coke Rocks come fix it up for me. She always seems to be painting or cleaning. I'm sure she'd knock out all the projects! The basement of this house is completely unfinished. We'll have to hang sheetrock, putty and paint it by ourselves. We'll have to put in a drop ceiling and decide if we want to put a toilet down there...eek!...it just isn't what I thought of when I started looking at purchasing a home. I always thought I'd move in and all that stuff would be finished for me. In some ways, I think it will be really fun/neat to put our mark on the house. We've even talked about putting in a little wet bar in the basement! In other ways, it is going to be a project we have to work on for years and years. Everyone keeps saying, "well, over the next 4 to 6 years you can work on it" and I just keep thinking about the mess it will be for that entire time.

The house we are looking at was re-possessed by the bank. It has never been lived in before. Like I said in earlier posts, the USA is having some serious financial crisis things happening --among those is a HUGE fallout in the housing market. The house we are looking at was orginally listed by the builder for $212,000. The bank has it listed for $154,000 right now and IF we put a bid in on it we'll start out offering less. I know it my heart of heart that this place is a good deal and that it is beautiful, so why do I have such HUGE butterflies about buying it?

Last thought of the night, if you know anything about getting pre-approved for mortgage, or the whole mortgage process, I'd love to hear from you. I tell you what, I find the whole bullshit over complicated and just plain frightening!

Weight loss sucks

2008-01-24T20:05:00.001-08:00

Hey guys and gals! I'm thinking of doing something kind of new. I'm going to try out answering my comments in one color, and then switching over and blogging in another. Hope that makes sense to ya'll. =0)

Hamiharri --

No, I don't recall exactly what my little sister said to me, but I do think she was parroting back something I'd said before. I've hung wedding dress pictures inside the food cabinet and on the fridge and beside my alarm clock so I have a visual "check" everytime I wake up, and every time I decide to eat something. That girl in the wedding dress is there reminding me that I eventually would like to look beautiful for my "big day". So, I think my sister said something like "that wedding dress is going to make you look like a fat cow" because she was referring back to a self-made checks-and-balance system of created for myself. Ultimately, you can be totally supportive of your sis losing weight, but you can't make that decision for her. What is that saying? It's easy to talk the talk, but not so easy to walk the walk???

If she actually wants to commit to trying to lose weight, the best thing I ever did for myself was create a food diary. I don't know what her living situation is, so this might not work for her, but I've put a dry erase board on my fridge. For me, I like to keep track of calories, fat, fiber, and protein intake during the day. It helps me see where I've been lacking. Some days I don't make it to my appropriate calorie intake--that's bad--it means I'm going into "starvation mode" and I'm going to gain weight. Other days, I splurge and eat something like Pizza Hut --that's an overload of calories and fat. However, what I've learned is that if I keep track of what I'm eating, I actually make a choice about it. I can choose to splurge on something naughty (and I'm generally okay with it because I thought about that choice. Nothing worse than eating a couple of cookies and then thinking "why did I do that?" because it wasn't a conscious decision) or I can force myself to be aware that I'm not getting enough calories.

Second thing that I did that helped was start a blog. It gives me a chance to read other people's stories. Understand that I'm not the only person out there struggles. It lets me write down and acknowledge why I make the food decisions that I do. For me, it once again lends a control element to the whole process. Kind of a review process for the day, or the week.

I do have pics of my engagement ring, but not here with me at the moment. I'll have to try to upload some --I love my ring, but it is very simple. Just a diamond solitaire. The wedding band wraps around underneath the solitaire so it flanks both sides of the diamond with smaller diamonds. I love it so much. I wanted a very simple wedding band that looked like one ring and that's what I got. =D

So, this week in review. Hehe. I managed to write down my food log once. I have kept track of my overall calorie intake, so that's good. I think I'm going to try to start marking the times when I eat too. Like today, I know that I had 220 calories and 6.5g of fat after 9pm. That's no good! Who knew hot chocolate was that bad for you! It was really tastey though, and it did the trick of warming me up, which is what I was after. After having been very good this entire week, I didn't mind too badly giving myself this one indulgence. Of course, tomorrow, Friday, will be another cheat day.

So, this morning when I woke up, the scale read 183.4. Yay!! Since I generally tip the scales at 188+ (I started this week at 190.3) I'm feeling really good about eating well. I even used the gazelle first thing when I woke up this morning. I'm talking with my fiance as I write this and we're discussing possible "healthy alternatives" for our eating together this weekend. That makes me happy, because it is so easy to run out and get ice cream "because it is the weekend" or to go out to eat repeatedly "because it is the weekend". I really, really, REALLY look forward to getting a house that is exclusively ours. I know it will still be a struggle to eat right and not introduce those "bad foods" into the house, but it will be great to have a little extra control.

I keep using the word control in tonight's post. I don't know if that is necessarily a healthy thing. It isn't necessarily so much "control" as it is the ability to make an educated decision. To think about my actions before I take them. To understand what it is I'm taking into my body. To understand that I have to do an entire hour on the treadmill just to burn off an indulgence. G.I. Joe had to right. Knowing truely is half the battle.

I called an agent to do a couple of walk-throughs this weekend. I'm a pretty firm believer that honesty is a good policy, so I was very upfront with him. Told him that we'd just started looking and that we weren't completely sure what we wanted yet. I also told him that we were okay with being classified as a "low priority" because we weren't planning on buying for at least several more months. However, I am not okay with the fact that he said he'd call me with appointment times today and he did not. There is a difference between low priority and blowing someone off. I really hope he calls tomorrow, because of all the agent bios I read, I thought he'd fit our learning/shopping/exploring the best. *sigh*

I'll let you know how everything goes sometime next week. Have a great weekend everyone!

Tuesday -catch up!

2008-01-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

Hello all--

First off, let me say I did NOT get that ice cream. *pats self on back* Okay, to tell the truth, I had very little to do with not getting the ice cream. When I picked up my little sis and asked if she wanted to get some sweets with me, she asked if I wanted to be a fat cow in a wedding dress. hehe. Okay, she didn't quite take it that far, but she got the point across. So, no ice cream for me. As for binging, I held off until the weekend. What exactly is it about the weekend that makes it a magical "okay" to binge time? I read several blogs and most of us seem to struggle with the lack of schedule on the weekends. I try to plan out food schedules, and sometimes that helps, but they generally seem to get the best of me.

Thanks for the advice on house buying. Yeah, for the most part, almost everyone says not to get emotional about the new purchase. We haven't even started looking yet, in fact, I just sent off my first email inquiring about a property and asking if we could do a walk-through. My hope is to hold off on buying for *at least* 6 months; however, the fiance is very ready to move into his own home. I don't blame him, if I still lived with my parents I would be anxious to get out too. I just hate the fact that I honestly don't think he realizes how lonely he will be in a house all by himeself, nor do I think he realizes the extent of "brokeness" being a home owner will entail. I don't know, would you sacrifice your spending habits for the chance at some peace and quiet? hehe. No matter how good it sounds, I found that I got awfully lonely living by myself. My little sister drives me batty, but it is still nice to be able to cook for someone other than just yourself.

I find it kind of odd that houses in Canada are so expensive. The housing market in the USA is currently in a nose-dive. Tons of forclosures from people that tried to take an adjustable rate mortgage and couldn't keep up with the balloon payments, as well as lots of builders stuck with houses they thought they were going to sell, but with the market down, can't. One of the houses we've been watching was listed at $169,900 for the first couple of months we started toying with the idea of buying a house. Yesterday, I looked to see if it was still on the market and it is, but now is priced at $154,000. Yay!! Actually, market analysis are predicting that the housing market will continue to fall for at least the next 6 months or longer. Sounds an awful lot like the US is going to go into a recession =0/ what a great time to be getting ready to come out of college, again. *sigh* I really should be able to come out of school and make at least $40,000 --but I'm thinking if I can get a job making $30,000 to start off at I'll be doing good.

I started another blog of sorts. I'm going to try to track my food choices there. Hopefully I'll do it on a daily basis. I need to get back on sparkpeople to see what my daily "goals" for calories should be. I've always heard to shoot for about 1200 if you are a girl, so that's what I'm going for so far. Today's final numbers:

Calories: 1255 Fiber: 12 Fat: 22 Protein: 74 --2.5 liters of water

I am exceptionally proud of the water intake, but know that I need more fiber and probably a little bit less fat. Oh well, at least I've made a start in the right direction. Recording the calories I eat per day *really* helps me decide that I don't need that 100 calorie pack of cookies at the end of the day.

What I really, really, REALLY need to do once I get my diet under control is make it back into the gym. I'm hoping by next month that the majority of people out there will be tired of their new years resolution to go to the gym and that I'll have the place to myself again. Fighting over work out equipment sucks.

I'm off to bed. Have a wonderful day ladies and gentleman!

Save me from the ice cream!!!

2008-01-16T17:32:00.000-08:00

So, the last two days I've eaten fairly well, until the night time. That is when the sweets craving really kicks up. Right now I'm trying to convince myself that I don't need a McDonalds caramel sundae *smacks lips* Even trying to remind myself of the 190 I saw on the scales earlier today isn't helping override the want for the food. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!

Well, at least I've worked drinking water back into my life. I've been drinking at least one liter a day, and often 2. Of course, I feel like I've been drinking beers and have "broken the seal" as often as I find myself needing to use the pisser. Oh well, that's good health for ya I guess =0p

I'm sitting in the school library right now. I should be paying attention to school work, but instead I'm playing with the new laptop my dad loaned to me. My parents are SOOOO great. In fact, probably a little too great considering how spoiled I am. Boy oh boy oh boy will I miss the free ride they have given (and continue to give) me.

Oh well, back to school work I guess. I have another hour and a half before my little sis will be out of class and ready to go home. I never should have offered to drive her up here, but the forecast was threatening snow and I know she hates driving in it.

Argh! Make me stop thinking about ice cream!! I've been doing so well, I think that might be the problem. I keep thinking to myself, reward yourself for doing well! but that is what my cheat day on friday is supposed to be for --ugh! I want to stay strong, but honestly, I think I've all ready talked myself into getting one.

Update!

2008-01-14T22:53:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness! SO much to tell you all! Let's start by answering the questions about the holidays.

There are TONS of presents under that tree! My mom and dad have 6 kids. Of those 6 kids, 5 of us are either married or in "serious" relationships. From those relationships, they have 10 grandkids. hehe. You can probably see how the presents start piling up!

The holidays were great for me. Lots of time relaxing and brainstorming about upcoming school project. Oh yeah, have I mentioned yet that I'm officially engaged! *girly giggle* No dates set for the wedding, we're thinking sometime next year. Before getting married, we're trying to buy a house --an interesting concept considering I made $0.00 in income this year >.< The fiance (hehe...calling him "fiance" vs. "boyfriend" makes me giggle) has a great job, but still frightens me to go into buying a house with only one job. Just giving a heads up that this blog may morph into a wedding/house shopping/weight loss blog. hehe. Life is about to get a lot more interesting.

So, on the weightloss front, today is probably a bad day to blog about it! I just got finished eating some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. Ever notice that when you decide to "be bad" you go all out? hehe. I was lazy tonight, so I ordered chinese and then made cookies. LoL.

I've trying new veggies as part of a new years resolution. I've also vowed to start getting water drinking back as a habit --instead of grabbing that ever-present and amazingly tastey diet coke. The fiance and I have also decided to start taking pictures of ourselves at least once a month. It is hard to track progress without some sort of reference point. He kind of gave me a "revelation" the other day. He asked me what I wanted to weigh at my wedding --with the basic response of less from me =0p Then he said, if you lose 3 pounds a month...a MONTH...you'll be 36 pounds lighter by the next year. 154 isn't an ideal weight for me, but it sounds like a lot of weight vs. 190. I read people's blogs that say they lose 3 pounds a week, surely I can lose at least 3 pounds a month and keep it off. 4 pounds a month, is 48 pounds --50 pounds lighter in the new year--1 pound a week. 5 pounds a month, is 60 pounds that could be off my body. By next year, I could be 130 pounds! I haven't been that light since high school. Breaking it down like that, makes it sound so much easier. LoL. I'll try to keep that in mind next cookie binge.

Well, I'm going to try to be back, but no promises. Right now, goal is to blog at least 2-3 times a week. *hugs*

Merry Xmas!

2007-12-20T14:25:00.000-08:00

Yay Xmas!

2007-12-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

Yay! Finals are over. I should know by Thursday *fingers crossed* what grade I'll be receiving in my class. This winter break, I HAVE to start working on my thesis. I at the very least need to get a solid idea put together.

I don't really know how to describe my coursework. It is not advertisement, or marketing based, it is deeper, and yet more generic than that. It is truely trying to understand language. To be able to understand why one person says "murder" while another says "abortion" while another says "free-choice". The ability to understand how language brings us together, and at the same time tears us apart. It can be applied to advertising, marketing, PR, community relations, etc. --but this degree isn't really targeted at any of those things. Sometimes I wish it was, so when people asked what I'm going to school for --or what I want to be when I grow up-- I could give a simple one word answer. I'll try to answer more questions if you have them, feel free to ask.

Now that finals are done and I have more or less a month off of school, I'm going to try to be really "good" with my food intake. All ready this morning I talked myself out of biscuits and gravy and into some oatmeal and fruit juice. Not quite as satisfying overall, but the much better food choice. So, easy to meet goals for the week:
1. Keep track of food intake.
2. Take fiber pills.
3. Do at least 2 workouts. (cardio, arms, legs, something! Just get moving!!!)

Time to go to the food market. I'll be back later *hopefully* to record food and reflect on the day.

-----------------------------------
I stayed really on track until dinner time. *Sigh* Isn't that the way of the world? I even saw the train wreck coming, but did little to stop it. I had mac and cheese for dinner --which is a no-no for me-- but at least paired it with some really yummy low-fat Healthy Choice sausage. The real killer was the cup of hot chocolate I had later that night. Boo! *slaps self on the wrist* I didn't even want it because I was cold, or because it sounded super yummy. I wanted it because I wanted something "soothing" to do while on the phone with the b/f.

Finals Week

2007-12-06T08:48:00.000-08:00

Sorry everyone, this week is the week leading up to finals. All projects and papers are due this week and next week we're being tested over everything we supposedly learned this semester. So...that means I'm eating everythng within my grasp (and not stressing over it --I've got a whole month with no school and the ability to work out when this is over) and desperately trying to catch up with where I should have been months ago. teehee

*hugs* Keep up the good work everyone. I can't wait to catch up on my blogs and start updating blogger once again.

Monday update

2007-11-26T21:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone =D This last week wasn't an absolute eating disaster, but I had my share of holiday fun =) My lil' sis celebrated her 20th birthday with some german chocolate cake and pizza hut pizza. Did I indulge? oh my yes! Then the next day was thanksgiving, which brought with it chocolate pie and pumpkin pie. hehe. I stepped on the scale today, Monday, about an hour ago to see my weight was...*dramatic pause*.....184.4. Not too bad everything considered.

Ironman aka Spider asked me what I'm studying this semester. This semester, the focus is on modern communication. So, I'm looking at a bunch of stuff like "does advertisement count as a form of rhetorical communication?" or, in other words, "are we, as a society, what we see on tv?" lol. I like this stuff. The class has a very post-modern feeling to it. Nothing can be categorized. Everyone's reality is their own, and though I may view it, their thoughts can never 100% accurately line up with my own. When I see a pizza hut commerical, I may think --Why can't I eat pizza and look like the skinny blond girl there. Whereas the girl sitting next to me might think something along the lines of --maybe I'll order pizza tonight and see if I can get any friends over. We saw the same commerical, but somehow a totally different message was transferred over the airways. I like that. I like trying to figure out what the message the advertiser was trying to send was, and then seeing how that message was received by the masses. A great example is the show Family Guy. Personally, I love the show. However, my very conservative friend thinks it is the coming of the anti-christ (gotta love living in the Bible belt). Same show, I see it as a fun social commentary and she sees it as pure evil =)

On a similar note, I really, really, REALLY find myself intrigued by online communities. I'm an avid gamer. I love World of Warcraft. I never thought I'd be a fan of the Mass Marketed Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs) but I've made friends online that I'd visit in a heartbeat. I've never met them in person, but someone we've shared enough through a make-believe landscape that I'd like to get to know them in real life. =0) The same concept goes for a lot of online blogging. I mean, be honest! Hasn't there been somebody's blog that you've read for the past couple of months/years and thought they sound like an interesting person to meet. I'm interested in studying how that intial communication takes place, how the bonds/relationships form, and how they develop over time. I know, I know...I'm a geek! But the truth of the matter is, I find it absolute facinating that I'm talking to people around the world about the same things. Weight loss, rowdy/lazy kids, house work, finding a job, etc. There are a lot of shared bonds between us, even if we're millions of miles away. Number one bond being that need for communication. To know someone out there is listening. To have the ability to communicate our feelings, even if it is just with ourselves in a personal blog.

*steps down off of soapbox* sorry, I get passionate sometimes, just throw something and I'll generally shut up =0)

Let's see. Today was an awful day for food intake. I was really, really, REALLY craving McDonalds this morning. I caved and bought a double cheeseburger. the whole time I was eating it, I just kept thinking to myself " you better enjoy this 26 grams of fat you're eating" which of course, somewhat lessened the enjoyment. It was yummy though. Dinner was half of a small tostinos pizza. Once again, I knew it was evil as I put it in my mouth, but yummy. Follow that up with a snack of buttery popcorn and a few dark chocolate pieces thrown in for a little bit of sweetness and you've got a recipe for a naughty day for food intake. hehe. Little sis got a hot chocolate maker for her b-day, she brought down some for me. *smacks lips* Yeah, I'd hate to actually try to count calorie intake and or fat intake for the day. I am resolved to be much better tomorrow. However, knowing that I've got a BIG presentation to plan for on Wednesday and an 18 page paper to start writing isn't helping that resolve much. You know what I think *may* help that resolve??? A big fat shiny engagement ring. My boyfriend and I have started ring shopping! I am happy and excited and nervous all in the same second. The wedding wouldn't be for *at least* another year, but still something to consider when I'm thinking about what is going into my mouth.

I'm going to do another shout out here. I am a lazy, lazy, LAZY little girl. If you have any recipe ideas that are healthy, I'd love to have them posted here OR give me a link. I'll make sure to link back to your blog and give credit to you for finding the recipe. HELP!! Please!! Growing up, my mom never forced any veggie down my throat other than corn. I ate my first salad when I was 15 years old! That was seriously my first encounter with even considering eating lettuce. Any help at all would be much appreciated.

*hugs* take care bloggers!

A fun thing from Linda's blog

Lets101 Quizzes - fun'>http://www.lets101.com/blog/quizzes">fun online quiz

Craziness

2007-11-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

Omg!! This week is going to be fun, but absolute craziness. My boyfriend has taken the week off of work (he is required to use up a certain amount of vacation days, or lose them), so I'll be driving an hour back and forth to school this whole week. hehe. Like I said, craziness! We've both said we are going to try to encourage eachother to "eat well", but the fact that there are 3 different kinds of ice cream in the freezer leads me to believe that we may be fooling ourselves. But, I think we're both set on at least making informed choices and thinking about it before it goes into our mouths.

I found a recipe on yahoo for alfredo that is "low fat" that I'm thinking I'm going to try next week. It isn't going to taste as yummy as the "real deal" but it sounds good. Since that is one of my all time favorite foods, it is worth a try. I'll report back how it turns out. I think I'll put some chicken in mine to up the protein and make it a more filling meal. I may try cutting the recipe in half since it is just the two of us (my sis and I) eating here.

Have a great week everyone! I'll catch up with you later.

P.S. Hey Chris, you are right about my little sis. When I was home over the weekend, talking to my mom, she asked, "So how's raising a teenager going for you?" Grr! hehe

A new week

2007-11-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

Welcome to a new week. *sigh* I really hate typing the following phrase, but it seems necessary. Nothing new going on here. I don't type that to be self-depricating, I only type it because it is true.

I've been working on setting some goals for myself, but I find all ready that I'm struggling with just daily goals. Geez! When did I become so lazy? An old friend from high school sent me an email the other day to ask what was going on in my life, and I answered truthfully. "not much" LoL. We haven't talked in a year, and that was pretty much what I came up with. I mentioned the masters degree and the fact I'm with the same b/f --but that was about all I could come up with to talk about. He thought I was blowing him off. =0/ Somewhere along the line, not only did I lose most of my ambition/drive, but I also lost a lot of my social abilities. I wonder if my weight has something to do with that. I am certainly a lot more self consious now. I don't just think I can flirt my way out of most situations (oh to be 17 again!). But, I also have found myself wondering a lot about different things....

I've often talked about my little sister. She lives here with me, and honestly, love her to death, but she drives me batty. I mean, sometimes I have to leave the room because she annoys me so much. What an awful thing to say, but in some ways, I wonder if she doesn't annoy me because she is too much of a reflection of myself. Now, let go ahead and warn you now that if you continue reading you may find yourself ankle deep in self-analyzation, a.k.a. BS. =)

So, here is what I'm thinking. Little sis annoys me because she refuses to be a self starter. She ignores things hoping they will go away. She claims to not notice "problems", but I refuse to believe she doesn't process that the sink is completely full of dirty dishes, that she leaves every light on in the house, or the million other little annoying things she does. So, why do I want to strangle her when she does this stuff, but I make excuses and allowances for myself when I refuse to go to the gym, don't work on my masters thesis, or accomplish any housework?!?! Why? Because it is different *rolls eyes* I'm a hypocrite. You know those realizations that cause bile to start slowly creeping up your throat, that is kind of one for me.

My boyfriend has been begging for over a year now for me to tell him what motivates me. Boy, oh boy, oh boy! Wouldn't the person that figured out how to bottle motivation be a billionaire in no time! So let me think for a moment....what motivates me?

1. Food. I know, I know, slap me on the nose and say I'm bad, but food has always been a motivator for me. I blame my parents (joking!). I remember as a kid, after music recitals, science fairs, etc. I'd get to go to McDonalds. Or, maybe I should blame the public school system! They used to hand out all you can eat buffet coupons to the kids on the "A" honor roll. I know it is wrong, but I still find myself offering "bribes" to finish school work, or even to do some sort of physical activity. So, food is a motivator for me, but anymore, it is a guilty motivator which doesn't do me a lot a whole lot of good. Nothing kills motivation quicker than guilt.

2. Praise. I'm a Leo. I can't help myself!! I love being showered in attention. Well, let me rephrase that, I love being showered in positive attention. A few years ago, I signed up to go to the gym with my b/f. Even though he is over-weight, he really is "into" the workout scene. He likes moving heavy stuff around. He took me through a work out, showed me how to use machines, and spotted me on the heavy weights. For the first week, it was a great experience. I loved the one-on-one time we had together. I loved hearing him say he was proud of me for taking that first step. I loved hearing about how great =D I mean, honestly, who doesn't love that pat on the back from the person they love! But, after about three weeks, those praises dried up. I wasn't advancing as quickly as he thought I should. I didn't always use the machines correctly. I was laughing and talking to people at the gym instead of being 100% focused and serious. No praise, no workout. Even worse, I cringe at the thought of stepping foot into a gym with him again. He doesn't understand, no matter how often I've tried to explain, the way he approaches workouts in not acceptable to me. I don't care what happens to young males in football camp, if I wanted to be yelled at, I'll go kick a police officer.

3. Grace of God. Heh, I didn't quite know what to call this one. You know those days when you wake up and feel like you've been blessed. You have a clear picture in your head of what you will acomplish that day, and nothing will stop you? I consider those days granted by the grace of God. I know, they most likely are a product of my own making, but sometimes they just seem so ordained.

My weight is up a little bit so far this week, but I blame that on TOM. No, I haven't been eating out of control or anything like that, but I am up 2 pounds. I have a feeling those will be gone in no time though. Oh, for dinner tonight I had Healthy Choice Sausage. It was actually pretty good!! It tasted almost exactly like a normal kielbasa (sp??) sausage. Only 2.5g of fat though, in comparison with 7+ grams of fat in normal sausages. It was a good change of pace for tonight's dinner =) I couldn't find it on the healthy choice website but their site does have a couple of tastey recipes I'll be checking out later.

Take care everyone in blog land!! =D

Smell my feet!

2007-10-30T23:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!

Not much to report today. I ate out a ton over the weekend. I was a little alarmed, but went ahead and weighed in this morning and my weight was....*drum roll* 181. WTH!?! I'm not upset to have not gained weight, but I just find it so odd that the body decides sometimes --BAM!-- no more. This is the weight I'm going to stay at.

Nothing new or exciting to report. I'm actually making a list of things I want to accomplish. I'm thinking I'll make daily, weekly, and monthly goals. Maybe 1 or 2 really long term goals, like being able to dress as something exceptionally slutty for next halloween =0p

My NSV for today: My sister and I went grocery shopping together. She decided she *had* to have some sort of cake, and sense she wanted it last week too, I figured she might as well indulge. Afterall, you have a craving for 2 weeks, it probably isn't just going to go away. She bought a 6 pack of cupcakes at the store. I ate one, she ate 5. hehe. yay me! and don't think I threw her under the bus either....she is a tiny little thing. She eats *all* the time and it has yet to catch up to her.

Hope everyone has a safe, fun Halloween night. I'm going to drive the hour to go visit my b/f. I'm not exactly sure why since it isn't a "big" holiday, but I feel sad being apart on special occasions.

TRICK OR TREAT!!!!

More of nothing

2007-10-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

*sigh* I have no structure or purpose in life. Now, I'm not saying that to be a jackass or one of those people that mope and groan about how awful life is.....my life is awesome....it just has little to no purpse. LoL.

You know those days where you look around and think to yourself, "what have I accomplished today?" That is the type of day I am having. What have I done. Well, I woke up (always a good start), ate a granola bar and drank a diet coke. Emptied the dishwasher. Listened to my little sister lament about being hungry. Cooked some lunch. Ate lunch. Talked to another sister on the phone. Emailed dad. Played video games --which in turn had me talking with my brother-- then ended up here wondering how it was all ready 3:00 in the afternoon.

I've always been a planner. I like oraganizing things, it is just the implementation of those plans that I struggle with....I have so many plans....but I do nothing with them. Instead I let the day pass without anything of significance being accomplished. I've got to start setting and meeting goals. Geez I need to get myself on track.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen

Wednesday Report =0p

2007-10-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay! I know I said I'd be back Tuesday. Nobody is going to believe me if I keep coming back late =0p But here I am!!

So, after a weekend of over-eating and a week of not being very good (mmm....chinese for dinner last night!) I am still 183 pounds. Hmm....that seems so wrong! I should be back up to 190, but don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I have been keeping busy around the house trying to get stuff organized, as well as busy in school work (less time for snacking!) so maybe that evened things out a little. Either way, I wish I had been good and dropped some weight this week because --insert drum roll here-- the boyfriend has off Thursday and Friday this week. I emailed him earlier today that I wasn't sure what time I'd be up at his house and he sent back a response of "...if you make it up here early, we can eat at your favorite restaurant" *giggle* I need to find a less fattening favorite restaurant =)

This weekend we have a wedding to go to. The b/f is actually a groomsman in the wedding, so we have go show up friday night for a rehersal too. Well, technically, I don't have to show up, but since I was invited, I don't know....seems a little rude to not show up. Wedding is Saturday, so this weekend will pretty much be a lost cause. Speaking of lost causes, I had to call and make ANOTHER appt for the b/f's truck. Stupid truck won't start when it rains. The last place we took it to wanted to charge $600 for repairs. He declined service and we've lived with the fear of rain for months now. the problem didn't get any better as the rainy months approached and onset on us, so Thursday, we're shipping the truck to another repair clinic. *crosses fingers* hope this repair bill comes in at less cost --AND--fixes the problem. My vote on what's broke.... spark plugs! I think they have too much carbon build up on them. hehe. That's what was wrong with my riding lawn mower *snickers* I like to cross apply that learning =0p

well, I better leave off here. I prob. won't be back until next monday or tuesday (do you still believe me? =0p ) but for now....I have to get ready to take a test! Wish me luck!!

Early Weekend

2007-10-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

Yay! The boyfriend has tomorrow off work, so I'm taking an early weekend from blogging =D I'll be back Monday....Tuesday at the latest =0p

Take care!

Another day

2007-10-09T22:31:00.000-07:00

Not much to talk about today. I woke up fairly early for me today. I was up by 9:30am to make sure I was around for moral support for the b/f. He decided to "brush up" on his interviewing skills and apply out for a new job. I don't think he is very serious about this new job, he has a great job all ready (that just gave him a raise! yay!!) but I still wanted to be around if he wanted to blow off a little nervous energy with a phone call or email.

While I waited for that call/email (that never came --I wish I had half the confidence he has in situations like that!) I cleaned the kitchen, hand washed my pots and pans, and got all the dishes into the dishwasher. I also swept the floor (my house is hardwood), but I got lazy and decided to eat lunch before doing the mopping. Or, in other words, the mopping didn't get done. Oh well, I still felt pretty happy about getting a majority of the stuff I wanted cleaned, clean before noon. Lunch was taco soup, which is fairly healthy stuff. Of course, about an hour and a half after I finished eating, my little sis asked if I wanted a biscuit. Mmmm...hot out of the oven biscuits! One of my all time favorite foods. I said "yes" but I only ate one, so I didn't feel *too* bad. Dinner was chicken and brown rice, so once again, I felt pretty good about my food choice. *grins* When the little sis proposed an ice cream run to McDonalds though, I once again caved. Mmmm....caramel ice cream sundaes! With peanuts on top! *drools* It was amazing. I loved every bite of it, but I feel a little bad about it now. especially since the boyfriend called me up saying he was "really" in the mood for sweet. hehe. I didn't share the info with him that I had just gobbled up some ice cream. Oh well, I did drink my liter of water today, so I feel pretty happy about that. I also got a lot of fiber in with today's meals, which was also a goal for me. So, even though I wasn't completely "on" with a diet today, I did make progress in the right direction. I even made sure to nibble something for breakfast --even though breakfast is by far my least favorite meal of the day.

i'm sleepy. Time for me to head to bed. Night night fellow bloggers!

Update

2007-10-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for welcoming me back. I read my last couple of blog posts before the disappearance and I thought I'd update you all on a few things I've talked about in the past.

My sister did get induced on my birthday. To be somewhat fair about it, she felt really bad about having me watch her kids on my birthday. I think she even felt a little bit bad about me having to share my birthday. I don't know....I'm not bitter about it anymore. It is just kind of one of those "family things" where you like to bitch about it a lot before it happens and afterwards it doesn't seem like such a big deal. My new nephew is happy and healthy and growing like a weed. He is a pretty adorable little guy. Also pretty funny because if he gets anywhere near you, he starts nuzzling and trying to suck. Greedy little guy. I often have to remind him that my boobies are mine. Boys! They sure do learn early =0p

Another thing I like to bitch about often in my blog is my little sister and housemate. *sigh* I still have to say, she is driving me batty. Honestly, I have never in my life met a person with less self-initiative. She called me a couple of weeks ago and asked how to change the battery in the smoke alarm. It is not a complicated smoke alarm.....the battery case is right on the front and easy to open. But she couldn't do it on her own without asking for directions. This weekend, I called her 8 times and she never once rang me back. When I saw her today, she said "yeah, I got your message this morning." Umm....in one of the voicemails I left, I said something along the lines of "I don't care when you get this message. Call me back immediately" *sigh* She frustrates me *SOOOO* much. She is about to turn 20 and she can't/won't do anything without asking permission first. She never picks up on her own. She refuses to take responsability for anything. UGH! When I decided to get my master's degree (in Communication for those of you that have asked) my parents kind of made an "unspoken/unofficial" deal with me. That deal was, they'd buy a house for us girls to live in (instead of the dorms) if I agreed to watch over little sis and make sure she was okay. I'm about to the point where I'd rather live in the dorms than play mother to a teenager. *rolls eyes* We're just *such* different personality types. Even though I tend to be cautious, I cannot just be an absent observer in life. *growls* Even thinking about her is starting to annoy me. What an awful thing to say about ones family!!! Love the girl to death, but yeah, wish I could change her and know that I can't.

As for my weight....after another weekend of being bad, bad, BAD! I am up to 184 again. *sigh* I'm not particularly upset by that number because I know by Friday I'll be back down to 180 or 179. The thing that saddens me is I'll eat like a pig and be back to 184 (or heaven forbid higher!) by next Monday again. Really a pretty predictable cycle for me. Yeah, I know how to break that cycle. Eat healthier and move my butt on occasion --preferrably further than the couch to the microwave =0p --but with the boyfriend taking off a lot of time from work (he has to burn off vacation days before the end of the year) I know we'll be doing a lot more eating out. Maybe at least we'll get into the habit of going out and walking again. We had been doing that a lot and the weather is nice and cool now =0)

=0)

2007-10-05T10:03:00.001-07:00

Wow! I have to say....if I miss one day typing in this thing, then I miss a couple of months. hehe. Sorry about those that actually wondered where I was. Basically, I was doing school work. =)

The semester has started and though I don't have a heavy course load, I'm really struggling with staying focused on working on my Masters thesis. *sigh* Nothing like trying to pick a direction on a 60-100 page paper. It has to be something I love, or I know I'll never finish it. I have my parents, boyfriend, friends, professors, and other random people in my life asking how it is going and all I can say is....."ummm" Cause truth is, it hasn't gone hardly anywhere. So sad. what is worse is the fact that I'm on the border of lying to people just to have them back off. I haven't gone there yet...I'm trying my hardest to stay away from there....I know what kind of cess pool that could lead to *sigh*

My boyfriend has decided we need to buy a house. He wants one badly, and to be honest, I can't fault him. If I was still living with my parents I would be clawing at the door to get out. Not that my parents aren't awesome, but it is hard to live a "grown up" life with your parents still asking you to bring your laundry down or clean your room =0p anyway, he has been saving cash like mad...which is awesome!...I've always been on his ass to save money...but it is sad too. It is kind of frightening too though. I feel like I'm about to have all safety platforms ripped out from under me. Once I take that jump, in my mind, it is done. We will be as good as married. We've been together for a very long time, and I love him tons, but there are a couple of personality flaws between us that I'm not sure will ever iron out. I guess that is how it is with a lot of couples --and without some strife, there wouldn't be as much love (or love wouldn't be as noticable--) but it still worries me.

On the weight loss front, things have really stalled out. Once I lost that major goal of a Vegas vacation, most of my motivation instantly went out the door. After Vegas, I was back up to my orginal starting weight in no time. Back to the 190s. Boo! So, I started trying to get my butt back to at least eating right. I'm down to fluxing between 180 and 183 right now. I really want to see those 170s come back. I need to start busting my ass. I just can't find that motivation. I kind of wish I had the cash for a personal trainer. Someone to yell at me when I don't show up and bust my ass and someone to hug me when I make it down a couple of pounds. I really, really, REALLY think blogging helped keep me on track. Even though you ladies and gentleman were so far away, I felt some accountability. Funny how that works, isn't it? I've never met you and I'll most likely never meet you....but yet I still value your thoughts.

Forgive me for my absence. I will try very hard to start blogging on a regular basis during the week. Weekends are still mine to hide behind the couch with a bag of chips *sneaks off*

Re-post?

2007-07-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

So....yeah, I tried to post this yesterday. It says it has beeen posted, but I don't see it when I look at my blog, so if this is a re-post I apoligize.

I'm back!!!
Hi everyone! I'm back!! Vegas was amazing. I really and truely love it there so much. I've been 100% off track since returning though, as you can probably see with my lack of posts. There has literally been no order in my life since returning. I sleep weird hours, eat at strange times, loaf around the house when chores should be done, etc. It hasn't been pretty. I wish I could say next week will be better, but I know it won't be (and I'll provide an explanation later on in this post)

First and foremost, I want to say congrats to all the Race to the Shower winners! I think everyone that participated was a winner! I didn't do a final weigh-in since I was either going crazy making plans for Vegas or in Vegas when the final weight loss was supposed to be tallied, but I loved the idea of a challenge and everyone was great! I think I'll try to get involved in another challenge in the future. Now that I don't have a solid deadline for wanting to loose weight, I find myself highly unmotivated. I knew, before Vegas, that I had X amount of time to lose weight. There wasn't any "ifs, ands, or buts" about it. The plane left on a certain day and I wanted to be on it a lighter woman. Now I need to find another motivating factor. I picked back up about 10 pounds while in vegas (yay for liquid bread...a.k.a. beer!) so that needs to come off.

I'm not 100% sure what happened in Vegas, but I think I grew up just a little bit while I was down there. LoL. That shouldn't happen when you are in Vegas of all places, but it really got me thinking that I wanted to be married (I've been with my b/f 7 years now) and have a house and think about having kids one day. It is kind of odd. I've always been the person in this relationship that is pushing off setting "grown up" goals, but now, something inside is telling me to go for it. Which is truely ironic since the b/f has been in a lousy mood since getting back. I guess that shows ya how much you care for a person, when you are ready to start shopping for houses with them even though you just want to slap them across the face and tell them to stop being depressed =0p *sends mental hugs his way* Love him to death. Wish I knew what was bothering him. But until he is ready to share/work-on the problem, wish he'd just cheer up.

Speaking of cheering up, I'm being a bit of a self centered prick myself. hehe. At least I know I'm a little sore though =0) My sister is having a baby. Yay! this will be her 4th child. (poor girl! she will have 4 boys under the age of 4 next week) and it is scheduled to be born....*dramatic pause*.....on my birthday! *wails with grief* I feel bad, but damn it! I don't want to share my birthday. How awful is it for me to be mad at a little baby that isn't even born yet. LoL. So, even more sad is the fact she is being purposely induced on my birthday (when the doctor was able to schedule the labor room) and on my birthday, I'll be getting up at 5:30am so I can drive over to her house and watch her 3 kids.....a 4-year-old and twin 1-year-olds. Happy birthday to me!

She feels bad about it because she knows birthday are a HUGE deal for me. Growing up, it just so happened that scout camp always fell on the week of my birthday, so my dad and the majority of my siblings would never be home on my "special day". So now that I control my birthday actions, I always make a huge celebration out of it. My sis kept telling me she was going to get me a huge present to say thanks, but I don't think she understood that I didn't want a present. I'll do this for her because I love her and she needs my help, not because I want something, but I can't/won't lie about not *really* wanting to do it. Waking up early, changing dirty diapers, watching Thomas the Train movies and trying to figure out what a screaming child wants just wasn't in the birthday plans. *sigh* yeah, writing about it isn't making me feel any better. I really am pouting over it --like I said--I'm a little sore over it.

So, I probably won't get to write next week. I'll be "on call" just in case my sis goes into labor early. that means I'll be shacking up with either my b/f or my parents just waiting around. Which, in my humble opinion, just waiting around is about the worst form of torture available...with the exception of that screaming, dirty diapered child. =0)
Posted by VegasGirl at 9:38 PM

I'm back!!!

2007-07-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I'm back!! Vegas was amazing. I really and truely love it there so much. I've been 100% off track since returning though, as you can probably see with my lack of posts. There has literally been no order in my life since returning. I sleep weird hours, eat at strange times, loaf around the house when chores should be done, etc. It hasn't been pretty. I wish I could say next week will be better, but I know it won't be (and I'll provide an explanation later on in this post)

First and foremost, I want to say congrats to all the Race to the Shower winners! I think everyone that participated was a winner! I didn't do a final weigh-in since I was either going crazy making plans for Vegas or in Vegas when the final weight loss was supposed to be tallied, but I loved the idea of a challenge and everyone was great! I think I'll try to get involved in another challenge in the future. Now that I don't have a solid deadline for wanting to loose weight, I find myself highly unmotivated. I knew, before Vegas, that I had X amount of time to lose weight. There wasn't any "ifs, ands, or buts" about it. The plane left on a certain day and I wanted to be on it a lighter woman. Now I need to find another motivating factor. I picked back up about 10 pounds while in vegas (yay for liquid bread...a.k.a. beer!) so that needs to come off.

I'm not 100% sure what happened in Vegas, but I think I grew up just a little bit while I was down there. LoL. That shouldn't happen when you are in Vegas of all places, but it really got me thinking that I wanted to be married (I've been with my b/f 7 years now) and have a house and think about having kids one day. It is kind of odd. I've always been the person in this relationship that is pushing off setting "grown up" goals, but now, something inside is telling me to go for it. Which is truely ironic since the b/f has been in a lousy mood since getting back. I guess that shows ya how much you care for a person, when you are ready to start shopping for houses with them even though you just want to slap them across the face and tell them to stop being depressed =0p *sends mental hugs his way* Love him to death. Wish I knew what was bothering him. But until he is ready to share/work-on the problem, wish he'd just cheer up.

Speaking of cheering up, I'm being a bit of a self centered prick myself. hehe. At least I know I'm a little sore though =0) My sister is having a baby. Yay! this will be her 4th child. (poor girl! she will have 4 boys under the age of 4 next week) and it is scheduled to be born....*dramatic pause*.....on my birthday! *wails with grief* I feel bad, but damn it! I don't want to share my birthday. How awful is it for me to be mad at a little baby that isn't even born yet. LoL. So, even more sad is the fact she is being purposely induced on my birthday (when the doctor was able to schedule the labor room) and on my birthday, I'll be getting up at 5:30am so I can drive over to her house and watch her 3 kids.....a 4-year-old and twin 1-year-olds. Happy birthday to me!

She feels bad about it because she knows birthday are a HUGE deal for me. Growing up, it just so happened that scout camp always fell on the week of my birthday, so my dad and the majority of my siblings would never be home on my "special day". So now that I control my birthday actions, I always make a huge celebration out of it. My sis kept telling me she was going to get me a huge present to say thanks, but I don't think she understood that I didn't want a present. I'll do this for her because I love her and she needs my help, not because I want something, but I can't/won't lie about not *really* wanting to do it. Waking up early, changing dirty diapers, watching Thomas the Train movies and trying to figure out what a screaming child wants just wasn't in the birthday plans. *sigh* yeah, writing about it isn't making me feel any better. I really am pouting over it --like I said--I'm a little sore over it.

So, I probably won't get to write next week. I'll be "on call" just in case my sis goes into labor early. that means I'll be shacking up with either my b/f or my parents just waiting around. Which, in my humble opinion, just waiting around is about the worst form of torture available...with the exception of that screaming, dirty diapered child. =0)

Sorry!

2007-07-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been able to post much lately. I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row before I head off to Vegas! Lots of packing, cleaning, arranging for mail to be picked up and grass to be cut. Not to mention, last night I looked at my boyfriend and said, "Who is supposed to drive us to the airport and pick us up?" --uh oh. That's a tiny little detail we'd overlooked. Hopefully we can figure out someone to get us there by Friday morning =0p

So, of course this weekend was nothing but drama since it was leading up to the weekend we're going out of town. lol. Friday night the b/f got home from a business trip and slept the rest of the night. Boy, I hope I don't have to tell you how old I felt sitting at home on a Friday night all by myself. Just me, world of warcraft, and some gas station nachos for company (Your fault Spidey!! You reminded me of a love gone by! *giggles*) Saturday morning was okay. The b/f made me homemade biscuits and gravy, my absolute favorite food. (diet? what diet?!?!). More WoW was played until *pouts* the b/f had to go into work. He only has to work on saturday once every 3 months, but I still hate it interupting our time together. However, I'd planned to use the time he was gone to catch up with my parents and siblings. A couple minutes after I closed the door behind him, the phone was ringing. His truck was broken. *sigh*

A quick car switch for him (he had to be at work and was all ready late) and some help from his mom and dad had his car pushed back up the street and parked on the side of the road. Oh yeah, did I mention it was pouring while we were all outside pushing? hehe. I know this will sound sick, I was really sore the next day from all that pushing, but I thought it was kind of fun to get to move the truck. it was a big sense of accomplishment. LoL. Plus it gave me an excuse to play outside in the rain. with him at work, that left me to call the insurance, ask about free towing, and start calling around to dealerships to see how fast they could get his truck in for a look-see. Of course, since this happened on Saturday, no mechanics were available. *sigh* So, instead of heading back down to school on Monday, I went ahead and stayed at his house. I got ahold of a mechanic (Who was super sweet to me. God bless people with patients and manners. I think he asked something like "what seems to be the problem with the truck?" and my answer was something along the lines of "It won't go" hehe. He walked me through it though and was great!) and had the truck towed. In between all this stuff, I also got the MIL's house vaccuumed and the floors swept. hehe....which is only funny because after I'd done all this, she called my b/f to ask what I was doing if I was staying in town to help him out and she wondered if I'd be interested in helping her out with a little cleaning =0p

Still no word on what is wrong with the truck. When I called to check in yesterday they said it started right up for them with no problems. *sigh* Isn't that always how life works out? We asked that they still poke around a little bit. this wasn't a problem of it just not starting Saturday. Sunday it was having problems too (it started but blew black smoke out the tail pipe and off the motor--yikes!) and Monday morning it once again refused to start. Today I need to get the majority of my things packed for the Vegas trip (Friday morning first thing we're on our way to the airport!), the grass mowed, bills paid, and the house cleaned up so I won't be coming home to a disaster area (nor will I worry about what I left mildewing in the sink). All this needs to be done fairly quickly because my parents are having their "4th of July" celebrations tonight, on the 3rd.

So much to do!!!! What am I doing sitting around on Blogger!?!?

Take care everyone! I may or may not blog for the next 2 weeks. Don't forget about me though. I'll be back =D

The next day....

2007-06-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

*yawns* Yeah, he got it all done. I'm not sure how "good" some of it was nor am I sure that the teacher had in mind double spacing his answers *crosses fingers and prays that is what she was expecting* but at least he got it done. This last assignment was worth 25% of his grade. He had an "A" going into the last test, so hopefully he did well enough to keep that mark.

The alarm that I was supposed to set didn't go off in the morning. Thankfully, he had asked me to set the alarm on my phone as well. Never good when you are in charge of setting the alarm and you punch in the time and forget to turn the stupid thing on! Oh well, with the alarm on the phone going off he got out of the house one time more or less. Of course, with only about an hour and a half worth of sleep I'm not sure how he stayed awake through all his meetings. After helping him out the door, I went back in to sleep some more. About an hour later, his mom came in and started shaking me and telling me that I needed to get up. She had been asleep when I arrived with the limeaids last night, so she thought I was her son. LoL. I'd have liked to have known what she was thinking when the blob in bed she thought was her son started talking back in a female voice. hehe. She knew it was me as soon as I said something, but it still struck me as really funny.

I continued to sleep until around 9am when I got up with a headache. The next day, the headache is still here and ugly. =0/ I thought for the Vegas trip I'd try to detox from the diet coke so I wouldn't get caffiene headaches while away from home. the diet coke thinks differently. I've decided I'll continue on with the diet coke addiction and just make sure I pack some excedrine to answer my caffiene needs while I'm away from my "supply" =0p

Yesterday was a pretty bad food day. I don't know why I feel the need to confess that here, but I do. When I woke up, I realized it was before 11am which means a 44 ounce cherry limeaid was only $0.99 a great reason to get out of bed. I was feeling kind of grouchy due to lack of sleep and the headache AND because the boyfriend was going out of town. I'm always kind of lost when he isn't around even though I don't physically see him most of the week. So, while I was treating myself to the cherry limeaid I went ahead and got a chili cheese frito wrap as well. Not my best move, but I decided it was probably less fat than the sausage, egg and gravy toaster sandwich. The wrap was yummy, but I dont know if it was the guilt of the grease, but soon my tummy was telling me I should have made a better decision. I did my errands while I was in town, making sure I picked up and dropped off all the stuff my mom and dad asked me to and then I drove the hour back to school.

I did some reading, played some WoW (World of Warcraft) and then decided I was very bored. Since it was raining, I decided to stay in and watch a movie. I popped some popcorn, grabbed some chocolate chips from the freezer and watched Chicago. It was worth the watch, but I don't think I'll stop to watch it again and if given the opportunity to pay money to watch it in the theater, I think I'd probably pass. The story was cute, but the music wasn't as great as I was expecting. Perhaps that's because i'm not a huge fan of jazz or maybe it is because I don't really like callous women. lol. Either way, next time I'll watch the producers (callous men are so much better =0p ), phantom, or good ole' Moulin Rouge.

Thanks for the comments. =0) I hope for a special show of appreciation from the b/f too, but I doubt anything comes of it. Or at least, anything that I notice. We've been together for so long that I think sometimes it really takes stepping back and looking at the situation to realize that the other person is a real sweetheart. *grins* I think the Vegas trip will help those little romantic moments stick out better.

Ooh! That reminds me. Two questions:
1) Anyone Know what happened to the blog "My body is my Temple" She went away to Vegas and her blog disappeared.
2) Anyone have any good restaurant advice about Vegas? Good show advice? Good random advice??

So damn tired

2007-06-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I am sooooo tired!!! My poor b/f was told yesterday that he'd be going out of town Wednesday morning. His plane leaves early, so his alarm is set for 4am. Yuck! On top of that little bit of adventure for him, he has a final due Thursday! Well, seeing as he isn't getting back until Friday, he has been working on it frantically all night. I feel really, really bad for him! Being the great g/f that I am *snickers* I drove up from school to bring him some food and help out in any way that I can. I even tried to pack his suitcase for him! However, the absolute lack of sleep (he is getting up in less than 2 hours and he is still typing away on his final!), the excessive warmth in the room, and the stress level of needing to get so much done is starting to make him very cranky and suddenly I find myself wondering exactly why I chose to come up in the first place. LoL

Poor guy. I really do feel bad for him, but I'm so tired my head is about to crash into the keyboard.

My food intake was so-so today. Honestly, I've been feeling a little under the weather with a belly ache for the past couple of days so when I actually do decide to eat, it is either not enough or too much. Speaking of food intake, the South Beach Diet pizzas......Yum! if you don't mind thin (cracker like) crust....so yum in fact that I am having a hard time finding them. I think the next time my grocery store stocks them, I'll have to grab 3 or 4. They make a nice dinner that is very filling.

So.....tired........I hope, hope, HOPE he does okay on this final. It is worth so many points and it really is a bit unfair for him to have to do it without much preperation because he is being sent out of town. =0/

Bleh!

2007-06-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

You know those days where everyone you see and everyone you talk to seems to be either sad or in a bad mood? Yeah, that has been my day. I'm emotionally drained and I've eaten way too much. Okay, not way too much, but I'm sure I made it to 1,500 calories today =0)

This weekend was a lot the same as most. I ate out too much, but enjoyed it. hehe. My boyfriend and I have gotten pretty "okay" with splitting a meal when we eat out. I know that might sound kind of odd, but restraunts often send out HUGE portions, so we've found that splitting an entre can often fill us both up. We still get to eat out and have fun, but we don't go home so stuffed that we can barely walk. But we still ate out this weekend. We had a steak, Italian, and pizza. Even though I ate badly, I do believe portion control was excersised.

So, funny story....I bought a bag of spinach and I wanted to try a recipe with it. My b/f offered to make me spinach lasagna. I really resisted this idea because lasagna has two of the food groups that I'm really trying to avoid. My weaknesses.....pasta and cheese. =0) So, long story short, he talked me into it saying that it wouldn't be "that" bad for me. *snickers* yeah, right! I bet there was maybe 1/4 of a bag of spinach in the whole lasagna. There was a whole bag of shredded cheese, 1/2 a tub of ricotta, and about 1/2 a tub of cottage cheese. I'm not thinking it was "good" for me. I have to say though, the b/f is a great cook and it turned out yummy (how could that much cheese and noodles not be yummy?!?!) plus it was really sweet of him to do for me.

Off to bed. I think I'm going to really try to scrub down the house tomorrow. Hopefully everyone around here will be in a better mood. =D

Curious about butter

2007-06-21T16:11:00.001-07:00

Thanks for the comments. Now I have a couple other questions for you that I'd love a response on!

1) What is the deal with the spray butter?

I mean, if you believe the nutrition info, it is pretty much nothing...and yet...it still tastes like butter. I like the stuff a lot, but I read a long, long time ago that this stuff was a little too good to be true. Anyone have any information on hidden calories or fats?

2) What is a good thing to do with spinach? No, feeding it to a bunny rabbit is not an option. I bought some at the store and now I'm kind of just pondering what to do with it. I ate some rolled up in turkey lunch meat for lunch today and that was pretty good, but there has to be some fun interesting way to slip it into my meals. One rule, I'd like fairly healthy recipes AND I hate vinegar. I know, I know...for some of you out there reading that I've probably just sinned against everything you and your nation stands for ...hehe...but it is the truth. It is definitely a developed taste that I have yet to develop.

Thanks for all the help!

What am I doing wrong?

2007-06-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know this might sound odd, but what am I doing wrong?!?! I feel like I'm eating a lot of food. The amount of food I'm eating definitely fills me up, but I'm really struggling to get to 1200 calories. I think tomorrow I'll eat another egg at breakfast --but that is only an additional 30 calories-- and maybe I'll try to drink a glass of milk with my snack instead of water, but I still feel like I need more calories. I literally forced myself into eating the first two snacks. Of course, I didn't have to force myself into eating the McDonald's cone. *giggles*

I may be "off" on the calorie count for the fruit and veggies. I took the stats from sparkpeople, but it is for a 1/2 cup serving. I think I should be fairly accurate, plus or minus 50 calories. Which, I guess doesn't make me too far off of the 1200 goal. I'm just really frustrated at the moment.

Breakfast
Egg Beaters 1/2 cup (2 eggs)
Calories: 60 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 12
V-8 Fruit fusion strawberry banana 8oz
Calories: 120 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 1

Snack
Quaker Oats Strawberry snack bites
Calories: 130 Fat: 2.5 Fiber: 2 Protein: 1

Lunch:
Spinach Artichoke bites (3)
Calories: 190 Fat: 10 Fiber: 2 Protein: 9
Boca Burger
Calories: 90 Fat: 3 Fiber: 3 Protein: 14
Fat Free American Cheese Slice
Calories: 30 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 5
Diet coke

Snack:
Small Granny Smith Apple
Calories: 40 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0

Dinner:
Shish-ka-bobs! (1 sausage link, 1/2 onion, 1/4 green pepper, 1 pear)
Sausage
Calories: 110 Fat: 4.5 Fiber: 0 Protein: 15
Pear
Calories: 50 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0
Green Pepper
Calories: 20 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0
Onion
Calories: 30 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Protein: 0

Snack:
McDonalds Ice Cream Cone
Calories: 150 Fat: 3.5 Fiber: 0 Protein: 4

Totals:
980 Calories
23.5g Fat
10 Fiber (with fiber pills added in)
51g protein

Spinach Artichoke Veggie Bites

2007-06-19T12:10:00.001-07:00

So I went to the store and looked over the Morning Star foods available to me. Honestly, the grocery I shop at down here is pretty small in comparison to those I shop at in Kansas City. The selection wasn't that large, but I decided that the Spinach Artichoke bites didn't sound too frightening. After all, I like spinach artichoke dip, so this would be about the same thing, right?

hehe. WRONG! But I wasn't wrong in a bad way. When I took them out of th box, they looked a lot like chicken nuggets to me. I chose to cook them in the oven because I've always enjoyed anything with breading to get that extra crunch. I wasn't too thrilled with the fact that these small little nuggets had to cook for 16 to 18 minutes, but I patiently waited for them to be done.

When I bit down on the first one, for some reason I was sure I was going to encounter spinach artichoke dip inside. Needless to say, I was a tad disappointed. Seeing as spinach artichoke dip contains yummy cheese in mass quantities, it probably isn't as good for me as these bites. After busting through that mental image, I went on to take another bite. The nuggets are stuffed with spinach, (I'm talking, you bite down and are greeted with green shredded spinach trying to escape its crunchy breaded outsides) but I didn't see that much artichoke. The taste isn't bad at all. It doesn't have a strong spinach flavor, in fact, I couldn't tell you what type of flavor these things have! I'll be the first person to admit that I am a very, VERY picky eater. In the past, if it was green, it wasn't coming near me. But I will buy these again.

I could see trying to feed these to an amaeture veggie eater --like a kid or a picky adult-- If you can get them past the idea that what they are biting into is green, I think the taste will have the picky person eating up the rest of the nugget. One caution, as these started to cool, I didn't think they were nearly so good. Definitely the last part of the meal that needs to be cooked. One other down side, I thought they were awfully high in fat. I think artichoke is naturally high in fat, and there is some cheese inside, so those two things combined with the breading probably are the cause.

Serving size: 3 pieces
Calories: 190
Fat: 10g
Fiber: 2
Protein: 9

Boca Burger, what are you?

2007-06-14T12:11:00.001-07:00

So, I had my first Boca Burger today. As I've said before, I am from the midwest, so beef has been around me my whole life. No seriously! Every school I went to up to college had a cow farm right next door. =0p Anyway, with a tiny bit of nervousness, I cracked open the package and took my first peak inside. First off, let me say that I LOVE the fact that patties were individually wrapped. How smart! This way I'm not trying to eat an entire package of hamburgers in a week just to avoid freezer burn. My second thought upon seeing the patty was that it was a bit small. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but it just seemed little to me. I chose to fry my burger in a skillet. Mostly because I was lazy and didn't want to go outside and fire up the grill for one burger. The patty turned out really easy to cook. It went from being frozen to cooked in no time AND great thing about this particular burger, it didn't shrink down. I think I've been cooking beef so long I just expected the slightly small patty to turn tiny after adding in a little heat. Not so with this burger. I put the burger on my plate with a slice of non-fat american cheese on top, fished my corn on the cob out of the boiling water and sat down to my first boca burger.

Hmmm....I'll be honest and tell you exactly what I expected this burger to taste like. I thought it would be much like the burgers that school used to serve. We used to make fun of them because the beef was "cut" with soy to make them cheaper. Hmm...I wonder if that is still true now that soy products have gotten to be so popular. Anyway, I digress. The burger wasn't anything like that. It had kind of a squishy texture, not at all like meat. Generally I would say that disgusted me, but somehow, for some reason, the boca burger didn't offend. Now, I wouldn't say it tasted like a hamburger exactly. Nor would I try to "pull a fast one" on friends of family members and try to switch a real beef burger with a boca, but I am definitely okay with the idea of incorporating this food into my weekly meal plan.

As I check out Boca's site I notice that I had the All American Flame Grilled version of the boca burger which has cheese listed in its ingredients --just a warning if anyone is trying to walk down the vegan path.

Overall and final thoughts: A very quick, very easy option for protein. I wouldn't eat it on a day that I was "starving" or I'd go ahead and cook two patties. But I really enjoyed this change of pace --said with the caveat that this is not your "normal" burger experience.

All American Flame Grilled Burger stats:

90 Calories

3g Fat

3g Fiber

14g protein

Know of any other products I should try? As long as I can find it at a local grocery or health food store, I'll give it a try and report back here. Of course, there are some restrictions considering I'm a broke college kid, but I'm willing to give any product at least one try. I'll report back my thoughts here. If you have additional questions about a product I tried and reviewed, post a comment and I'll try to get back with you as soon as possible.

These are just my thoughts/feelings about a product and should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm not you and you aren't me, so maybe you'll like something that I don't =0) I'm just doing this to try to spice up my food options and reinterest myself in losing weight.

Have you given up on me yet?

2007-06-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that I've gone from posting every day to every-other-day. That kind of saddens me. I think the lack of posts goes along with my lack of weightloss though. The scale isn't moving. I haven't gained back the approx. 10 pounds that I've taken off, but I sure haven't added to that number either. It is disheartening in a way.

My boyfriend keeps telling me, "if you've stopped losing, you have to (1) burn more calories or (2) eat fewer calories. Well, needless to say after all our time together, he knows that option 2 isn't really going to work for me. I actually struggle to get 1200 calories in a day. I don't generally eat when I get bored, instead, I grab a book (yay for trashy-romance novels!! Nora Roberts, you are my hero! *giggles*) and don't eat for an entire day. I know, not healthy, but food seems like a major nusicance when you are only cooking for yourself. I've really been working on hitting 1200 calories a day though because actually eating more is what got rid of those initial 10 pounds. Now that I have that part of the "weightloss journey" almost nailed down, I guess it is time to start getting serious about burning some calories.

So, for the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to get my b/f to come down and show me how to work out at the gym. LoL. I briefly worked out in a gym before, but he literally tailored the workout for me. He told me what machine to use, when to use it, and how many reps to do. He was my own personal trainer! Of course, I got in trouble and quite a few fights started because we have different workout philosophies. So different in fact, I was actually banned from working out with his mom (on the few occasions she worked out at home with us). That is basically because I figure a constant stream of good giggles makes the aches and pains of the work out much less noticable. The boyfriend, on the other hand, is a very serious person when he steps into the gym. Hehe. So, working out together might not be too good of an idea on a daily basis...but I would really love for him to show me around this new gym AND make sure I'm using all the machines right. Because honestly, just going off the little pictures printed on the side of the machine, that is dangerous!! I hurt myself trying to chew gum and walk at the same time! How can I be expected to operate those strange torture devices?!?!?!?

I've got a funeral to go to on Friday or Saturday. I have really mixed feelings about going to the service. I actually met this family member, and I do remember her, but there was no deep connection between us. The mixed feelings actually come from the fact that my dad called me today and said, "there will be a funeral you need to go to this week" Now, I come from a large family. I have lots of siblings, but somewhere along the line my parents have chosen me as the "family ambassador" That means, if there is a funeral, I'm nominated to go (with one of my parents). If there is a family "emergency" I'm the one that is supposed to talk to the rest of the family to let them know what is going on. If someone needs a babysitter or a ride, it is almost always "Oh, VegasGirl can do it for you. I'm sure she won't mind" Now, in some ways I look at this as an honor. Truethfully, most of my siblings don't chat with eachother more than on holidays and I generally talk with everyone at least once or twice a month. I've really worked to open up those relationships, so I can understand why I am chosen to go out to represent the family. BUT --always a but =0) -- in other ways it is a major inconvenience. I had plans for this Friday. My boyfriend took off of work this Friday, so this won't only be ruining my plans. *sigh* I know I'm being ungrateful and selfish. I'm not the person that died. (always a plus!) But darn it!! I hate the fact that I will be the family member there this Friday and that it is expected of me. I think that is the part that I hate the most. It is expected whereas I am sure none of my other siblings have even been informed. I have fond memories of this aunt, but I haven't seen her for at least 10 years, probably 15.

I don't know when my next post will be. Sorry for those of you that stop by on a daily basis. I'll try to make 100% sure I post next Monday. **hugs** Until then!

Monday

2007-06-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

Can you see the pictures? I keep getting an error message why I try to post.
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Well, what can I say? Today was just another ordinary day. So, to spice this post up a little bit, I decided to slap in some photos. Maybe they will distract you from the very little that is going on in my world. Speaking of spicing things up, blogger hates me when I try to put in photos. Sorry, I shrank these down and chose "small" but they are still huge. Hope they don't screw up anyone's PC too badly.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about whether or not I want to move out of Missouri. I'm getting fairly close to completing my Masters degree now, so I need to be doing a little bit of planning for the future. I've always thought I'd move away. I've always dreamed of living somewhere other than here, but as the time approaches for me to really make that decision, I find myself thinking about all the things in Missouri that I'll miss. Being able to drive an hour and go out into the country will be one of those things.

I spent a lot of time in my garden today. Just hanging around outside. As awful and cloudy as the sky looks in the pictures, it never even sprinkled on me. Oh yeah, speaking of the pictures....sorry that they are a little bit blurry. they were taken while I was driving and through my windshield, so the picture quality is a bit interesting. But I still think they will give you the idea of how nice it is to be in the country =0)

I'm off to bed. **hugs** Have a great day everyone!

Breakfast: Chex 100 calorie pack (strawberry) and a diet coke

Lunch: 1/2 Goodcents sub and a diet coke

Dinner: Fish sticks TV dinner meal and 1 liter of water

Tomorrow: Grocery store!!!

Back!....again!

2007-06-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

All right, I'm back, again! hehe. The fishing trip was great fun. We couldn't have asked for better weather. It was about 75 degrees outside with a lovely wind blowing over the water. When we go fishing with my dad, we don't bank fish. We actually stand in the water. The place we go is someplace he used to go as a kid (near his uncle's farm) so I think it is a really great time for him as well as us.

I didn't catch very many big fish, most of mine were throw-back size (1 lb or smaller), but dad and the little sister caught a huge mess of fishies. Everytime I put my line out in the water, my dad or my lil sis was hollering for a net. I've never seen such big catfish coming out of the water! Normally I'd be really competitive and upset that I hadn't caught anything, however, I don't know if being older has mellowed me out, or if I just really needed the time outside away from the city, but I was completely okay with just sitting on a rock in the middle of the river just listening to the noises around me. *takes a deep breath* It was a much needed body/mind/soul relaxing trip.

As a side note, we used the coppertone sport spray sunblock and that stuff is yucky! My boyfriend said it was because we chose the "no rub sport" formula....but it looked like we'd sprayed hairspray on ourselves. I was so sticky and shiny!! I don't think I'll ever buy that particular formula again.

I haven't been tracking my food very much lately. Since I was in town on the fishing trip with dad, we ate McDonalds twice in one day. *gasp* I know, awful!!! What is worse, I enjoyed it, but couldn't help myself from looking at the fat content. Since I ate there twice in one day, I'm almost guessing I had something like 60g of fat in one day...maybe more. *shakes head* Incredible.

The scale says I'm 183.6 this morning. So, I'm pretty sure that is overall a loss for me. I've really got to figure out some way to track my weight. I know it is still down from the orginal starting weight of 198, so I'm happy for now.

Have an awesome weekend everyone. I'm thinking, I may even go work out this weekend. *gasp* what will they do when they see me at the gym?!?! Probably faint!

Back...

2007-06-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

I'm back!!!!!! And I caught a fish THIS BIG!! hehe. Literally, that big and about that color too. hehe. I'll write more later. But for now, I need to mow the lawn before the rain starts coming down.

Hello....

2007-06-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

Hiya fellow bloggers! For those of you that stop by here often, sorry I haven't been writing much. I've had a major case of "the lazys" here lately. It all stems from that evil car out in my garage demanding an oil change! Okay, that and the weather hasn't helped much lately. It has been almost non-stop rain here all week long. Bleh! It is kind of funny actually because even though the sun has been shining, the rain is still coming down. LoL.

So, I chose not to weigh myself this week. I don't think it has been a particularly bad week, nor has it been a good week for me. The rain has kept me inside, so I haven't been doing much excercise, but I have been trying to eat fairly well. I find myself wondering about foods that are prepackaged. Wondering how many calories/fat/protein/fiber they come out to be. My mom sent me with a ziplock bag of roast this week. Which was awesome, because it gave me quick and easy meals...but I have no real idea what I was consuming. that bothered me a little bit. I tried looking it up online a few different places, but even though they had approx. calorie intake, I still wasn't really satisfied with their stats.

Speaking of stats, since I live alone for the summer, I put this up on my fridge. Everytime I go into the kitchen I am reminded how much I've eaten that day. It is helping me keep my calorie count up where it belongs. I've found myself doing a lot more little snacks in between meals. Mostly, I have kept it healthy. Bananas, quaker snacks, jello cups, and other yummy treats like that. Along with the snack, I'm really trying to drink at least a 1/2 liter of water. That way the snack is more filling and I get my water requirement in for the day. Unfortunately, drinking so much water really has me doing the potty dance.

I'm off for the weekend. Have a wonderful time everyone! =D I'll be sure to get back to blogging and leaving messages for everyone on Wednesday. Yes, I said Wednesday because Tuesday I'm Gone Fishing! As long as this rain stuff doesn't ruin the fun!

Slap me on the ...

2007-05-30T14:06:00.000-07:00

Random thought: Does anyone in the Kansas City area do NS and enjoy the shakes/bars? My b/f has tons of them and he hates them. We'd be excited to work out some sort of exchange or just to open the lines of communication. =D

All right...slap me on the wrist and call me a bad girl cause I didn't get my oil changed. *sigh* (and I'd like to make a special note to all you freaky-people out there, I said WRIST! hehe) I know it is bad, but I'll do it tomorrow? I promise??

This weekend was lots of eating out and drama. My b/f's mom and dad put on a big memorial day party which every year I try to wiggle out of =) It isn't that I don't like the b/f's family, it is that I don't like them in large quantities. One-on-one they are all really great people, but throw me into a crowd of them and I just feel like a fish out of water. hehe. I guess that's why I can't get my b/f to come over to my family gatherings. I should make a mental note of that realization so the next time I'm bitching at him for not interacting with my family I remember why. Oh, screw that!!! I see his parents on a weekly basis and he has seen mine maybe 20 times in the seven years that we've been dating. He is due for a couple of uncomfortable family gatherings =0p

Yeah, so, anyway.....this weekend was pretty bad for eating. I didn't really feel like we were doing that badly, but the memorial day picnic caught me with my hand in the cookie jar more than once. Then, being the sweet, romantic guy that he is, my boyfriend made me a huge plate of bananas foster (I added a link for those of you that don't know what this yum-yum is )--YUM!-- but definitely not on the diet plan. At this point, I kind of feel like I've gained back everything that I lost (and if you believe the scale, I almost have!). I'm going to try to be really "good" this week and stay on track with my food. Unfortunately, it is supposed to rain everyday this week so going out walking may be hard to accomplish. Maybe I can get out earlier in the mornings and walk before it has warmed up enough to produce thunderstorms.

I'm going to go clean up my car so I can be ready bright and early tomorrow morning to go get my oil changed *groans*

Things I hate...

2007-05-25T07:22:00.000-07:00

So...one of the number one things I hate to do is go and get my oil changed. I don't know why, it isn't "that" big of a deal once I go and get it done, but the process leading up to it is always awful for me. I've been saying that I'll go and get it done for weeks now. I check my oil regularly in my car to make sure I have enough, but everytime I pull up that little dipstick and see how black the oil is I know I needed to have it done weeks ago. Ugh!! I just hate it, hate it, HATE IT! Anyway, that is on my list of things to do today. Go get my stinkin' oil changed. *sigh* I think one of the things that kind of ticks me off about it is my little sis and I both drove home several weeks ago. We both slept late and when we woke up, Dad had taken her car in and had it changed --but not mine! Grrr! He is always coming over taking over projects I could have done on my own (like mowing the grass, or pouring drain cleaner down a drain) but when it comes to the one thing I wouldn't mind him doing for me, he just ignores my hints =0p

Yesterday I was bad. It was raining so I didn't go walking. I cooked some hamburger helper stuff for lunch and somehow misread the serving size. I thought it said that it was 3 servings, so I ate a bunch thinking about how awesome it was to get to eat that much food and not go over the calories limit. Yeah, later, after my tummy stopped hurting ( I swear sometimes I'm like a bad puppy that just won't stop eating) I went back and re-checked the box. It was 5 servings, so I must have eaten at least 2. *holds belly and groans* So much for that weight loss this week.

For those of you out there saying that doubling up on one meal couldn't be that bad....yeah, well, the reason I didn't post Wednesday was because I drove up to the city to clean my almost MIL's house. It took about 5 hours to get everything scrubbed down and I was feeling pretty good about the progress I made, but when the b/f came home he walked around a little bit and said "What happened to you cleaning this place?" *sigh* I almost kicked him. hehe. He went around rearranging my stacks saying that it didn't look like I'd picked up anything. What an ass! Honestly, he made a good point when he said he'd lived with his mother, he knew what she expected of a "clean house" but I was still slightly irked with him. He offered to take me out to eat, because he had a lot to do that night and because I was kind of cranky at that point. It was on the tip of my tongue to say "no" when he dropped the name of the favorite restaurant. *Sigh* Two days in a row of being bad, even if the second day was stupid and unintentional. I'm really going to have to resolve to be better next week. I've got to do something or I'm going to start packing the pounds back on instead of getting rid of them.

Speaking of which, I forgot to weigh myself first thing this morning, so I guess I'll once again push the weekly weigh in. At this rate, it is going to be a monthly weigh in before long =0p

Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay
"Look at the stars,Look how they shine for you,And everything you do,Yeah they were all yellow"
You're so in love, it's like a drug.

What Love Song Are You?

Yeah, I know the link doesn't work. It always says I have an error when I cut and paste in html links. So, for a proper link, visit Annieann77 that's where I got this from =)

One of those days....

2007-05-22T21:02:00.000-07:00

So, it has been "one of those days" today. However, instead of being one of those days where the world conspired against me, it was one of those days where everything I did was "on". *giggles* It was a good food day and I went walking. Yay! I know this is going to sound/read absolutely ridiculous, but I am so excited and proud of myself for staying on track. hehe. When my b/f called tonight, I could wait to tell him. The last couple of weeks I haven't met my goal of losing 2 pounds, but today, I really feel like I put myself on track to meet my 2 pound weight loss goal for the week. I really hope tomorrow I can stick with the food program and do it again.

Other than the food, today wasn't all that exciting for me. It rained really hard early this morning and that really hurt the pepper plants I have planted in my garden. A couple of plants lost some of their leaves, so I hope they can bounce back. Missouri is pretty notorious for having violent/hard thunderstorms, so I'm not holding out a lot of hope for my garden; however, I would really love to be able to go outside and pick a couple green pepper this summer.

Most of my day was spent cleaning up around the house. I made the mistake early on in the day to flip on the TV. I landed on the Bravo channel and ended up watching a marathon of The Biggest Loser. I was sitting there watching the show thinking how amazing it was that these 300 and 400 pound people decided to make a lifestyle change when they started flashing some of the beginning weights of the female contestants. I'm not kidding you, my jaw hit the floor. After trying to fool myself a little longer into believing that I wasn't "that" overweight, I faced up to reality and both comprehended and digested the fact that some of the women on the show weighed almost as much as I did. Now, it didn't say how tall the girls were, but I'm figuring that we were pretty similar. Then I started wondering what I actually looked like. That may sound kind of odd, but I have this mental picture of myself and sometimes I wonder if that doesn't completely alter what I see when I look into the mirror. I don't think I look *that* overweight. Honestly, I don't have *that* much of an issue with my weight --it is the rest of the world pushing me to be skinnier. However, maybe the reason I don't have a problem with my weight is the fact that I'm not seeing what the outside world sees. I have fooled myself into believing that I am okay, when I am not. *sigh* My "healthy" body weight is supposed to be 130 (at the highest), but right now I've decided to set my goal at 150. Once I reach that goal, I will re-think how I feel.

So, as I am sweeping the floor, planning dinner, and being oh so guilty of watching a marathon of Biggest Loser, my doorbell rings. I know automatically that it has to be my neighbor again. Nobody ever comes over to my house!! I answered the door and yes, it was my neighbor asking me if I wanted to join her for another walk. I'm still a little....hmm, let's go with the technical term "weirded out"....weirded out by the sudden onset of friendliness from my neighbor. She seems to be a genuinely nice person, but it still seems odd to me that a woman that is at least 20 years older than me (that is being nice, and underestimating by probably 10 years) has suddenly decided that we should become friends. This time her friend walked with us and I got to mostly listen in on their conversation as they walked. It turns out that they are friends from church, and it seems whatever church that happens to be is highly conservative (yeah, I live in the Bible Belt. No big surprise there!). Also, attached to that highly conservative mindset is a conservative political view. Now, I've heard the quote that goes something like, "If you have a heart, you are a democrat when you are young and if you have a mind, you are a republican when you are old" but that seems like two major strikes against us having a friendly relationship. hehe.

Never talk about religion or politics because those two subjects will get you in worlds of trouble --a general philosophy of mine. Now, these two older ladies are talking about both and I'm just trying to bite back my tongue. The only time I chose to really pipe in with an opinion was when my neighbor said she'd confiscated her son's MP3 player to check out what kind of music he was listening to. Apparently, something on the player didn't sit well with her because she had deleted the song and told him it was vulgar. Her son is almost 15 --of course he is going to think about sex! But, according to her, that was unacceptable behavior. Hmmm....she better have a conference call with her higher power because note to the world: 15 year old boys think about "dirty things". hehe. I phrased it a lot nicer than that to her, but I did pose the question, "when will it be okay for him to listen to that song?" Her answer, "never". Looks like she'll be living with her son for a long, long, LONG time =0p

I very much believe in parents PARENTING their children, but I also believe there has to be some point where the child is able to make decisions on their own. Who knows, someday when I have children I may be demanding to hear their music and deeming it too "vulgar" to listen to, but until that day comes, I think I'm going to have a hard time not disagreeing with that particular parenting decision. Oh well, at least I got to get in 1.5 miles of walking =)

A little chat with the neighbor....

2007-05-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

So, today has been another one of those days where I got very little done. *Sigh* I have agreedd to clean my b/f's mom's house for their annual Memorial Day Picnic. Knowing that I agreed to have the house cleaned before Sunday, I decided to do a little preemptive cleaning today. I scrubbed out the bathtub really well and dusted all the furniture. I also swept the floor, but since they have a dog living in the house, I know the clean floor probably didn't last the entire day, much less until Sunday =0p After cleaning up a little, I jumped into my car and headed back down to school (an hour away from the b/f's place).

I was feeling hot and sweaty by the time I made it back down to school (it is has been warm here and I didn't want to burn the extra gas to turn on my AC), but I decided to run down to my mailbox real quick before heading inside to take a shower. Well, long story shortened, my neighbor --who I haven't said more than 2 words to since she moved in 6 months ago -- asked me over to chat for a little while. I was so shocked that I went over and we ended up chatting for a little over 2 hours. She did most of the talking, and there were several times I just kept thinking "I wish I was doing something else right now" but it was kind of neat to get to talk to my neighbor. It was just such an odd, random experience. She told me that she and a friend often walked at night around our neighborhood, and when I expressed interest in their route, she invited me along. I said I'd love to come along sometime, but that I had to go. I grabbed my mail and headed home to shower and cook some dinner.

Well, in the middle of dinner, my doorbell rang. She was at the door and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her for a walk. Since I'd just said I would go not two hours ago, I told her I'd come over after I finished eating. I did go over and we walked almost 2 miles together. I'm glad that we went walking, but I'm still a little confused about what sparked the whole experience. hehe. She said she might come over again tomorrow, if that is the case, I guess I better decide whether I'm going to eat dinner earlier or later than normal. =0)

I didn't remember to weigh myself last Friday and now, after having a weekend full of bad food, I'm a little afraid to do it. So, for now, I think I'm going to just pretend that I don't need to weigh myself. I'm going to work extra hard this week to drop a couple of pounds. If the neighbor does decide to come back over for another walk that would be a great step towards dropping weight this week.

Time to put me to bed. Night night! =)

Yawns

2007-05-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

I'll be back later. =) I woke up early to do a favor for the b/f that is out of town. Favor accomplished, I'm going back to bed. Tee hee. Napping by 9am is great. Gotta love college!

Well....you know those days that you just
accomplish nothing worthwhile? Yeah, that
was today for me. I was supposed to work on
my garden which is brand new. *giggles* I'm
really looking forward to having one, but I have
a black thumb. Oh well, this is my brand new garden.

hehe. Yeah, as you can probably see, not much of a garden yet. =0) So far my plan is to plant some green peppers, carrots, basil, oregeno, rosemary, mint, maybe some chile peppers. I dunno what else I'll put out there. I have my doubts that any of it will grow, but the idea amuses me.

Hmm....what else did I do today? I really didn't feel like doing anything today and I hoped that leaving the house would help me get motivated to do, well, anything! I went to the $1 Store because right now, that is the only store in my price range. hehe. I have something to admit here....it is a very guilty admission...I LOVE the $1 Store. It is so much fun! If I ever won the lottery, I think I could spend millions on useless junk. Today's useless junk that I bought...poker chips, magnets, and super glue.

Don't notice the dirty fridge =0p

Yeah, the formatting on this post is going crazy. Apparently I'm not adding in pictures correctly or maybe my computer just hates me today. I dunno, but check out those magnets!! *giggles*

I've got another issue I'd like some insight on. I know why I didn't feel like doing anything. Yes, being lazy does add into that somewhat; however, most of the problem is not having a schedule. I don't technically *have* to do anything because I'm out of classes for the summer. I should be doing stuff, but I don't have an enforcement policy, so I get lazy. So, here is my problem. I'm really having trouble eating enough since I'm not scheduled. I'm not doing anything (other than beign lazy) so I'm not hungry, so on days like today, I find myself sitting around at 5pm having not eaten anything. I come to a new resolve after days like this to make sure I start a schedule, but I won't. I'm awful like that. I just can't keep track of time. Honestly, when I am in classes, I'm really bad about keeping time too. Think Absent Minded Professor. hehe.

Anyway, any suggestions on how to get all the calories/food groups I need in a day?

Another mixed up week

2007-05-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

I peaked at my weight today and it was WAY up from where it has been. I'm not quite sure what I've been doing differently, but I'm going to try really hard to eat a breakfast and get up earlier in the day. I wonder if sleeping in hasn't been hurting my weightloss goals.

Today I did an old workout video. It was a cindy crawford video that I got and did once in college. hehe. It kicked my ass, especially my arms. Right now as I type this, I can feel my muscles quivering. LoL. What a weird feeling. My left shoulder is really hurting. It has been a chronic problem for me since high school, so I hope I didn't push it too hard.

I signed up for a library card at the local library today. I was wanting to look up that book, or the book on tape, The Secret, but apparently they don't have it? Did I screw up the name? I picked up a couple of recipe books because I'm getting a little tired of my own cooking and I didn't find any recipes that really interested me. If anyone out there has a cool recipe, send it my way =) I'd really appreciate it. One of the books I picked up was a weight watchers title, it looked old, but I gave it a try. I couldn't believe how much fat was in the recipes!! I'm not doing any particular type of weight loss program, just trying to cut fat (I'm in love with cheese) and somewhat cut the carbs (love the mac and cheese!) which pretty much has me eating more proteins, vegetables, and fruit. Problem is, green veggies have a tendenacy to make my belly hurt really badly =0/

I'm curious if anyone out there uses weight loss supplements. I've heard a lot about hoodia, green tea, etc. and I wonder if anyone has testimonials about a product. I know there is no "easy way" to loose weight, but any help is good =)

Okay, I'm going out of town to visit my boyfriend tomorrow, so I'm not sure if I'll blog. He is going out of town on a business trip this week so I think I'll pop in to spend a little extra time with him tomorrow night. Have a great Wednesday =0)

Breakfast: Nature Valley Cereal
Lunch: Leftovers! 2 tortillas, 1/2 grilled chicken breast, 1/2 slice of cheese, salsa
Dinner: TV dinner >.<>
Snack: Celery stalk with hot sauce --celery with peanut butter (peanut butter is yummy! but it is SOOOOOOOOOOO addictive and bad for you!)

Umm...yeah, I need recipes/ideas on ways to eat celery too. I really thought I'd enjoy it with hot sauce (cause I love it when buffalo chicken is served along side of celery) but that didn't work out so much for me. Once again, ideas are truely appreciated.

I got my ass kicked...

2007-05-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

...by a 91 year old woman. Yes, ladies and gentlemen meet Olive. A 91 year old woman that beat my time in Saturday's 5k race. Now, I'm not going to point fingers here and call her a cheat, but I SWEAR I never saw her pass us on the race course. hehe. We (my boyfriend and a friend of his from work) passed her in the very beginning of the race and made a solemn vow to at least finish the race before her, alas, it was not to be. This amazing woman completed the race with a time of 47minutes and 48 seconds while I completed the race in 55minutes and 36 seconds. *sigh* So disappointing to have your butt soundly kicked by someone so much older. hehe.

For this race, my boyfriend brought along a friend from work. At first I was really excited because she walked at a much slower pace than the b/f generally makes me walk, but at the end of the race I was a little bit disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I broke a sweat while walking, but I know I could have gone faster. I really want to complete one of these races in under 50 minutes. To actually compete with people in my age group, I would have to finish a race in under 40 minutes, but for right now, 50 minutes is my goal. I should be able to do that EASY. I'm going to start training for it this week. I'm really going to try to get out there and try to walk at least 2 to 3 miles every night. We'll see if I get off my lazy butt to do it.

Running late

2007-05-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

As always, I'm running late so I'm going to try to make this post pretty short and sweet.

I lost one pound this week. While I'm happy I lost and didn't gain, I didn't make my goal of 2 pounds a week. That means next week I'm going to have to work really hard. My goals for next week:
1. Walk 3 miles
2. Eat healthy
3. Lose 2-3 pounds
4. Do my arm work out at least 3 times
5. Go to the gym at least 3 times.

This weekend I'm doing another 3k walk with my boyfriend. This time he is bringing along a friend from work which is kind of exciting. She is supposedly a slow walker (yay!!) so this walk is supposedly going to be easier than the last =0p I've really got to start training myself for these 3ks. I think even though my goal is to walk 3 miles next week, I'm going to try to walk at least 3 miles on one of those days. I think the tredmills should have a 3k setting on them. That would be awesome. hehe.

*hugs* See ya'll next week! Wish me luck on my walk =D

Bad, bad girl!

2007-05-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

Since I've decided that my google ads go somewhat off the title of my posts, I'm curious to see if this spawns anything new/interesting. *giggles*

So, anyway, I've been a bad girl when it comes to eating this week. My little sis moved home to be with the parents for the summer leaving me down at college all by myself. I love, Love, LOVE having the house to myself because now I can clean up everything without feeling like I'm being forced to be her maid (she is one of those people that literally does not understand what is wrong with dirty dishes in the sink and dust bunnies the size of small dogs on the floor); however, the bad part about her being gone is I've lost my portion control. hehe. When she is here, I can split something with her and it generally works out as portion controled. If I made a bag of rice, she could have half! If I was really, really bad and ordered a Pizza Hut pizza, I could limit myself to two or three pieces and know that she'd eat the rest. Now I'd be stuck with eating a whole pizza =0/ Same goes with those yummy bags of Lipton Pasta. After being sick on Tuesday, I ate a whole bag of Lipton Pasta by myself on Wednesday. *sigh* But it was some pretty good comfort food!

So, to get back on the "being good" train, I bought a green pepper and some hamburger meat. Today, I'm going to cut the green pepper in half and make mini stuffed green peppers. With low-fat hamburger, tomato sauce, spices, and some no-fat cheese, I figure I can't go too wrong there and they are soooooo tastey. That will probably end up being my lunch and dinner. Since I'm going home early Friday (I have to pick up a packet for another 5k --Eek!!) maybe I can get the scale to read at least one pound lighter. Of course, that will probably require me getting my butt outside and doing some walking. Only problem with that, it has been thunder storms all week long.

So, on a completely different and random topic, my boyfriend's mom (often referred to as my MIL) called my phone the other day. She knows I'm out of classes for the summer (I'm just working on my Thesis) and she wanted to make a proposal to me. She asked me to clean her house and said she'd pay me. I said the first that popped into my head, "lady! I've got my own house to clean." hehe. We have a very good relationship, so she knew I was joking around, but for some reason her proposal felt really odd to me. She said she'd call back later and do some price negotiation, so now I'm trying to figure out what price I'd name if I had to. I mean, do you do it on a whole job bases? Do you do it on a per room fee? Per chore? I won't lie, the money would be nice since I'm going to Vegas. An extra $20 is an extra meal for me...but it still seems odd to be paid by my MIL to clean her house. My guess, she'll want the master bathroom cleaned, the kitchen swept/mopped, everything in the house dusted off, and the carpets vaccuumed. Not an insane amount of work, but all this is compounded by the fact that first of all it is my MIL's house (her expectations of clean vs. mine may be a little different) and the fact that there is a big, stinky English Bulldog running around chasing brooms, mops, and vaccuums.

Las Vegas! I miss you!

2007-05-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

Christina got me thinking about Vegas. About all the great things to do there and about all the things I really want to do while I'm there this time. Everything I wrote is in this blue color. Stuff I pulled off other websites is in black. I tried to link everything up so ya'll would know where it came from. If you have more information about Vegas that you'd like to share, I'd love to hear about it. I LOVE Vegas.

Hotdog - Gold Coast - 10 am-7 pm - 75¢ The 75¢ hot dogs served from a vendor's cart at the Gold Coast also move up a notch on a seasonal consideration (#9). It's baseball season, after all, and they're available right there in the sports book where the games are constantly televised. And unlike the ballpark (where the dogs cost five times as much), these come with fantastic fixins', including sauerkraut, relish, and onions.
Link
I don't think it was the Gold Coast, I think it might be next door, but the 1/2 pound hotdog is definitely enough to share!!! Buy one and split it just for the novelty. I smothered mine in the runny cheese they have, but it didn't really save the taste. It was still a boiled hotdog. hehe. I won't order that again, but it was DEFINITELY worth the giggles the first time. The margaritas sold with the 1/2 hotdogs are okay, not great on taste, but pretty strong on the tequila. My boyfriend, loved the strawberry shortcake (I think it might have been $1.25). Fun for a quick lunch.

Barbary Coast - (Check Prices) The Victorian coffee shop is a nice one, especially if you can enjoy a decent breakfast with sausage, hash browns and eggs for about $3 late at night.
Link
I haven't tried this place yet, but I think it is worth looking into, so I posted it to help remind myself. Generally speaking, we weren't up late enough to do any of the midnight dinners, or at least we weren't hungry at that time. Still a very cute idea. I think my goal might be to stay awake long enough to get some late night yum-yums.

Link to Free/Cheap things to do in Vegas
The fountains at the Bellagio are very neat. You have to show up a little early or you won't get a front row view. When the fountains aren't going, hehe, I always thought it was fun to watch the ducks/geese (I'm pretty sure they were unwanted guests). One thing I've read a lot is to watch your purse/wallet at the Bellagio fountain show. You get packed in pretty tight with people pushing forward trying to get a better view, so remember that there are pick-pockets in the crowd.

The show at Treasure Island is fun, but if someone so much as sneezes, the show is cancelled due to wind restrictions. It is definitely worth a watch, plus it is free! The same wind restrictions limit the Mirage's volcano from going off, but when it does it is pretty neat. The volcano erupting didn't ever seem to draw much of a crowd, so it is a great thing to watch at your leisure.

I adore the circus --just blame it on the 6-year-old side of my personality-- so I love all the free shows at Circus Circus. You get to watch high-wire trapeez acts and clowns and skits...very fun! I never really figured out the schedule for shows, we just would walk in and within 30 minutes or so a new show would be starting.

Link to Cheap Food choices in Vegas

For breakfast I would recommend La Salsa Cantina. There are a few of them on the Strip and breakfast is $3.95, not huge portions but enough. I know there is one inside Desert Passage (Planet Hollywood) and on by MGM in the mall with M&M World.
I haven't eaten here, but once again, something I plan to check out when I'm in Vegas. I loved the Desert Passage Mall. Hehe. How cool is it to have a random mall inside a casino! I didn't do any shopping while in Vegas (hadn't really budgeted for it) and to be honest, I thought the prices were a little high (I'm from the midwest, everything is cheaper here =0p ) but it was still a great time for window shopping.

A great list of the Buffets
We loved the spice Market Buffet inside of the Alladin (I think it is "planet hollywood" now). We'll probably make that our first stop when we get into Vegas after checking into the hotel. A great big meal, a quick nap (or vice versa depending on how I feel after the plane ride) and then lots of fun!

Excalibur's buffet was okay, but I won't eat there again.

The boyfriend and I both really enjoyed the Buffet at Treasure Island named Dishes. At least I'm fairly certain it was at treasure island. Believe it or not, he LOVED their salads which were made to order right in front of your eyes. I liked the sweets (suprise, suprise!) but come on! When was the last time you saw cotton candy on the sweets table. hehe.

As you can probably see from that link, buffets get MUCH more expensive for the "dinner" hour. However, if you don't mind eating a little early, figure out what time becomes "dinner" and show up 30 minutes early. That should get you through any line and into the buffet for "lunch time" prices. Plus, if the buffet changes out food from lunch to dinner, you actually get more choices most of the time =)

Other random thoughts:
Jimmy Buffets Margarita Ville is fun. It has a fun atmosphere with a giant blender full of booze. hehe. The hamburgers were yummy and the drinks were good. The prices weren't awful, but it was slightly pricey. I thought it was worth it, but I've always been a Jimmy fan.

Hardrock Cafe and Nascar Cafe. Both are cute, but I'm not sure I'd ever visit them again. Maybe for the novelty value, they are worth the trip, but the food wasn't all the great. It was very "pre-fab" food. Or, in other words, any 16 year old could have pushed a button on a microwave in the back to cook it.

Excalibur --while the food wasn't great, they did have some fun stuff going on upstairs. They had a free magic show. Sure, it was targeted at kids, but I loved it anyway. They also had some cute booths that did face painting (did I mention I act like a 6 year old sometimes?) and hair wrapping. Tons of fun! They have an arcade (I think it is called the midway) that has a bunch of cute, fun prizes. An easy way to spend $30 and an hour or two of your time.

Speaking of arcades, there is one on the strip too. I think it might be near the M&Ms store, there is a staircase in the middle of the sidewalk going down. I thought it might be some sort of subway entrance at first glance, but down inside is an arcade. I thought it was a fun stop over, plus it was well air conditioned inside which was nice since it was 110 degrees when we went.

For fancy dining, we dressed up and went out to Emeril's New Orleans Fish House . OMG!!! Yum doesn't even begin to describe it, but if you notice, the prices aren't labeled on the menu. Never a good sign! We splurged here and went big on the food. It was fantastic and worth every penny. The fish house is located inside the MGM grand, and reservations are pretty much a MUST. Dress code is also "nice" so no wearing shorts and a ratty t-shirt =) If the "fish house" part of the name turns you off because you don't like sea food, check out the menu. We had a steak and it was ....*sigh*....no words to describe it....just *heavenly sigh*

On the flip side, we also went to Emeril's Del Monico and we weren't impressed. We're from Missouri, so we love our steak, but for the price, this one wasn't that great. I would have rather spent that money somewhere else....a very disappointing feeling. Now, maybe we just didn't try the right steak for us, but if you want to go to an Emeril restaurant, I'd definitely recommend the Fish House of Delmonico.

This is starting to look like a novel, so I'll stop writing now. Once again, I'd love to hear comments and suggestions about things to do on the Vegas Strip or Fremont Street (we have yet to make it down there on a vacation. This year will be the year to visit Fremont Street!!!)

My tummy hurts!

2007-05-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

hehe. I'll write later. All I can think of now is that my TUMMY HURTS! Guess it could have been those cheese fries I ate last night >.< Oh but they were so good at the time!

How to kill ants!

2007-05-03T13:48:00.000-07:00

hehe. The Google Ad on the side of my page today was "how to kill ants" that is so awesome! There are lots of pictures of different kinds of ants and what they like to eat. Actually, some pretty interesting stuff (I still hate ants with all my heart and soul at the moment!) My ant problem seems to be gone *crosses fingers* again. I've thought the problem was over several times in the past, so I'm not holding my breath, but under the old dog house (I don't have a dog, it was left over when we bought the house) there was a a HUGE ant colony. I wish I had pictures to post. It was almost impressive...except for the fact that they were getting into my house.

I wanted to share with everyone that I'm officially down 5 pounds from when I started trying to loose weight for the Flip this Body challenge. I know, that is nothing compared to some of your ladies (and gentlemen) out there, but I'm pretty happy about it. I started thinking to myself how many times I bought a shirt or a pair of pants that were on sale because I could wear them if I "just lost 5 pounds" Okay, most those things still don't fit because lets face it, 5 pounds isn't all that much when you are over weight, but still, I'm excited to see that number. I'm hoping the rain will clear up and I'll get some more excersise in this long weekend and not gain. Since I'm spending the weekend with my b/f this might cause trouble. We easily cave to eachother's requests for unhealthy food. This weekend, I'm going to constantly chant to myself, "portion control, portion control, PORTION CONTROL!" that last part of the chant is when the food gets put down in front of me or for when the b/f asks if I want to buy something sweet. hehe.

185 pounds! Not a light girl yet, but I just keep chanting the number in my head. hehe. (seems to be a good day for chanting, lots of rain to help me keep a beat =0p ) I am excited about this number even though it still reaffirms that I'm overweight. It doesn't seem like that long ago when I stepped on a scale dangerously bordering on 200 pounds. Now I'm down to 185, a little over 10 pounds lighter than when I started this blog. A few days ago someone asked me if I'd lost some weight. hehe. What a great feeling!! I told them I hadn't because I'm not quite ready to share with my RL friends and family the fact that I'm "trying to be good" I swear, everytime I let that information slip, someone immediately feels the need to make cookies or brownies. hehe.

I want to give a BIG shout out to everyone out there blogging. I"m really positive that your stories, comments, and links to healthy eating websites have helped me stay on track.

Thanks everyone!!!

Hmmm...

2007-05-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

I didn't do too much today other than overeat and sleep. hehe.

I went out to lunch with a friend today. She is graduating at the end of the week and in all actuality, I'll probably never see her again. She isn't a really good friend, but it still makes me kind of sad because I think, given more time, we could have been much better friends. Graduation time always makes me wonder how many people are leaving that I would have benefited myself by getting to know better. That isn't ment to be self serving in any way, I'm not just talking about making networking connection for life after graduation, I'm talking about friendships as well.

For dinner, I made two new recipes that I found on HungryGirl. I made pigs-in-a-blanket with low-fat crescent rolls and 98% fat free hot dogs. I LOVED them. they aren't necessarily a "good for you" type of thing, but for me at least, they would feel very indulgent on one of those days I want a treat. The other recipe I made was chicken strips. For the crunchy breading on the outside of the strips, HG recommends using Fiber One cereal. All and all, it wasn't a bad suggestion. I think I'd almost rather eat my chicken with no breading, but with it being Fiber One on the outside, I know that extra fiber is really good for me. I ate my strips with some hot sauce --YUM!--and considered my foray into finger foods a success.

I'll be doing my official weekly weigh in a little early this week. I'm going to take Friday off to spend with the b/f. We haven't made any big plans yet, but I'm sure we'll keep busy. There is talk of going on some nature trails to take pictures. I'm excited!

Just another day...

2007-05-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Not too much interesting going on here today. My sister and I rented some movies to help with our celebration of the end of the semester. We rented The Pursuit of Happyness and Man of the Year. Both were great movies. I'd really, really recommend The Pursuit of Happyness. I'm even considering buying it.

I made breakfast burritos with "garden" egg beaters. I'm still not super fond of the egg beaters, I think they cook up really funny, but my thought on them is still that they "aren't bad" I'll probably keep buying them because I do think it helps cut down the fat in my food intake.

I walked a little over a mile today! Yay me! However, the rain chased me inside, so I didn't get to go any further. I walked the first mile in about 16 minutes. Not the best time, but pretty decent for me. =) I'm thinking the next 3k I get to walk (in about 2 weeks) is still going to kick my arse. Hopefully though, I will be a little better prepared.

So, just a quick side note. I was thinking about all the great things that my boyfriend and I did the last time we were in Vegas and I wanted to tell you all about the Tournamet of Kings at Excalibur . It was SOOOO much fun! It is kind of a "dinner and a show" type thing. The dinner we got served was a soup (I think it was tomato), a small bird (hehe...I don't know what it was...a quail/hen/small chicken...lol...whatever it was, it was yummy!), a roll, a little bit of brocolli, and a few potatoe wedges (like big french fries). I'm sure there was some sort of sweet afterwards, but I don't remember what that was anymore. Anyway, after the yummy food (or midevil feast as they would say!) you get to see a show in the middle of the arena. Each audience section is a different country, so you get to cheer for a knight with your banner. The knights are on horseback and do all kinds of great stunts, including jousting! Then the horses are taken away and hand to hand sword combat occurs. This is all intermixed with some great pyro-technics from a sorcerer and dancing from several ladies in waiting. All in all, a GREAT night of entertainment. The tickets are a little pricey (I think they are something like $60 a piece) but you'll soon learn that all the shows in Vegas are expensive. At least this one comes with a dinner and it lasts for quite awhile. Plus, there are several 1/2 price show ticket places on the strip AND lots and lots of coupons and discounts located in and around show areas.

I'll post more things to do as I remember/think about them =D

What kind of sandwich are you?

2007-05-01T11:29:00.000-07:00

Don't be a mortal enemy like AnnieAnn LoL

You Are a Tuna Fish Sandwich

Some people just don't have a taste for you. You are highly unusual.And admit it, you've developed some pretty weird habits over the years.You may seem a bit unsavory from a distance, but anyone who gives you a chance is hooked!
Your best friend: The Club Sandwich
Your mortal enemy: The Turkey Sandwich

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsandwichareyouquiz/">What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

I'm sleepy

2007-04-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

Well, my family communication course is over. I turned in my last paper today. Hopefully it went well and I'll get an "A" in that class.

I walked a mile today. That was good! I also went out to eat with my little sister (we're celebrating it being the end of the semester), which was bad. I totally over indulged, but I loved every minute of it. hehe. I dunno, sometimes I feel like it is better if you just go ahead and "go for it" without that feeling bad afterwards. For me, it seemed like a much deserved night out.

Yeah, did I mention, I'm sleepy? Off to bed I go. I have more finals in the morning. *waves*

I read/watched this on Livys-weightloss-journey-to-loving-herself . I very rarely get sentimental or moved by online stories, but this one really touched my heart. To think I whine about having to walk a mile =0/ Read the "this" link, I'm pretty sure you'll be happy that you did...or at least that it will give you a little different perspective on your day.

TGIF!

2007-04-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

No really! Thank goodness it is Friday.

The first week of May if finals week for me, so everything has been going crazy here. I've got lots of papers and projects due and then I've got a bunch of other random things popping up that just "have to be done". For example, the internet/cable bill came yesterday and it was $30 more than normal. WTH? So, I've got to call them to find out why they decided to randomly charge more for their services. *sigh* I've also got an old dog house in my backyard that needs to be torn down. My dad thinks maybe that could be part of the ant infestation problem, so I think this weekend I may go at the dog house with a hammer or maybe a hatchet and a lot of poison. Grrr! (I came up with that hatchet idea after squishing an ant that was taking a stroll across my arm. *growls*)

NEWS ALERT!
Okay, not something to really get that excitable about, but for those of you that were wondering about the Google Adsense that is located on the side of my page....well, yeah. Reaching $100 for that first pay out is going to be a little rough, but I thought I'd go ahead and post how much money is in my Adsense account to keep you all updated on my progress and help you see how fast *snickers* the cash comes rolling in. =) I think I just posted something like a whole $0.41 in my account, but I'll try to update weekly. I'm still not impressed with the ads they are slapping up there, but on occasion there are some interesting ones.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Breakfast: Nature Valley Oats and Honey cereal (This stuff is YUM! I don't like cereal very much, but I'd highly recommend it!! If you click the link, at the top of the page click on "products" and at the bottom of that page is a picture of the box. Click that picture and all the nutrition info pops up.) with 1/2 cup of 2% milk
Lunch: Leftovers! 2 soft shelled tacos (see yesterday)
Dinner: I'm going to eat out tonight...so probably something very, very bad for me =)

No motivation

2007-04-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I need help!!! I'm so "bleh" feeling it isn't even funny. I can't get excited about anything this week. I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep. This rainy weather has got to stop!

The rain has got to stop, not just for my energy level to go back up, but so I can get outside and spray my yard again. Please, please, PLEASE if you know of any sollutions for keeping ants out of the house (other than cleaning, I've done that!) let me know. I'm seriously about ready to pull my hair out over this ant problem. Right after moving into this house, I noticed that there were some ants in the kitchen, so I made sure to wipe down everything after cooking and I sprayed some poioson stuff around the kitchen (I know, real healthy, huh? Spraying poison in the kitchen. yum, yum!) and that kept the ants away for a couple of months. Then, they moved in downstairs! I squished a couple and they smelled like the poison I'd sprayed months ago. I bought some little, round ant traps with food in them. They flocked to the stuff and they were gone. Winter came and went without any ants, but as soon as the spring weather hit, they were back by the ZILLIONS. They were in the kitchen, the bathroom, the basement. I bought some more ant bait traps and that cut down on the population. I sprayed outside the house and put down little ant repellent pellets around the foundation, but I still have ants. It is SOOO gross. I hate it so bad *pouts*

Speaking of pulling my hair out over the ant situation, I cut my hair. Come on ladies, a drastic measure had to be taken to help beat Jf's weight loss record!! LoL. Just joking (I've been oh so bad this week) but darn it! If I don't lose at least a little bit I'll be mad. I cut 5 to 6 inches off my hair. It had been down almost touching my butt and now it is sitting on top of my shoulders. Honestly, the lady that cut it took more than I wanted, but the great thing about hair is it will come back =)

Here is what I ate today (I have to write it now because I know Chris loves it so much =0p )

Breakfast: Fiber One bar and 1 liter of water
Lunch: Pasta (little sis cooked and that's about all she makes. hehe)
Dinner: Soft shell tacos. I bought 93% beef and tortillas with only 0.5g fat and some fat free cheese.
Snack: Peanuts. Way too many peanuts. I probably ate about a serving and a half while discussing with the sis what we should make for dinner. Oh yeah, I also had a string cheese and a 100 calorie pack of grasshopper cookies. Have I mentioned that I've been bad?

Random Recipe

2007-04-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

I'm going to have to figure out how to categorize my posts so I can find some of these recipes. This one was in my email and I wanted to save it someplace where I could cook it at my house, my b/f's house, or when I'm at the parent's home. =0)

Hog Heaven!

This is one of our most fun swaps ever. These flaky-licious hot dog treats taste almost exactly like the real ones. Juicy franks are wrapped in decadent dough and oven-baked for the flaky, buttery taste of the authentic hors d'oeuvre we all know and love! Go for it...

I think I may be in LOVE with this site. Check it out!
CLICK HERE because I said so!

Ingredients: 1 fat-free (or nearly fat-free) hot dog (like the ones by Oscar Mayer, Hebrew National and Ball Park)
1 portion Pillsbury Reduced Fat Crescent roll dough

Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Cut hot dog into 4 even pieces.
Stretch or roll out the triangle-shaped dough slightly, to make it a larger triangle.
Cut dough into 4 long, narrow triangles.
Beginning at the base of each triangle, roll a piece of the hot dog up in the dough until the point of each triangle wraps around the center.
Place dogs on an ungreased baking pan and cook for about 12 minutes (until dough appears slightly browned and crispy).
Enjoy!

Serving Size: 4 pieces (entire recipe)
Calories: 135
Fat: 5g
Sodium: 645mg
Carbs: 15g
Fiber: 0g
Sugars: 3g
Protein: 7.5g
*3 Points

Fiber One Bars

2007-04-24T08:55:00.000-07:00

I'm going out with the boyfriend all day, so I won't get to blog anything for tonight probably. My thought of the day:

I think Julie was the person that raved about Fiber One bars...So I decided to go try them out. Nutritionally speaking, I'm not 100% sold on these little bars, but they do taste yummy. I'm a texture kind of gal, so that seemed a little odd to me. It took until about half way through the bar for me to figure it out. It had the texture of a popcorn ball! Kind of sticky sweet, I had the peanut butter variety.

Overall: Taste = yum! but I am slightly curious if it is worth the extra calories. I might snag my MIL's WW counter and check points tonight just because I'm curious.

OMG! Why didn't someone tell me I was so LATE!! I'll edit this tomorrow with more info!

Fiber One Bar --Oats and Peanut Butter
150 calories
4.5g fat
9g Fiber
3g Protein

5k walk/run

2007-04-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, can I just say that I have SOOOO much respect for the people out there doing 5k and 10k run/walks!! I did my first one over the weekend and all I can say is yikes!!

Pace: 16:32 Overall Time: 51:17.77

I came in dead-last in my age catagory, but I have to be truthful, I was pretty happy with myself just for finishing the race. That third mile was really rough on me. Walking on a treadmill and around a flat track at school in NO WAY prepared me for the hills. I guess I really need to pump up the incline on that treadmill!

So, my boyfriend, his sister (much better shape than me) and me were all getting ready for the race to start. We were kind of in the middle of the group of people chatting before everything got started. I'd had a long talk with my boyfriend the night before telling him that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up with him or his sister. He assured me that we'd go my pace and that knew I could do it. I was a little nervous before the race, but I felt pretty good (even though it was WAY early for me to be awake =0p Geez! College student here!) that I'd even agreed to do something that could be considered excersise (with my attitude generally being, "if you don't try, then you don't fail --something I'm trying to fix). Well, the signal to start happened and WOOSH! everyone around me started taking off running. I looked back at my boyfriend with what I'm sure was a panicked look on my face. I was here to walk, not run! I don't remember actually asking him what to do, but I heard him say "Fake it!" So, there I went. The girl that always refuses to excersise, that told her 5th grade gym teacher that she'd rather sit out and copy the dictionary than participate in the 1 mile run, was running with massive amounts of fit bodied people passing her. I was out in front of my boyfriend and his sister and I could hear them chatting and giggling behind me while I was gasping for breath after about a block. All I kept thinking was, "They tricked me!!" This was supposed to be low impact! This was supposed to ease me into excersise!! This was supposed to be fun!!! Hehe. Looking back a few days later, I suppose I can laugh at the situation, but I was pretty aggrevated at the time. Let's look at this logically. The best way to have an out of shape girl start a race is NOT by having her use up tons of energy and oxygen in the first 5 minutes.

So, what did it teach me? I guess it helped me realize how very out of shape I am. I can't be this out of shape for Vegas! So, my goal is to walk at least 3 miles during the week. I'm going to try very hard to work myself up to a 15 minute mile. I might even try doing a little jogging after I figure out a good pace for myself. I'll hopefully work myself up to 6 miles a week after a little bit of adjusting to a new schedule. It also taught me that walking up hills makes my butt hurt! Finally, it taught me that I could do it, but that I need to train a little bit if I ever hope to make a 45 minute 3k =0)

Today, I bought my first magazine ever. hehe. I never thought I was a magazine reader, but I sat down and read First: For Women On The Go go tonight. It had some cute information in it and some interesting recipes. I think I might even try to pick up some chickpeas (which I'd never even heard of before) next time I go shopping at the store.

Today's Food:

Breakfast: Diet Coke (Mondays are rough on me. I never feel like I have "enough time" because I'm trying to make sure I have all my homework done =0p
Lunch: 1 cup cheese raveoli with a little bit of basil garlic pesto. I drank a cup of v-8 fruit fusion with this meal instead of my normal diet coke =)
Dinner: Little sis cooked. Always a little scary because I don't know exactly what is going into the meal. Tonight she made fried rice with chicken. At least I take comfort in the fact that she "learned" the recipe from me, so I know she didn't deviate too far and that she fried the rice with non-stick spray instead of oil.

Faulty Perceptions...

2007-04-20T12:38:00.000-07:00

So, I wander a lot when I'm reading people's blogs. After I'm done posting a comment, I often wander through the blogs of other people that posted then I read their comments and wander on to a blog that one of their frequent readers messaged from...(make sense?)

Anyway, on my wanderings today I came across a bunch of posts from outside of the US (doesn't anyone in America blog?!?!) and they were talking about the Virginia Tech shootings. A couple of the blogs really gave me a perception check of what people out there think about the US. I have to say, they were not impressed! Some of the stuff they talked about was true, but other things they wrote about were really, REALLY stereotyped things from the media.

So, I got to thinking about all the new people I've been meeting while blogging and realized the majority of you are from Canada, the UK, and NZ. So, here is my fun for today. I'm going to post some things that I visualize when I hear about those places. Since I've never been outside the US, I have no idea if they are true, false, or completely made up. I'd love it if you did the same about either Missouri or the USA. I just thought it would be interesting to see how very little we know about each other or how very right we are! LoL. I know I've pretty much got nothing when it comes to other countries but, *takes a deep breath* here it goes, please help me fill in the gaps where I need help!

Canada

1. Our neighbor to the north! (At least I know that is right)
2. I think cold, wintery place. Especially further north.
3. I think about a moose. Yeah, you heard me a moose! A big, dangerous one that wants to eat Americans lurking near the border. hehe
4. I think you have provinces, kind of like our version of states, only they are much larger. And, 5. I think about failing the geography test where I was supposed to name all the provinces.
6. I think about those stinking quarters of yours! You know, the ones that make it over the border and people here will refuse to take! Ooh! and I think about the fact that they are steel, which is cool, because they stick to magnets.
7. I think about the prices being higher in Canada.
8. I think cheaper medication and the debate over whether the US should have government run health care.
9. I think about people speaking French. I know, not everyone speaks French, but some people do!
10. I think you have a government, but I'm not 100% sure what it is =0p I think it is more like a British Government, but the economy is more like the USA??
11. I think about beautiful, old churches.
12. I think about fur trappers and traders. hehe. Isn't that part of your history?

United Kingdom
1. People from Ireland and Wales don't like to be told they are part of England. hehe. We had an exchange student here last semester and she always puffed up when people said she was from England. =D
2. Chips are french fries! Fish and chips are icky. Vinegar is bad. (oh, wait! Those are just my opinions. hehe)
3. I'm more familiar with the U.K. government. Parliament is really fun to watch on the television. Especially the House of Commons (is that the right words?!?). You have a monarchy, but it is pretty much in name only. and you get a vote of no confidence, lucky you!
4. I think of unemployment. I can tell you exactly why too. We watched a show in one of my classes about how British teenagers were out of control and having lots of children. It was supposed to teach us that America wasn't the only place where social reform was occurring, but 5. I remember the unemployment the most because I thought it was a frighteningly high number.
6. I think soccer and World Cup.
7. I think about old castles and the Tower of London --Lots of old, old, OLD history.
8. I think about constables not carrying guns and how much of a foreign idea that is to me.
9. I think about you driving on the "wrong" side of the road.
10. I think about taverns with beer.
11. I think of pretty green fields where urban life hasn't intruded and big cities where it has.
12. I think of rain.
13. I think of pollution.
14. I think of funny accents that Americans can't do properly =D but honestly, I love the way you speak.
15. I think "I speak English" but in truth I speak American because our word choices are very different at times. hehe
16. I think the cost of your gasoline is mind boggling.

New Zealand
1. I think Zena, Warrior Princess! That is where the filming was done, right?
2. I think gorgeous, beautiful, breath taking scenery
3. I think island below Australia
4. I think Tasmanian Devils, even though I'm not sure they have anything to do with NZ
5. I think that I have no clue what kind of government you have and that I've never even thought to consider it before.
6. I think amazing literacy rate (random fact given to us in class the other day)
7. I think you speak English, but I'm not sure if there are any other languages that are also spoken.
8. I'm thinking (just now thought about it actually) that if you speak English you were probably colonized by the English at some point in time. Maybe for spice trade?

Yeah, so those are some of the things that I think when I think about where you live. I'd love to hear back from all of you and I'll write a lengthy post (probably Monday) based on your responses. (Blogger really had a field day with my formatting. Sorry about that =0/ )

Have an awesome weekend everyone!!

P.S. For those of you want to get fit for a wedding. Sparkpeople had a cute reading today.

Money!! Not really =0p

2007-04-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I signed up for something new today. Instead of doing PayPerPost (notice that their stuff has been removed from my blog) I signed up for Google AdSense which is (or at least should be) located on the side of my page. For this one, I guess the basic idea is if someone clicks the ad on the side of my page (Once my blog has been approved, which it hasn't yet) then somewhere, someone puts a little tally by my name and I get a couple of pennies. hehe. I actually have no idea how much money it is per click, but that sign up rules DID specfically say I was not to click the ad myself (I guess they can see my IP address and if I'm the one clicking --slighty creepy, but fair enough) and I was not to encourage my friends or family to click the ad (or, in other words, pay ya'll off to get me some money! --once again, fair enough) The only stinky part of it that I've seen so far is the fact that you don't get paid until you've earned $100 in your account, so, my guess is I won't have earned that much by the time I'm ready to go to Vegas. *sigh* Oh well, I'll just throw it into next year's vacation fund =0) I'll let you all know how this works out for me.

So for today, I was kind of good! I went for a walk =0) There are a bunch of trails not too far from my house, so I convinced my little sister she should go with me (to keep all the bad guys away --hehe--I'm sure two females walking alone in the woods is much more frightening than one!) I grabbed my pedometer and loaded my sis up in the car and off we went. Well, I would have sworn I knew where I was going, but I couldn't find the trails I wanted, so we stopped off by the lake and went for a walk. I think I'll take my camera next time and I'll see if I can figure out how everyone is putting pictures on their blogs. =0) Oh, yeah, I forgot my pedometer in the car but we walked 30 minutes one way and about 30 minutes back. I don't know if I should count this as "cardio" on my meter, but I was definitely had my heart rate up for at least the first part of the walk. We started off with a very big hill.

Speaking of walks, I just agreed to do a 5k with my boyfriend this weekend. Yikes! I'm a little bit nervous because he works out almost every day and has for several years now, but he says he won't be too mad if I can't make it. I think/know I can do it, but I worry I won't be able to do it as fast as he wants me to =0/ I hate that feeling of disappointment, but I'm really going to try hard!

Today's food choices were....*drum roll please*
Breakfast: nada! I slept in until almost 11am. It was heavenly!! I know ya'll are jealous ~.0
Lunch: Alfredo. Yes, this was a decadent, calorie and fat laden meal, but it was tastey! I was really craving it, so that was lunch.
Dinner: Chicken with red sauce and salsa (umm...I'll explain after this)
Snack: 100 calorie pack of the grasshopper cookies --YUM!
1 liter of water
1 diet coke

Mexican Chicken

2 or 3 chicken pieces
A can of tomato sauce
Garlic Salt
Mexican Seasoning
Salsa
Onion
Tortillas
Cheese (if you want it)

This is a creation A-la-boyfriend, so I don't have measurements, it is all to taste, but this should give you a basic idea =0)

I spray a large frying pan with non-stick spray and throw in half an onion, that I've chopped into strips. While that starts to brown just a tiny bit, I open up my can of tomato sauce, grab the salsa, and find the lid to the frying pan (or a splatter guard because this stuff likes to jump out of the pan) With the onions cooked just a little bit (enough to release a little bit of flavor into the pan) I throw in the chicken (it is best if it is thawed), cover it with the tomato sauce, put in some salsa (probably about half a cup), and season it with the garlic salt and mexican spices. Slap on the lid and let it simmer while the chicken cooks. You'll want to check back on it every once in awhile to make sure it isn't sticking to the bottom of the pan. When it looks like the chicken is done, take two forks and shred the chicken by pulling it apart (if you treasure your teflon, you might want to do this on a seperate plate). Take the lid off and let the shredding chicken soak up the yummy liquids. You might have to let it cook for awhile to have the liquids cook off some(I always have too much liquids in mine...I'm never patient when cooking), but when it is less soupy, throw it on a tortilla and you've got a yummy dinner. My sis eats hers with chips (which I calculated to be about 28g of fat!!) and she throws a little bit of cheese on top as well (she used my non-fat cheese) Like I said, it is a season as you choose, so you can eat as you choose too. If this doesn't make any sense just let me know, I'll try to clarify. I'm not 100% sure on the calories or fat content, but since it is a chicken breast, tomatoe sauce, and salsa I'm thinking the worst thing for you is probably the tortilla...oh...and the salt content.

Poker Chip Key Chain

2007-04-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

I bought a poker chip key chain yesterday! yay! I'm so excited about vegas that I can hardly sit still as I type this...just wish that excitement would help me excercise a bit more. hehe. I do think that I've been eating well this week though, so hopefully that will help me with my weight loss goals.

I couldn't find any cool looking poker chips to make into maganets for my fridge and filing cabinet (in my make-shift office at home), but those are the next step in finding a little inspiration.

Oh my goodness! I am so excited! Flamingo Hotel, here I come!!!

Grumpy!

2007-04-17T23:36:00.001-07:00

Wow! I don't know if it is all the emotional stuff in the news, the fact it is my TOM, or changing up the foods in my diet, but I have been crazy over-emotional the past couple of days. I mean, I'm almost frightened to be around me!! You know the silent "mean thoughts" you get sometimes when you are out at the store and someone almost runs into you with a cart, or parks their cart in front of the entire section of milk, or does something equally irritating? Yeah, well, those thoughts weren't so silent for me today. So, let me explain what happened; although I feel a little bit bad for being snippy, I still think this lady deserved it.

I was at the super market pushing my cart when I noticed that the store had grapes on sale. I thought they looked yummy, so I started making my way over there. Now, I'm not a fast-pace kind of gal, so I was meandering that way when BAM! a woman with a shopping cart literally sprinted the last couple of feet to the display of grapes. I was totally taken aback by this cart powerplay! She blocked me from getting to the grapes!!! I'm not generally one to think the worst of a person, so I let her pick through all the grapes while I went to grab some veggies. There were lots of grapes, no reason to get upset. She left the aisle, so I grabbed a bag of grapes and moved on. I wanted some turkey lunch meat (for quick protein), so I parked my cart in front of the deli counter. The girl that worked there asked me what I wanted and BAM that same woman shoves her cart in next to mine, actually nudging mine out of her way and demands the girl serve her first because she is in a hurry. I bit my lip, smiled at the store clerk that looked really uncomfortable and told her to go ahead and help the other lady. I made up a nice little mental story about the pushy woman.

I decided she must be a mother of 5. Her first two children were female. The oldest was 16 and the next child was 13. The girls fought constantly about everything from sharing clothes to sharing a room. They had to share a room because they lived in a 3 bedroom duplex. The other three children were triplets, and they were boys. Age 9 and always getting into fist fights with one another. They were exceptionally rambunctious children because their father had run off with a college student two years ago and they now lacked discipline in their lives......

Yeah, that was about as far as I got with the mental story when the woman pushed past me once again knocking my cart. The girl at the sales counter apologized again and got me the turkey I asked for adding a little bit extra to the order for my having been nice to her (SCORE! Niceness does pay off!) I did a quick look around in the liquor department, but nothing sparked my interest so I moved on to my last stop in the store which was to pick up some milk for my little sis. There I encountered another woman. She had a toddler in the front of her cart and she was asking the little guy what kind of milk he wanted (chocolate, white, or strawberry --where were these choices when I was a kid?!?!) He was maybe 3 years old and he was adorable jabbering away to his mom. Mom had another baby in the back of the cart that looked really young. I bet it wasn't more than 3 or 4 months old (tiny little thing dressed up in pink frills. LoL) and that little baby was angry! it was crying those gaspy little cries with an occasional bellow. I like watching people, and like I said, I wasn't in much of a hurry so I just stood back waiting to get to the milk case and while I was doing that BAM! here comes grumpy woman again. She nudged the mom's cart back. My first thought was "uh oh" because if someone touched my cart with my babies in it I think a fight might break out. hehe. the mom looked up a little bit startled, but apologized for being in the way. Okay, she was kind of in the way, but instead of saying it was okay, grumpy woman said to her and I quote "you need to learn how to control your children" OMG! As if she could control the fact that an infant was crying. This wasn't like some 6 year old throwing themselves down in the middle of an aisle throwing a fit, this was a new baby! The Mom started to apologize again... she looked so pathetic trying to hush her baby. It really looked like she was going to cry. I wanted to strangle the grumpy woman, but I figured it wasn't my place and that I didn't need to get into somebody else's business. But what happened next, I couldn't just not say anything. As grumpy woman open the door to the fridge to get her milk, the toddler boy reached out and touched her (yeah, that's how close she was to him) and she yelled at him. She told him he was a bad boy and shouldn't touch people. The boy started crying, the Mom started crying, the grumpy woman continued scolding the both of them giving a lecture on manners. I couldn't take anymore, so I stepped in.

I was raised to never be confrontational. I was always taught to turn the other cheek or to just leave a situation but ARGH!! I don't think I've ever been so angry at a complete stranger before in my life! Keeping in mind that the situation was all ready bad and that the little boy was all ready terrified, I told myself I couldn't get loud. The mom had pulled her cart back a little ways away from the woman so she could try to get between grumpy and her son, so I pushed my cart up and into the grumpy's. She was shocked and immediately turned her venom on me. I simply pointed out that she was in my way. She told me it was rude not to say "excuse me" or wait my turn. I looked at her, smiled as nicely as I could and said, "oh? like you said excuse me when you passed me to get to those grape?" she spluttered a little bit about how she was in a hurry and didn't see me there (umm...obviously she SAW me there if she remembered pushing in front of me) So I asked her how exactly she has waited her turn at the deli meat counter. She started turning really red and just kind of stuttering, so I took that time to lecture her on manners turning everything she had just been preaching back on her. I wish I could say she apologized, but she didn't. She just threw a fit and walked off saying she was going to get the manager. LoL. About this time a man walked up to talk to the mom. she has stopped crying and so had to babies. I felt a little bit bad because I was so focused on grumpy that I'd forgotten about the mom and her kids. The man that walked up was her husband, I guess he'd been getting beer when all this happened. I didn't want to get too much more involved, so I told the lady she had a very handsome son, grabbed the milk and darted out of there to the check out line.

Long, long, long story short --I was putting my groceries into my car when somebody yelled behind me. I didn't pay much attention because I was thinking to myself "what got into you!" when someone tapped me on the shoulder. The man wasn't her husband, but instead a friend. He told me that her husband was deployed overseas and had been for the past 6 months. Her husband hadn't met the newest addition to their family yet and the toddler had just called the friend "daddy" in the store. the mom was already emotional when the grumpy woman stepped in and started the fight, but he wanted to thank me for helping her.

The really, really great part of the story the guy looked kind of embarrassed but asked if there was anything he could do for me since I'd helped his friend out. I told him I was happy to help and hoped I hadn't overstepped any boundaries....he kind of blushed and mumbled "do you want me to buy you some liquor?" Hehe. He must have been going into the liquor department when I was leaving empty handed. He didn't think I was old enough to buy my own beer yet. *giggles*

__________________________________________________________
Final thought for the day....I don't agree with 99% of the things that President Bush says, but today he said that school was a sacred place and the Virginia Tech shooting had ruined that feeling of safety. I agree. I wake up every day and go to University. I don't ever think about something bad happening there and I hate the fact that it now crosses my mind from time to time. I know in time that thought will probably fade, but darn it! I have enough to think about without trying to decide if the person that sits next to me in class is "unstable"

I was in junior high and high school when all the public school shootings happened here in the US. I remember that absolute panic that it set off in school systems. We had drills where a make believe person entered the school and we had to hide. Suddenly, being caught in the halls without a pass was no longer devious fun, but now looked upon as a possibly sinister and deadly activity. I don't want that feeling to invade my college. I don't want to be told again that I have to give up freedoms that I am used to because the school is making the environment safer for me. I am tired of that being the answer.

money, money, MONEY!

2007-04-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

I signed up for PayPerPost (https://payperpost.com/ ) today. I don't think my blog is old enough (I'm pretty sure it has to be 90 days old) so I've still got almost a full two months to go. *sigh* So much for getting some quick cash for Vegas =0p

I was curious if anyone else out there is doing this and what they thought about it. Also, any other quick money making schemes out there that actually work? I'm not talking about selling blood or vital organs here, just something cheap and fun that I can do for a little extra walking around money.

I'm a college student, so I've got the time to do almost everything but hold a steady 9-5 job. hehe. I'm pretty smart and I can write well if I choose to apply myself (and the spell checker!).

If anyone out there has any interesting suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

**hugs**

Ugh!

2007-04-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

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Yup, "ugh" about sums it all up for me. A combination of feeling bleh, a fire down the street from my house, school work, and family has kept me too busy to blog. Well, I'll be truthful, I wasn't too busy, but at the end of the day I was just too worn (co--LAZY--ugh) out to reflect on all the bad eating and not exercising that I was doing.

So, I'd like your ear (or in this case I guess it would really be your eyes) to wax philosophically into for a few minutes. What does disappointment mean to you?

I am enrolled in a course named Family Communication right now. The name of the class is pretty self explanatory. It looks at how you were raised directly impacts how you act today. The class topic was discipline. Even though the answers on how people were disciplined were varied, a common theme was the "I'm disappointed in you" speech given by the parents. Sometimes the speil was called the "I know you can do/be better" but all in all it was the same basic theme, behavior through shame.

Okay, some of you out there are probably getting defensive right now. Thinking "my parents did that and I'm fine" or maybe you are a parent and you're thinking "my kids are fine! don't critique my methods until you have to deal with my kids" I'm not trying to lecture on how a child should be raised, but I am really wanting to write about this and maybe inspire people out there to think about the feelings that speech brought up for you as a kid.

I find myself "falling off the wagon" and not eating well. Hell, I haven't even found where the exercise wagon is parked at so I could fall off of it. hehe. I find I often turn to my fellow bloggers for motivational stories or for methods to get back on track. Whereas there are several great stories out there, I also find SOOO many stories/posts where people are beating themselves up because they haven't stuck to a diet or an exercise plan. It makes my heart bleed for all those people out there doing that to themselves. Feeling so bad about who they are and beating themselves up for it, mostly because I've been there so many times.

There is no nice way to put this. Self doubt is a bitch.

So, here are my thoughts, for whatever they are worth. It is easy to be disappointed in yourself. As awful as I feel emotionally (and often physically) when I start beating myself up, I need to acknowledge that those feelings are actually easy for me. I've known self doubt for a long time. I've known how to tell myself that I'm a fat cow (okay, maybe not that harsh except on my worst days). What I don't know how to do is forgive myself and start over. What I don't know how to do is move past the self doubt and make a change.

Change is hard. I don't care if you are changing a tire or a lifestyle, change is hard!!! So, instead of beating yourself up when you "fall off the wagon" realize that in every challenge there will be set-backs. The key is getting back up after you fall. Sure, it is going to be hard, but think of all the great sayings out there....A Journey of 1000 Miles Starts with a Single Step......We All Start at the Same Place in Life, Too Weak to Hold a Bottle....come on, without those stumbling blocks in life we'd never be able to support the motivational poster industry!

So, next time you stumble, don't beat yourself up. That "I'm disappointed in you" talk is just as devastating coming from a parent as it is coming from yourself. Remember, you haven't ever fallen too far to get up. And most importantly, remember those stumbles are necessary for growth, as well as a lot of inspirational writer's paychecks!

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Food today (Monday):
2 leftover pieces of pepperoni, italian sausage, onion pizza
1 piece of string cheese
chips and salsa
1/2 chicken breast, 1/2 ear of corn, mashed potatoes
100 calorie pack --mint-chocolate cookies
granola bites (peanut butter flavor)
2 diet cokes
1 liter of water

Can I weigh in today?!?!

2007-04-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

I know for a fact that I lost 1 pound today! hehe. I donated blood today and according to the blood bank volunteers, that is how much a pint of blood weighs. Not something I would have ever thought to ask, but the guy sitting next to me was very chatty and that was one of the questions he asked.

Donating blood always makes me feel "bleh" afterwards. I'm so tired and worn out, but I always tell myself that I'm a lot better off than the person that will be receiving my blood. =0) I drank my two liters of water today because they say it is really important to rehydrate yourself, but UGH! I'm not bouncing back from this donation experience nearly as quickly as I normally do. I actually feel a little sick in the belly, as well as light headed this time around. I'm off to bed early to hopefully feel better when I wake up in the morning.

Review on Egg Beaters:

Hmm....I tried my egg beaters this morning. I measured out 6 eggs (I was sharing with my little sister) to make a couple of breakfast burritos. Since I knew I was going to donate blood, I really wanted to make sure I ate a big breakfast. The directions on the egg beaters say not to stir or flip the eggs until the sides/bottom is kind of done. I tried to follow the directions as best as possible. They cooked up a little flat (I'm used to big fluffy eggs made with milk and lots of butter...hehe...no I don't wonder why I'm a fat kid *razz*), so that disappointed me a little bit. Since I was putting them in a breakfast burrito, I put some green pepper and some onion in with the egg mix. When they were done, I dished them up onto a tortilla and topped mine with some yummy pico de gallo. I was REALLY disappointed in the egg's flavor. I didn't think there was any flavor at all. they were just kind of blah. Next time I cook, I'm definately going to season the egg mix up a little bit. I guess it could be considered a slightly good thing that they were blah, because half way through my burrito I was done. No reason to eat something if it doesn't taste that good. I definately didn't feel the need to clean my plate. My little sis (who said she'd try anything once and consented fully to eating the Egg Beaters with me) thought the eggs were bleh too. She isn't too thrilled with the idea of trying them again. For me, I'm not 100% sure what I think, possibly just buying regular eggs and only using the eggs white might be better/easier/cheaper for me.

Today's food:

Breakfast burrito (3 eggs worth of Egg Beaters, green pepper, onion, flour tortilla, pico de gallo)
1 cup V-8 fruit fusion
Lean Pockets 3 cheese quesidilla with chicken (it was okay, but I doubt I'll buy again)
Non-fat Cottage cheese and hot sauce (OMG! Still so in love with this hot sauce! thanks so much for buying it for me my bestest-best boyfriend!)
Made-at-home pizza (Cheese, Ragu red sauce, pepperoni, green pepper, onion, pizza crust)
5 hershey kisses (From that rascally Easter Bunny)

My food choices weren't "awful" today. I kept eating after giving blood hoping it would perk me up a little bit. I think the chocolate really helped, but that might have just been me needing to feel a little special. I know that made at home pizza was bad, my sister was in charge of cheese duty, and she went above and beyond the call **razz** However, I have to hand it to her, it was yummy.

OMG! I almost forgot!! Right after breakfast I did 10 minutes on the gazelle again. I bumped myself back down to beginner on the video again since my legs hurt for almost an entire week after doing intermediate. LoL. I know, not exactly forward progression, but me doing any excersise at all is a pretty big WOW in my book. hehe.

Take care everyone!

yawns

2007-04-09T21:53:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a short post because I'm tired. I'm trying to make sure I write every weekday just to motivate myself and to remember why I'm doing this whole "weight loss thing". So....here it goes....

My Easter weekend was fun. Lots of kids (neices and nephews), candy, and junk food. I tried really hard to stay out of all of it, but I have to say, an opened bag of potatoe chips is my downfall. I ate more chips than I should have, but I did try to moderate myself somewhat. The bag of Easter candy that the bunny left for me has been kind of rough. I got starburts, hershey kisses truffels and coconut. Yum, yum, yum! I ate 4 or 5 of each candy, but I set the rest out on my kitchen table. Hopefully it disappears into someone elses tummy.

I went to the grocery store today, but I didn't bring a list of ingredients for the cottage cheese pancakes. They may have to wait until next week or until I figure out something else I forgot. I will 100% report what I think about them though. Instead, I think I'll try another recipe that I got over the weekend (or a modified version of it at least)

While at the store, I picked up a couple of items that have been suggested in my comments. I got some non-fat cottage cheese (if I'd just rememebered the flour!!!) and some 2% milk string cheese. I'm going to try to use these as snacks so I won't be SOOOO hungry later in the day and for when I just *have* to have a snack before I go to bed. I also bought some egg beaters (much to my sister's disgust) that I'm thinking I'll try out tomorrow for breakfast. I'll admit, I looked at the tofu and soy products and I just don't have the courage to buy any of them up. I have to admit, I'm a pretty picky eater, but that isn't what really stopped me. I just couldn't quite buy anything that expensive without figuring out what type was "the best". So, if you have any experience with those types of products, I'd love to hear about them. hehe. Maybe you can help me work up the courage to buy.

Today's food consumption:

Breakfast/lunch (I was running a little behind this morning): Easter Eggs! I had two small hardboiled eggs. I only ate the whites, even though the yolk is my favorite part! A big baked potatoe with spray butter on it. Diet coke.
Dinner: Skillet chicken with jalepeno salt and hot sauce. YUM!!! I had a piece of frozen corn on the cob and another baked potatoe (I bought a 10 pound bag of potatoes that will NEVER end!) and a diet coke
Bedtime snack: Non-fat cottage cheese with a little bit more hot sauce. =D

I only had 2 diet cokes today, but I didn't drink hardly any water. Tomorrow I will be better!

I think I'll try this recipe for dinner tomorrow night. It is another weight watcher recipe, but it sounds pretty good. I "dumbed down" and "short-handed" the recipe for myself, but if you want the actual version I can get it to you. Just let me know. I'll have to see if I can find a calorie/protein/fat breakdown for this recipe. Always kind of interesting to know.

8 poings
servings 4
prep time 18 minutes
cooking time 30 min

Ingredients:
12oz uncooked lean ground beef
1 med. onion chopped
12.5 oz canned stewed tomatoes (mexican style undrained)
1 1/4 can canned tomato sauce
2 tbsp canned green chili peppers, diced, drained
1 tsp ground cumin
1 cup dry whole-wheat elbow macaroni
15 oz canned kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup kraft non-fat grated cheese topping

instructions:
cook beef and onion until browned. drain fat. stir in undrained stewed tomatoes, tomato sauce, chili peppers, chili powder and cumin. BOIL. stir in uncooked macaroni and kidney beans. BOIL. Reduce heat. cover, simer until pasta is done

1 and 1/4 cup per serving

Cottage Cheese Pancakes?

2007-04-06T12:15:00.000-07:00

So, I've been doing a lot of reading online. Lots of blog posts, lots of articles, and lots of recipes. This is one I think I'll try next week: http://health.msn.com/dietfitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100159781&page=1

Cottage-Cheese Pancakes
These pancakes, created by Goulding, are not only packed with high-quality protein, but also lighter and fluffier than the classic version. Serve with a bit of butter and sugar-free syrup.
1 c cottage cheese
2 eggs
1/2 stick butter, melted
1/2c milk
3/4c whole-wheat flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2tsp nutmeg (optional)
In a large bowl, stir together the cheese, eggs, butter, and milk. Add the flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, and nutmeg, and blend lightly until just mixed. Grease a griddle with cooking spray and place over medium heat. Put a large scoop of batter on the griddle and use the back of a spoon to spread it out evenly. The pancake is ready to flip when you begin to see small air bubbles form, about 3 to 4 minutes. Flip and cook for another minute or 2. Makes about 12 4-inch pancakes.
Per pancake: 97 calories, 5 g protein, 8 g carbohydrates (1 g fiber,2 g sugar), 5 g fat (3 g saturated)

I love pancakes, so maybe this healthy version will be great for me! I'll let you all know after I work up the courage to try them! =)

I lost 3 pounds this week, but I'm not going to move my "weight loss ticker" until I get back on Monday. The weekends are rough on me. It is the only time I get to see my boyfriend in our "long-distance" relationship, so when we are together we go out a lot. Eating just seems to be the natural thing to go out and do here. I wish the weather would warm up so we could at least go out for a walk or a bike ride before eat a bunch of food that is bad for us!

Today, I'm all ready up to my 2 liters of water a day goal! (yay!!)
For breakfast, I made another breakfast burrito, but this time since I was just cooking for myself, I made it with 2 egg whites and 1 regular egg. I've heard/read that the yolk is where most of the fat in the egg is stored, so hopefully this was a healthy alternatives (I've read so many different websites with different opinions, I'm getting slightly overwhelmed). I was amazed to see how different eggs cook when it is mainly just egg white. My eggs didn't fluff up at all and the flavor wasn't there quite as much, but puttin in a little bit of pepper and onion made up for all of that. Overall, a very yummy way to start the day. I'm thinking next week, I might try cooking enough for 2 or 3 burritos and wrapping them in plastic wrap for later in the week. I'm ALL about the easy meals.

Have an amazing weekend everyone.

Personal Demons...

2007-04-05T22:43:00.000-07:00

So...I went to check out sparkpeople and this is what they said I should be eating:

1200-1550 calories
27-60g Fat
135-252 Carbs
30-136 Protein
25-35 Fiber

I guess I'm looking at this as a "knowledge is power" type of thing, but I'm still having trouble figuring out when I'm going to eat that many calories. I don't think I can eat them in my current 3 meals a day world, at least not without those calories being filled with fat. I'm a college student, so I spend most of my days either in class or tucked away in the library. Neither one of those environments is very good for eating snacks. I do have to say though, that I love sparkpeople's excersise "how to" videos. Now, I wish I could find someone to go to the gym with me. I'd be so much braver if I had a buddy!! Especially if that buddy could help me figure out how to use all those torture machines....uh....I mean workout machines.

My boyfriend asked me how my weight loss goals were going the other day....*sigh*....I can't quite decide if he is doing this because he wants to be supportive or because he wants to gloat that I haven't lost any weight. hehe. Isn't that awful? When the subject of my weight comes up, I immediately go to the worse case scenario. He isn't talking to me because he is concerned, or because he wants a buddy to lose weight with; instead, HE IS OUT TO GET ME! LoL. I guess growing up as the "fat kid" got to me more than I ever realized. The sad part is, I think he is trying to be supportive and I just can't deal with it. He is doing the NS diet (I don't have the cash for it) and really wants to have someone to share weight loss goals with (especially for our trip to Vegas!). I'm hoping blogging some of my weight loss issues here will help me gain a support system (I love reading everyone's stories and knowing I"m not alone in the struggle to make it to the gym), as well as work through some of my own personal demons.

Okay, enough airing of my personal demons. I need to go upstairs and soak in the bathtub. I dyed Easter eggs today and my fingers are all multi-colored. It is kind of fun, but I'm really hoping I don't have blue, green, and pink fingers for very long!

*grins* I made it through the ENTIRE week without eating a single crumb of the half pan of brownies mom sent home with me. Yay!

Ooh! End note:
Breakfast: Burrito with egg (sis refuses to even try egg beaters *sigh*), onion, green pepper, and some pico de gallo all rolled up in a tortilla. Yum!
Lunch: Left over pizza from the night before.
Dinner: (Sis's turn to cook) Baked Macaroni
After Dinner Snack: Glass of V-8 Fusion. I really love that stuff! Who knew that I'd ever enjoy anything with carrot juice in it!
I drank 2 diet cokes today and 1.5 liters of water. *slosh*

Excersise: Hmm...I mowed the backyard...and I did it FAST. My heart was really racing, but I wanted to finish it before dinner time...plus it was cold outside *shivers*

Yay! I got comments!!!

2007-04-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

First off, I want to say thanks for the great comments. It is really motivating to read everyone's blog and listen to all your great ideas/stories. I'll 100% check out Sparkpeople tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I have to say the Taco Soup is yum, yum, yum! I add some more spices to it (just like the soy sauce --I'm a sodium fiend!) because I like things hot, but it can be made really mild too (my sis hates spicy food!). When I cook it, it makes a HUGE amount so me and my little sis eat it all week long. Also, if I know I'm going to be super busy next week, I make it in advance and freeze it. It freezes/unfreezes great. My mother-in-law gave me the recipe...she got it from a WW meeting so there are all kinds of variations to it.

I guess I never really thought about getting "too few" calories per day. I rarely excersise, so I guess I just figured that I didn't need the extra calories. I'll go to the grocery store and look for some low-fat yogurt and cheese tomorrow. I'd really like to get this weight loss started and if eating more helps out...*grins*...I'm all for that!

I was lazy today. Since I kind of realized from just journaling my food the last couple of days that I wasn't getting enough calories, I tried extra hard today to eat a little bit more. I ate cereal for breakfast instead of just drinking juice. I had 3/4 cup of Honey Bunches of Oats (trying really hard to keep myself portion conscious) with 1/2 of 2% milk. Lunch was cheese raveoli with a garlic/basil pesto. Not exactly healthy, but I once again stayed true to the portion size instead of eating gobs and gobs of the pasta (which I SOOOO could do with raveoli!!) Dinner was very tastey, but not so good for me. I thought it would be fun to make my own pizza. My little sis had never done it before, so we went to the store and bought a pre-made pizza crust and some green peppers and onions. I had cheese and peperoni at home all ready. Like I said, very tastey, but I definately ate too much of it =0) I've seen several posts about how yummy turkey peperoni is, so after this package of regular peperoni is gone, I plan to pick some up. Is there a big taste difference with the lowfat cheeses? Or does it melt differently?

I ask this because the little sis I keep referring to is really skinny. I mean, so skinny that you'd almost love to hate her (especially since we generally eat the same foods!!), but I still get to love her cause she is my sis =0) I don't really want to cut too many calories/fats out of her diet (we almost always cook our meals together) because I don't think it would be too healthy for her to lose weight.

I've been bad today. I didn't go to the gym, which is sad (my legs hurt from that crazy gazelle) and I drank 3 diet cokes instead of drinking water. Funny thing is, I'm really thirsty now. Maybe I'll go drink my water bottle now. hehe. That will help me get up early tomorrow to go to the gym. LoL

My happy thoughts for the day...

--I had to give a presentation at school today and after I was done the teacher told me I had done a good job. She is the kind of person that doesn't lie or offer praise if you've done poorly, so I'm excited about that !
--As a "bribe" to my class, I made chocolate chip cookies. I didn't eat any cookie dough or any of the cookies that I made (even though they smelled SOOO good!). I didn't even lick the extra dough off my fingers! It is a small victory, but one I am proud of.

2007-04-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Excersise
Well, I did 10 minutes on the gazelle tonight. Boy, that could sound really dirty =0p I did the intermediate setting. Hopefully that counts as a little bit of excersise, I was definitely working up a sweat. So, here is a question. Am I supposed to do the beginner time AND the intermediate time? Or am I just supposed to do the intermediate? I'm not sure. Depending on how badly my legs hurt tomorrow, I might try to do both (which would be 20 minutes!)

I also tried to do some jump roping. I didn't count that towards my excersise time because I couldn't "get going". The highest number I got was 18 jumps before messing up and having to start over again. Hehe. I probably jumped for about 10 minutes, and I definitely got my heart rate up, but I don't know, just didn't seem worth counting since I started and stopped so much.

Food
V-8 Fusion
Serving Size:8 fl. oz.
Calories: 120
Fat: 0
Dietary Fiber:0
Protein: 1g
Taco Soup (1 serving this time)
Serving Size:1 cup
Calories: 209
Fat: 4g
Dietary Fiber: 6.5g
Protein: 14.8g
Fried Rice (Okay, I make this myself, so I'm kind of just trying to guess a little here)
Rice (half the bag)
Calories: 95
Fat: 0
Dietary Fiber: 0
Protein: 2
Soy sauce (I love the soy sauce! I have no idea how many Tbsp I ate tonight, so this is a guess!)
Serving size: 1 TBSP
Calories:10 (Like I said above, no clue here, maybe 8 servings?) =80
Fat: 0
Fiber: 0
Protein: 2 (WTH? Why is their protein in soy sauce?!?!) = 16
Chicken (Once again, I didn't measure, so I'm going to guess I had at least 8oz)
Serving size: 4 oz.
Calories: 110 = 220
Fat: 1g = 2g
Fiber: 0
Protein: 23g = 46g
egg (We used two for the meal, so 1 for me?) http://www.fitwatch.com/phpscripts/refreshviewfood.php
Serving Size: 1 large egg
Calories: 74
Fat: 5g
Fiber: 0
Protein: 6g

I drank 1 liter of water and 2 diet cokes today.

Daily Total
Calories: 798
Fat: 11g
Fiber: 6.5g
Protein: 85.8

I'm no exert, and I may be really, really off on my calculations for that fried rice, but that seems kind of bad. Why am I not getting at least 1000 calories a day. Is that why I'm having troubles with my weight? Am I actually starving myself? I mean, you can see that I eat!!! but maybe I'm not getting enough? *Sigh* Wish I wasn't so confused by all this stuff!

2007-04-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, this isn't exactly what I intended but...

Monday:
Left over buffalo chickens taco
Quaker Granola Bites (Peanut Butter)
Serving Size:1 bag
Calories: 90
Fat: 3.5g
Dietary Fiber:2g
Protein: 2g
Taco Soup http://www.recipezaar.com/81029
Serving Size:1 cup --> I ate 2 servings
Calories: 209 (418)
Fat: 4g (8)
Dietary Fiber: 6.5g (13)
Protein: 14.8g (29.6)
rice krispy treat
Serving Size: 1 treat
Calories:90
Fat:2.5
Dietary Fiber:0
Protein: >1g

Daily Total (without breakfast/lunch thrown in)

Calories: 598
Fat: 14
Dietary Fiber:15
Protein: 31.6

No excersise. I suck!

So Today I read...

2007-04-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

I read an article today on MSN about weight loss. http://health.msn.com/dietfitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100158805&page=2It gave a way to decide how many calories to intake and since I've decided to start a food log to see how many calories/fats/fibers/proteins I eat, I thought it was pretty interesting.

"Gold also helped the Blittersdorfs set daily calorie goals, based on how many calories they needed just to maintain their current weights. A simple formula gave them a ballpark range: their current weight in pounds, times 12. Since one pound of fat contains about 3,500 calories, they'd need to cut 3,500 calories on average—about 500 per day—to lose one pound a week. Doubling that to 1,000 fewer daily calories would let them lose approximately two pounds per week. (The lowest calorie goal on the plan is 1,200 daily calories; below that level, "it's hard to meet your daily nutrition needs," explains Harvey-Berino.)"

So, let's see, for me 190 x 12 = 2280 calories.

Wow! To me, that seems like a lot of calories to eat in one day. I really didn't think I consumed even half that number. I guess I'll soon be proven right (in my assumptions) or wrong. So, to meet my 2 pounds a week goal, I need to cut 1,000 calories a day out of my diet. WOW! That sounds exceptionally daunting. So, that means I need to eat about 1280 calories a day, right?!?!

I guess my question is, if I don't eat that many calories in an average day, then why I am still gaining weight? Is it my complete lack of excersise? Speaking of which, do I get to count mowing my lawn as excersise? hehe. I sure think it is!

Off to the store. Wish me luck this week. I'm going to need it =)

Fell off the wagon...

2007-03-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

This week I fell off the wagon BIG TIME. I don't know why exactly, but it has been a "bad week" from the start. I limited myself to one cinnamon roll, but that didn't stop me from pouting with a bowl of ice cream later in the week, as well as some dark chocolate. I'm back up to 190 and kind of depressed about it. I guess I just shouldn't weigh myself, but it seems like such a BIG victory to see the number go down. I just wish I wasn't so crushed when it went back up. I've got a plan now though.

My goals:
I want to lose 2 pounds every week. That seems to be a recommended "healthy" number for weight loss. If I lose more than that I won't be upset, but that is the goal I am setting for myself starting Monday. (hopefully my weight won't be more that 190 come Monday morning after my weekend binge) To lose this weight, I'm going to try to eat "healthier" but to tell the truth, most weeks, I don't feel like I eat that poorly. In fact, I'm not 100% sure I always get the 1200 calories that I am "supposed" to have in a day. So, in hopes that I'll notice the stuff I put in my mouth (that I'm obviously not noticing now) I'm going to try to start a food journal here. You can see just how unexceptional (and lazy) my cooking can be. The other thing I'm going to try to do is at least 90 minutes of cardio a week (--for me, a week is Monday thru Friday--since this is time that I am away from the boyfriend) I'll try to record my successes on that as well.

If you do happen to stop by my blog, please, please, PLEASE leave nasty posts if you notice that I haven't been writing. I try very hard to keep myself on task, but when I stop doing something, I stop doing it big (like not eating well this entire week!)

Have an amazing weekend everyone!

2007-03-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

You Should Weigh 175

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.

If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

How Much Do You Weigh?

Darn cinnamon rolls!

2007-03-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

187.6 that would be my weight after a weekend of eating out. I guess that isn't SOOOO bad, but it is kind of sucky to regress. I know, that thought didn't stop me from shoving food in my mouth this weekend, but it certainly is on my mind right now. So...what else is on my mind? The box of cinnamon rolls my mother-in-law so graciously gave me. "You don't have to eat them" she said. "Just give them to your sister (who lives here with me)" she said. *Sigh* They don't even look that good, but geez I want one!

This Wednesday I get to go out to a musical. I'm really excited about it, but I wanted to be skinnier for the show! Darn you cinnamon rolls!!! *shakes fist*

2007-03-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

I thought it was funny. Last night, after bragging on myself for feeling better and being committed to going to the gym, I missed my workout time. The gym closes at 8:45pm. I pulled into their parking lot at 8:30pm. *sigh* I don't know where the night went! One minute it was 7pm, the next 8:30! grr!

To make up for it, I'm going today, Friday, before heading home to see the boyfriend. He always asks me if I think he has lost weight. this week I want him to look at me and say "wow!!!" but I know it won't happen. We see eachother too often to really notice a change in body weight. It is all so gradual it is hard to remember what the other person looked like 10 pounds heavier or 10 pounds lighter. I think that is why it is so easy to gain weight. It is just isn't something that is "noticable" until you have to bump up a pant size. My goal for this summer, being wearing Large t-shirts and not look fat. Right now I'm wearing X-large. I also have a size 10 dress I'd love to be able to flirt around in....I think that is my super-duper goal. I'll look to be wearing it at the end of August.

Weight before going home for the weekend 186.2 ...it always goes up after a weekend of binging with the boyfriend. *sigh* maybe I'll try to restrain myself somewhat this weekend. I always think that, but it never quite works out. I think I'll also try to walk at least one night this weekend. I probably won't make a mile, but I guess if I can burn any calories at all, it will be an improvement. No more stalling....of to the gym.

In the beginning....

2007-03-22T15:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've meant to do this for quite awhile now. I, along with millions have decided to lose weight this "new year". Yeah, I'm a little slow to get started. It is almost April, but I'm doing good. I've been "good" for almost 2 weeks now. Maybe I'll really keep this up.

So, lets talk....in the beginning....

...I bought a scale. That is probably where a lot of women go wrong, but I did it. I guess a scale is a nice way to check reality. I know I wear a size 14 in jeans, but that doesn't see "so" bad. However, seeing a scale that reads 193 was a real wake up call for me. When did I become almost 200 pounds?

So, where did that leave me? I knew the facts were grim.
1. I 5'3" and damn near 200 pounds. Not a pretty picture.
2. I am lazy.
3. I lack cordination.
4. I lack will power.

Pretty easy to see where that 200 pounds came from after all, huh?

So, what did I do? I joined a gym...at least sort of joined a gym. It is a community center, but they have lots of machines and bikes and treadmills and other things I don't know how to use. That first day was rough on me. I felt pretty stupid not knowing how to even use a treadmill. Now, I consider myself a pretty smart girl most of the time. I'm getting a graduate degree, but I can't figure out how to use machines that I see 7 year olds jumping on and using. So, I sucked it up and asked for some help. Two weeks later, I'm still trying new machines every day it seems and working towards goals.

Setting goals...

I want to bike ride without falling over after 5 minutes. I haven't exactly decided what that goal is right now. The first week I struggled to go 5 minutes. The second week I bumped it up to 10 minutes. I feel pretty good about being able to go 10 minutes!! 3 miles, 10 minutes --sounds freaking amazing to me. I'll be honest, I'm proud of that milage and time span.

I want to walk 3.2 miles in an hour. Hehe...odd milage huh? I know, but there are these "walks" that you enter for good causes. My b/f really wants to do these walks as a together thing and right now, I can't honestly say that I'd be able to finish three miles in that time span. That is my goal. If I could take time off of that, hurray! Right now I'm just trying to walk a mile in 20 minutes. As the weeks go on, I'll make it another mile.

Why I decided today was the day to write...

I keep track of my weight in an almost unhealthy manner. hehe. I'm not going to any crazy extremes here (if I did, I'd be losing weight!) but I have watched it fluxuate continously the past couple of weeks...I have lost a couple of pounds...nothing extraoridinary, but it is a start. I've been pretty regular about going to the gym, which is amazing for me, but still nothing out of the ordinary. What is special? Today I put on a pair of my size 14 jeans, one of only 3 pairs I can wear and they slipped on with no problems. Still not seeing what is special? Let me help.

THEY SLIPPED ON WITH NO PROBLEMS!!!

that's right. No "fat pants" stretches. No tightness for the first couple of hours. Just slipped on. I don't know, maybe it is a fluke. The scale said 188 this morning...but I have to say....I am still excited. It was really motivating for me. Now, if I could get my eating under control along with doing this excersise stuff I may actually be on to something here =0)